A Blog About...

A Blog About Being a Christian, a Wife and a U.S. Army Officer.
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Life: Two trimesters down, one to go!

It's officially my last trimester! 26 weeks later and I figured it was about time for another update.  It feels good to be over the hump of knowing that if Joshua comes, he can survive.  Obviously, I want him to wait and develop fully and healthily but it is very comforting to know that he can come at any time.  In a couple of weeks, the Army restricts my work hours to no more than 8 hours a day, no more than 40 hours a week.  And yes, I am supposed to work up until my delivery day (unless the doctor's give me bed rest).

At this point in the pregnancy, I have been enjoying the normal symptoms of nosebleeds, heart burn, sciatic pain and low energy levels.  I have gained 20 pounds exactly  as of this morning and Joshua is kicking like crazy.  Kevin felt the kicking for the first time last week but it was off and on.  Now, if Joshua is kicking towards my front, my stomach moves noticeably.  It has become very distracting because now when I feel him kicking, I automatically want to look and see if I can see it.  Mostly he seems to like kicking me in the back, stomach and bladder.  

We've already put the crib together and got the bedding and wall decorations. We are waiting until we pick his dedication verse and then we will stencil it on his way and put the decals around it.  I am currently studying the book of Joshua during my daily readings for inspiration.  We have a few possibilities already, but our intention with the verse we choose is to help define the character we want our children to have.  

We have also been doing a fair amount of reading and have made a few "decisions" about life when Joshua comes and how we want to raise him.  I put "decisions" in quotes because these are mostly just the things we intend to try first.  For instance, we have just started talking about doing a birth plan and my current preference is to attempt a natural birth.  However, I am not opposed to getting anesthetic if that's how I feel once contractions start.  Similiarly, we have decided that once Joshua gets here, we intend to do the 90 Minute Baby Sleep Program.  Additionally, Kevin and I have decided that our child care choice is to use a nanny.  We will be waiting until his arrival is much closer to hire someone, but we will be using Sittercity to make our selection.  The last thing we have decided is that we are dropping most every commitment that we have outside of our jobs.  Since most of Joshua's time is going to be spent with the nanny, we both feel that it is really important to spend our time off with Joshua.  Not to mention the fact that unlike in most American sitcoms, we are expecting our life to change and revolve around fulfilling Joshua's needs.  Now, that's not to say we won't add things back to our social calendar as we feel able, but it will only be after we are sure that those things fit in the parameters of the type of parents we want to be.  

I think that's about it.  Just three short months left until Joshua is here and I think it will go fast and then slow.  Mostly because Kevin and I are taking a trip to Florida with my family at the end of the month and we are taking a trip back to Illinois in August (for a friend's bridal shower!) and a trip in early September for my baby shower.  And after all that traveling in the period of about a month, we will be coming home just to wait until Joshua arrives in mid-October.  

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Afghanistan: Number 24

Clearer view of mountains after rain
Alright, so I am a few days late.  This was kind of intentional, as I didn't want to post on my birthday, which was Sunday.  I turned 25 and as you might imagine, it was really just another day in Bagram.  It was a normal Sunday, in that I got up, video chatted with Kevin, had the morning off, went to lunch, then work then church after dinner.  Unfortunately, we had a rocket attack that night that was probably the first one that actually scared me, but at least it happened after midnight and not technically on my birthday.  Aside from that, it rained on my birthday, which is the first time I have seen rain since June (it technically rained for a few minutes last week, but I didn't know it was happening, so I didn't see it). But all in all, it was a regular day in Afghanistan.  So here goes another post for Afghanistan, knowing I should be home in just a few weeks.

Physical:  No new updates on this one, and there probably won't be much the rest of my time here.  Now that I have maxed my APFT, my fitness goals are pretty much complete.  I am probably in better shape than I have been in a long time, but I have never really been out of shape so that isn't saying much.  The goal now is to maintain when I get back, and that will be very difficult when I am back to the land of good food.

Financial: So there isn't a ton new to report here.  I did learn something new the other day though.  Basically I learned that if I hold onto my stocks for under a year, I am taxed on my gains in my current bracket (25%) but if I hold onto them more than a year, they will be taxed at 15%.  So I think I am going to try to hold onto both my stocks for the next year if I can.  And since I am getting so close to going home, I think I will even share what those stocks are.  One of them is Home Inns & Hotel Management Inc (HMIN) and Yandex (YNDX) which is basically the Russian version of Google.  Both are doing well for me and looking pretty strong.

Mental: So Lean Six Sigma is going well.  I am working on a second black belt project right now that basically covers proper planning within the Army.  Overall, I am showing that proper use of Army planning and design models paired with Lean Six Sigma can save the Army a lot of money compared to just picking projects not aligned with already set planning efforts.  My second project is going to help me get certified in Lean Six Sigma on the civilian side, since I already have my certification all settled on the military side.  This is also going to help me pursue my Master black belt.  Really, in the next week or so, I need to brief a General Officer from our division my path and plan for certification.  If he approves it, then I will be going to school for it next year, most likely.  If not, then it is dead in the water and I will just maintain my black belt.

Emotional:  So this one has been pretty good.  Life has been pretty easy going recently and I am very thankful for that.  I am also very happy that my replacement is here and we are officially starting our change over training.  She is catching on quickly and I think that change over process should be pretty seamless.  Once the new unit officially takes over in a couple of weeks, we will start heading home.  I think during that time of travel, I will be doing some automatic blog posts.  I am planning on doing a "stuff I learned on this deployment" post.  I am working on it now and am just debating whether I should break it up into a miniseries, or keep it all together.  Once I have everything written out, I will probably decide which to go with.  Honesty, I have learned a lot while I have been here.  Things haven't been easy, but I know that I have learned a lot from the experience.

Spiritual:  So I have been continuing in prayer and reading.  In my prayer life, I have been praying very consistently for certain individuals throughout the deployment. I am not seeing any sort of answer to that prayer, but I am glad to have stuck by a spiritual discipline for over 200 days.  In my reading, Kevin and I caught up to where we intended to be.  We started reading through the bible chronologically in March and it is broken up over a year period.  So back in July, we decided to read two passages a day until we got caught up to the right day.  Oddly enough, it just so happened to work out that we were caught up on my birthday.  We enjoyed reading so much, we decided to continue doing two-a-days.  Which should have us done before the end of November.  

Monday, October 7, 2013

Afghanistan: Number 23

Picture of my puppies at bed time. Can't wait to get home.
Alright everyone, so here is my 23rd post from Afghanistan and I should be back home in the next 4-5 weeks or so! It's very exciting to know that I have less than a month left in country.  I cannot believe that it is already here and I cannot wait to get home to my wonderful husband and cute puppies.  The closer I get to coming home, the more Kevin and I have started planning and preparing for what the next year or so might look like.  It is getting me very excited to come home!  So here is my 23rd update, per my usual style.


Financial: So, I still haven't sold either of my stocks, but that is because they are both doing very well from what I originally bought them at.  I actually surpassed a rather big land mark this week with them as I have officially made more than 50% on my original investment.  Right now, I am hovering around 55% and intend to hold both stocks for awhile.  The one's next earnings report comes out late in October and the other one's will come out in early November.  I plan on paying closer attention to them around that time, but both are looking like they will continue to go up over time.  And thankfully, with both of them, they are high enough that it is very doubtful they will fall so fast that I cannot sell off quickly.  I have alerts set up through my bank to let me know whenever they drop or gain significantly, so it makes it easier and I don't have to watch them.

Physical: Today I took my PT test and I scored a perfect 300. So that is another goal achieved.  Unfortunately, my run time wasn't what I wanted, but I screwed up my routine and threw myself off.  I decided to do one of my protein and green drinks. The protein was a great call, but the green stuff was a terrible idea.  Even though I took it nearly two hours before my run, it didn't feel like it digested at all.  I got to the turn around making great time, but on the way back (about the 1.5 mile mark) I started to feel like I was going to throw up. So I slowed down a little bit and told myself to hold it in until I crossed the finish line.  Which I did, but I added about 20 seconds to my time from the previous.  I need to continue working on my run time's because Colorado's elevation is about 2,000 ft higher than here.  I think working on the incline as well as working out during lunch times once I get back should help with that.  I did manage to get my 46 push ups and 100 sit ups though.  So, all in all, I can't complain.  Plus, I fired expert at the M16 range yesterday, so I guess it has been a good couple of days.

Mental:  So, I have some somewhat exciting news on this front.  First of all, they signed my DA 4187 and my certificate of completion for my Lean Six Sigma black belt.  So that is very exciting.  It should be added to my records soon, which will be the last step in this process.  But the second thing is that I might have a chance to get a Master Black Belt in Lean Six Sigma.  Basically, Master Black Belt's are instructors in Lean Six Sigma.  My instructor sent one of my products to his boss (who is a big deal with Lean Six Sigma in the Army) and he sent a response asking if I would be interested in potentially getting a Master Black Belt.  Now, this is definitely not for certain and there is a lot left to figure out.  To put it lightly, the training would come at a pretty penny and and they have to be very convinced that I am going to be successful and it will add value to the Army.  So, I am actually trying to knock out a second black belt project while I am still here.  This will not only help me to potentially become a Master Black Belt  candidate but it is also going to help me get a civilian certification as well (I want to take the ASQ when I get back, which gives me my civilian certification as well as my military).  I also need to take a qualifying exam and go through an interview process, so that will be a thing.  I have about three weeks to figure all this new craziness out.

Emotional: It has been a roller coaster of a week honestly, and it doesn't look to be stopping.  There is a lot going on with my unit right now, but also a lot going on in my life.  Honestly, Kevin and I are probably in the best place we have been this whole deployment, which is really encouraging given that I am just getting ever closer to going home. But there have been some difficult times too, but I think we are in a much better place now for it.  As for now, I am more excited than ever to get home to my husband and get back to my life with him.  We are so excited for the future and I think both of us are just really ready for me to get home.

Spiritual: So I had one of those moments this week where a verse in my reading just hit me like a ton of bricks.  The verse was Psalm 118:5 "In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free."  Sometimes it is just comforting to remember that we are free.  It's so easy to think I am burdened by God's commands, when the reality is, I am set free.  After all, Romans 8:1 says "There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."  The reality is, the judgment that should be reserved for me has already been paid at the cross.  It gives me the freedom to move and to love.  The freedom to love the Lord and love others without having to be afraid of screwing up.  Because the great thing is, God already knew my every failure prior to my birth, and He sent His son to die for me anyways.  I am free because the debt I owed has been paid.  

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Afghanistan: Number 22

Me covered in filth at Sharana last month
Hey everybody.  Time for my twenty second post from this lovely country with less than six weeks until I am home!!  It's been a pretty awesome week and  am excited to share some updates.  The first of which is that I have pretty much packed everything up!  At least, kind of.  I have basically gone through and packed in such a way that I am sure all my stuff is going to fit.  Tomorrow, I will finish my Christmas shopping, load up the last bit of stuff, and then create my packing list.  Later this week, I will be loading two tuff boxes and a duffle bag into our containers.  After they get approved by customs, then our stuff will get shipped home.  My room will feel pretty empty once I load my stuff in the container, but I think I am good with that!

Mental: Lean Six Sigma is almost completely closed out for me!  The last bit is just getting my 4187 signed (saying that I officially completed the course) and then having it put on my records.  I don't know how long this will take, but it's not really in my hands. My part is done.  All in all, I saved the army over $10.7 mil in direct savings and over another $34 mil in cost avoidance.  It feels good to be done.  Plus, I have helped another black belt candidate finish his project, my section NCOIC finish his green belt project, my NCO finish his green belt project and then as needed helped three other NCOs with their green belt projects (two of which I am pretty sure are complete).  So, not only am I glad to be done, I am also glad to be able to help others reach that finish line as well.

The incline
Physical: So, I got a chance to do a sort of practice PT test while I was traveling this past week.  I thought about fully taking my PT test there because the altitude is much lower, but I am glad I didn't.  I did do push ups and the run route though I didn't do sit ups because doing that seemed like a poor choice on the road.  I managed to max both, but I was sucking on the run.  I think the fact that it was much hotter and there was a lot of sand and dust in the air, coupled with the fact that I was running a route I never had before in the dark made me run about 30 seconds slower than I have been in Bagram.  But even still, I think if I had run it in the morning during day light, I still would have been struggling to breathe.  So I will take my APFT next week with everyone else.  I am pretty confident I will get a 300 again and am really happy with that.  The goal though is to make sure it sticks when I get back.  I have already been thinking about my workouts and I think I am going to make sure I incorporate the incline ( which I have never done before and my goal is to be able to walk straight up it without stopping, and once I can do that, then run it) and also yoga into my workouts.  I will be doing PT in the mornings with my unit, but I want to make sure I am hitting the gym during lunch.  But the other part is making sure I don't eat a bunch of crap.  Unfortunately, we are coming back at pretty much the best food time of the year and after eating DFAC food all the time (I had steak the other night and I know that wasn't cow meat), it will be all to easy to gorge myself.  So a strict workout routine will have to be on the menu as well.

Financial: I don't have any real new updates here except that I am sitting at about a 50% gain on my initial investment.  I have two stocks that are doing quite well and I intend to hold on to them awhile longer.  Part of me is debating holding on to them longer term since I have already had them a month and a half and they have only been doing well for me.  I don't think either of them has dipped below my original buy price since I first picked them up.  But we shall see what they do in the next couple of weeks.  I might just hold them through their next earnings reports if they are looking promising.  Kevin and I are also about to hit that fun time of year where we discuss next years budget and savings plan.  It'll be nice to start figuring out what we want to do over the next year or so and set some solid goals with regards to our house, car and family.

Emotional:  I am not really sure how to categorize this next part, so I am going to put it here.  Right now, it is looking very likely that I will be going to a new unit when I get back to Fort Carson.  I don't have a specific job locked in at this point, but there are a few possibilities and all of them would be very good for me.  I got my first look at my annual review yesterday (even though it isn't due until November) and things are looking very promising.  I have been performing very well and because of that, my leadership is looking at giving me the opportunity to change units when I get back.  I am excited to take on a new job and am really ready for the change. I look forward to experiencing something brand new.  But there is a lot of unknowns that come with that.  I obviously don't have the job position taken yet, and nothing is really a guarantee until you have it in hand (and with the Army, even that may not mean much).  So with that, I also don't know what the hours will be like.  But the unknown makes it exciting for me.  It's one of the things I love about the Army, I can never really get bored.  I get to change jobs every year or so, change locations every few years and get a lot of unique opportunities.  I am slowly realizing that I actually really enjoy being in the Army, and I am surprisingly good at it.  It seems odd that this job that I picked when I was twelve really has ended up being such a good fit for me.  And though I do not know what the future holds (I have already been offered a job on the civilian side that looks potentially very appealing), I can say that I hope that whatever I end up doing, I bring God glory.

Spiritual: So, to be honest, I have been lacking a bit here.  I have been struggling to motivate myself to read my bible.  Right now, I am in Ezekiel, where he talks about the temple.  And just like reading Numbers or Leviticus, I just struggle to stay motivated and keep reading.  And that is not good, because I am actually supposed to be reading twice a day and recently, I have only been reading once.  So, now that I am nearly packed and don't have a lot of work on my plate, I am going to buckle down and get myself caught back up to where I am supposed to be.  Thankfully, I have not been struggling in my prayer life the way I have in my reading.  I have still been praying nightly and as a quick update, am still praying for my friend who doesn't know the Lord.  It has been nearly 200 nights of praying for him and it doesn't seem like any progress has been made.  But, I am starting to wonder if this prayer is not for him, but for me.  Maybe this is one of those things God has called me to just to teach me diligence and self control.  I will continue to pray for him as this deployment nears its end, but I have come to terms with the fact that this, like many of my other prayers, is not mine to demand an answer to.  Like so many other times, I am learning that patience is precious and that demanding answers doesn't make them come any sooner, and most frequently, just makes me look foolish.  So I will just have to learn some patience and love.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Afghanistan: Number 20

Ok everyone, I know I have missed a couple of posts.  To put it shortly, the theme of my last couple of weeks is exhaustion.  I have never felt before like I do now and I cannot think of anything comparable to it.  All I can say is that when I get back home, I might just sleep for a whole week.  On, that note, I plan to keep this short and direct.  So here is post 20, week 25 (ish... I am not really sure anymore).

Financial:  So I currently own two stocks and both are doing well.  The one is sitting at about 10% gain and is climbing slightly.  The other, is near, if not over, 25% gained.  The latter actually climbed even higher than that recently and then fell slighting, but is climbing back up.  I am interested to see how high it is going to go. And don't intend to sell right away.

Mental:  So, not really much progress on my lean six sigma project, but I have been helping someone else out with theirs.  I am not really sure how I got dragged onto their team, but they got a short suspense and needed the help.  As difficult as it has been, I am glad to help out a friend and I know it helped relieve some of their burden, so I don't mind so much.  Though there have been moments when I wanted to gouge my eyes out after staring at powerpoint slide for days on end, I'd like to think I did some good.  And unfortunately, it isn't done yet.  But it is close. But for now, I am slowly starting to shift back to my own project.  I am hoping to knock out my measure and analyze phases in the next couple of days and our final exam is coming up in about a week.  It will be good when I can focus on my project and not have to worry about class anymore.

Emotional:  It has been crazy busy over here and I feel like I have been running 100 mph.  I am completely exhausted and feeling quite spent.  To put it lightly, I am feeling burnt out.  I have been traveling and working non-stop for probably close to two weeks on a mammoth project that was briefed to a two star general on Saturday.  Unfortunately, it isn't done yet either and so there is still more to do.  But with the brief, the work and the traveling, I just feel completely out of energy.  And when that gets tied in with the crazy drama my unit is currently experiencing (but that I cannot go into), it just leaves me feeling like I have been hit by a freight train.  I don't think I have ever been so tired before.  And the thing that helps me get through that is the people in my unit.  My friends and coworkers here have been such a relief to me.  Being able to sit and chat and joke and laugh in the midst of sheer exhaustion as been very comforting.  I cannot say that it makes the work load feel worth it, but it is definitely what gets me through.

Physical: This has fallen to the wayside during my traveling and working the last couple of weeks.  I am hoping to return to a more normal schedule now that I am back in Bagram, but we shall see.  I need to find a more consistent schedule and get my butt outside and run more.  On the up side, the weather is calming down and it is more pleasant to run.  On the down side, I am tired and don't feel like going.  I still am hoping to do the Army ten miler in October, but I need the pace in my life to slow down a bit first.

Spiritual: While I have maintained the ability to read my bible twice a day, this past couple of weeks has been destructive to my quiet times.  The long hours just nugging away in front of a computer took their toll and I am hoping that now that I am back in Bagram, I might be able to get some solid sleep and reset myself.  Unfortunately, I am feeling spiritually very weak, just like I do in every other area of my life right now.  I feel like I lack the emotional capacity to handle my exhaustion and that it is seeping into every area of my life.  I pray daily for strength and drive but I can hardly find it.  The worst part of my day is waking up and dragging myself out of bed. I'd love to end this with something witty or inspiring, but I have got nothing.  I am still here and feel like a balloon with a slow leak that is just about out.  We are going home in two months but I cannot give thought to anything past today without feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.  Hopefully, the next couple of weeks will slow down and I will find my strength renewed.  I have heard that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but I am now contemplating if it is possible to walk away without being hardened and changed. 

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Spiritual: Exegesis Regarding the Doctrine of Covenants- Part 3

My First Exegesis Regarding the Doctrine of Covenants: To Include the Covenant of Friendship- Part 3 of 3
By: Candice C. Farney

So what is a covenant friendship? Should we care?

Fifth covenant: Covenant between Friends
The last covenant I know of is one that I have never seen explored. Jonathan was the son of Saul; the first King of Israel.  Saul fell out of favor with the Lord and the Lord called Samuel to seek out David.  Saul became very jealous of David and made several attempts on David's life, with David escaping each time. At least twice, David proved to Saul that he had the opportunity to kill him but chose not because Saul had been anointed by God. During all this time, there is a back story between David and Jonathan. Jonathan is about to lose his kingdom to David and he doesn't care (1 Samuel 18:1-4, 1 Samuel 19:1, 1 Samuel 20:42, 1 Samuel 23:15-18).  Their story starts in 1 Samuel 18:1-4:

"As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.  And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father's house.  Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul.  And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt."
There are two very intense sayings here. The first is that their souls were knit together. The second was that Jonathan loved David as he did his own soul. And out of response to this love, Jonathan made a covenant to David. However, we see indications that this was not necessarily reciprocated by David. David did not reciprocate Jonathan's actions and might not have initially shared in Jonathan's love. So this initial covenant may have just been made by Jonathan to David and not both ways.  After David ran away from Saul, Jonathan volunteered his services to David. He told David that he would find out his father's plot against David and make it known to him. After Jonathan discovered that Saul intended to kill David and that David had done nothing wrong, Jonathan went to David. In 1 Samuel 20:41-42, we see their exchange;

"… David rose from beside the stone heap and fell on his face to the ground and bowed three times. And they kissed one another and wept with one another, David weeping the most. Then Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, because we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring, forever.’” And he rose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city."
There is no doubt that David reciprocated Jonathan’s love. Heck, he even wept the most. Plus, Jonathan affirms that they both were sworn to each other. This would seem to indicate that they made the covenant to each other, at least this time, if not before. There covenant was then reaffirmed in 1 Samuel 23:15-18,

"David saw that Saul had come out to seek his life. David was in the wilderness of Ziph at Horesh.  And Jonathan, Saul's son, rose and went to David at Horesh, and strengthened his hand in God.  And he said to him, “Do not fear, for the hand of Saul my father shall not find you. You shall be king over Israel, and I shall be next to you. Saul my father also knows this.”  And the two of them made a covenant before the Lord. David remained at Horesh, and Jonathan went home."

This may have been a reaffirming of their first covenant, or superseding it as they grew in love. We see here that not only are they dedicated to the protection of each other (demonstrated by the gesture of giving the other their weapon) and the livelihood of each other (demonstrated by the giving of the shirt off one’s back) but also the eternal dedication of even their offspring to each other. This is a very deep and intense love. After Jonathan dies in battle, in 2 Samuel 1 we see David fasting and weeping. He even says that Jonathan's love exceeds the love of women. Then in 2 Samuel 9 we see David giving Jonathan's son the same honor at his table that he gives to his own sons, despite the fact that Jonathan's son was a cripple. He restored his father's land and even gave him laborers to work the land for him. David loved Jonathan's son out of the abundance of love he had for Jonathan.   They expressed this love for each other through covenant and both were blessed by it.

What should a covenant friendship look like or mean?
The next question I had was what would a covenant friendship look like? What do I know about other covenants that could give me insight into this type? From here on out, these are mostly my extrapolations and thoughts on the matter. Consider it advice and let it weigh with that limited authority in your life. A covenant friendship is a commitment to love the other person more than you love yourself. Whatever you have that they need is available to them to include your time, money and resources. I am available to my husband all the time, for whatever he needs. Just as I try to be available to God at all times. I don't do this perfectly but I try to do better every day. This is the same way that we need to love anyone that we are in covenant with. This love is not conditional upon how we feel or our selfish desires. It is about being as unselfish as we can.

A covenant friendship is also a commitment to pray. You can love people best by lifting them up before the Lord in prayer and supplication. I pray intentionally at least twice a day for my husband, our marriage and also my relationship with God. It would then follow that if you covenant yourself with another you should commit yourself to pray for them at least daily. A covenant friendship is also a commitment to their family. You love their children with the same love and care that you show your own. This is how David did it, and as he was a man after God's own heart, this is our best example. Thus, you must be just as available to their family as you are to your own. A covenant friendship will have repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation. I am argumentative in nature. I enjoy a good argument. But many times I have to remind myself that I love my husband more than I love being right. In any moment of discord, I will stand back and evaluate every way that I can think that I have been unloving. It doesn't matter if my point was a good one or if I was right. I love the person more than the win. We have to be able to approach our covenanted friend with humility and be the first to ask forgiveness. It opens doors and creates more vulnerability and more room for love. A covenant friendship will probably contain a lot of the other parts of covenant that marriages typically take on such as: accountability, honesty, openness, sensitivity and confidentiality. Honestly, I think you have a lot of freedom to choose what the premises for this type of covenant should look like because we don't see a lot of structure in it. I would say model it as best you can after David and Jonathan and then add to it as you feel called.

There is one other suggestion that I would like to make. Don't cross gender lines. Again, I revert to all things being permissible, but not all things beneficial. I am not saying you couldn't make a covenant across gender lines outside of marriage, I just think this would probably cause more tension than good. This doesn't seem like the type of thing that is above reproach. When people see it they may not understand. I cannot imagine how I would have felt if I found out my husband was in a covenant with another girl before we got married. I definitely don't know how I would feel if he entered one now. If you feel called towards someone of the opposite sex, consider covenanting your families, after considering it and discussing it with your spouses.   If either spouse is uncomfortable with this then out of respect for that spouse, do not enter the covenant.  I have definitely had my share of moments where I am reminded that the spouse of a friend's opinions and feelings matter just as much, if not more, than your friends. You want to be a blessing to their marriage, not just to one of them individually. Thus, you need to love and respect both of them and their wishes.

In Conclusion

In conclusion, I do not think that the final three covenants discussed are required.  Actually, technically none of the covenants are required.  If they were, then you wouldn’t have a choice in the matter.  Salvation, however, hinges on our accepting the new covenant.  And through our faith and acceptance of it, God is glorified.  The marriage covenant is not required and even somewhat discouraged by Paul (1 Corinthians 7).  However, it can bring God much glory by way of putting on display Christ’s relationship with the church and showing the world the kind of sacrificial love that our Savior showed us.  Making a covenant with yourself not to sin is not required either.  We see only one example in the bible of someone doing this, and that is Job.  And after he proved his faithfulness and dedication to God, the Lord restored him to twice what he had before.  Covenants between nations are few and far between and are also not required.  But we do know that not keeping this type of covenant is going to result in God turning His face away from us on this earth.  And covenant friendship is not commanded by God.  But we do see Him blessing it.  Both Jonathan and David were blessed by each other and by God through the covenant they joined.  A covenant is really a commitment before God to keep His commands very intentionally towards another person, knowing that God will hold us accountable.  Covenants bring Him glory. Again, if they were mandatory, this would not be so.  God gives us the freedom to respond to His call to love by entering a covenant.   I encourage you to consider enter into any of these covenants, if you feel so called.  It is yet another chance to be obedient to God by loving others and bringing Him more glory.  Covenants are a means to love deeper and more intentionally by abiding in a closer commitment with the Lord.


To you Lord, be all glory, honor and praise.



For the full version, visit this link.


Here are some references that I read and that through. Feel free to do the same. http://www.padfield.com/2004/covenants.html http://www.cephasministry.com/water/bible_believers_god_made_three_covenants.html http://www.gotquestions.org/bible-covenants.html
http://www.messianicassociation.org/ezine17-af.covenants.htm
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Books,%20Tracts%20&%20Preaching/Printed%20Books/Dr%20Jack%20Hyles/Blue%20Denim%20and%20Lace/blue_denim_and_lace-chap_5.htm http://faithencounter.org/covenant.htm http://gracethrufaith.com/selah/eternal-security/the-covenant-relationship/

Friday, July 26, 2013

Spiritual: Exegesis Regarding the Doctrine of Covenants- Part 2

My First Exegesis Regarding the Doctrine of Covenants: To Include the Covenant of Friendship- Part 2 of 3
By: Candice C. Farney

What covenants are we most familiar with? What is revealed about these covenants?

First Covenant: God and man
When you Google "covenant" this is probably what is going to come up first. I say that because this was what came up first for me. There are many Christian and Jewish scholars that discuss the different covenants that God creates with men. Many theologians smarter than I have covered the topic and I would highly suggest you study some of those texts if you are interested. However, just because other's cover it, doesn't mean I won't. And honestly, there are a couple of points that I disagree with. Typically, commentators identify these are the major covenants between God and man: Edenic (Hosea 6:7), Adamic (Genesis 2-3), Noahic (Genesis 9), Abrahamic (Genesis 15), Aaronic (aka Priestly covenant from Numbers 25), Mosaic (Exodus 24), Davidic (2 Samuel 7) and the new covenant (Jeremiah 31:31-39 and Ephesians 1:11-14). This is not an exhaustive list.  But these are the most commonly identified covenants (though not all of them are called covenants specifically in the bible).  The only one I will cover in depth here is the covenant that each of us may enter into: the new covenant.

The new covenant- The new covenant first appears in the Old Testament when God reveals it as a promise to the Prophet Jeremiah (Jeremiah 31:31-39).  God tells Jeremiah that even though Israel turned from her husband, the Lord and breaks her portion of the covenant. As an aside, this metaphor is an interesting one and later is revealed in Ephesians 5 that Christ is the head of the church as a husband is the head of his wife. Keep this in mind as I will come back to it. However, God has remained faithful and continues to fulfill his end. Under the new covenant, the law will dwell within God's people and it will be written on their hearts. This seems to allude to the promised indwelling of the Holy Spirit. Even if it doesn't, remember that Christ said that the law is based on love. So when God says the law will dwell within us, He is literally saying that we will be indwelt with love for God and love for others. It is under this new covenant that Christians live. God describes a covenant that reaches to the ends of the earth and expands for the rest of time. But in the New Testament, we learn that there is one ‘way out’ of this covenant. There is one thing that cannot be forgiven and will break any covenant that one has with God. It is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit (Matthew 12:22-32 and Mark 12:22-30). These instances are specifically mentioned twice in the bible and both times are said from the mouth of Christ. I will not get into specifics on the subject because blasphemy against the Holy Spirit really deserves volumes with all the theories and implications in these verses. The important thing to know is that, because the result is losing salvation, it must break the covenant that should result in salvation.  For the purposes of the doctrines of covenant, it is just important to know that God does provide a way that this covenant can be broken. But we still see the purpose of entering the new covenant is to the praise of His glory in Ephesians 1:11-14.

Second Covenant: Husband and Wife
The second most talked about or referenced biblical covenant is the one of husband and wife. This covenant starts in the Garden of Eden itself. Genesis 2 provides our first definition of marriage, a man and woman that leave their families in order to create their own. We know that God intends this to be a covenant because He calls it that in Malachi 2:14. The covenant of marriage literally is the joining of two people into one person. Jesus says in Matthew 19:6 "So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let not man separate.” We see many conditions of the covenant of marriage given in the bible. Entering this covenant requires one man, one woman and God. It requires leaving the original family unit and making a new one together. It is not called to separate.

But, just like the new covenant, there is a ‘way out’ provided. Technically, there is one provided in the Old Testament and one provided in the New Testament. The first way to break the covenant of marriage is covered in Deuteronomy 24:1-4, Matthew 5:32 and Mark 10:4  saying that if one spouse commits adultery on the other it gives the non-adulterous spouse the right to offer a certificate of divorce and break the covenant. Now, to put it bluntly, God doesn't want to see divorce in any circumstance ("let not man separate!"). But God being a loving God understood that adultery is so painful to the faithful spouse that there heart would be hardened (Mark 10:5).  So God allows them a way out without the guilt being on their head. For my husband and I, we decided when we got married to supersede this covenant. We acknowledged that God doesn't want us to divorce in the worst of circumstances. That He can be brought glory even through adultery. So we decided that we will not divorce in the case of adultery. When we made our covenant, we said that the only case in which we would divorce is if one of us had a repeated sexual relationship with another person that we are not willing to give up. It doesn't matter if it is caught nor confessed. So long as the adulterous spouse is willing to give up the relationship and stay in the marriage, then we both will. We will live in love and forgiveness and we will stick around and figure it out to bring God glory. Because God is a God of healing and reconciliation, we trust that He would heal our marriage. Not that either of us has any worry about the other cheating. Because we know that our line for divorce is so far back, I can honestly say that we have more freedom in our marriage than pretty much any other we know. My husband and I can confess our every sin to the other and know that the other won't leave. Even more so, each of us is willing to have the other confess their sins to us and love each other and help each other through it. I have almost as much freedom in my covenant with my husband as I do in my covenant with Christ, which is fitting because the covenant of marriage is supposed to reflect the covenant Christ made with the church (Ephesians 5). It is the kind of love that casts out all fears and doubts (1 John 4:18).

Now, on the topic of divorce (or breaking the covenant of marriage), the Apostle Paul gives one other acceptable circumstance for divorce.  Paul says that if a believer is married to an unbeliever and the unbeliever leaves, then the believer is released from the covenant (1 Corinthians 7:12-16). Paul comes to this conclusion saying that an unbelieving spouse is made holy by their oneness with the believing spouse. Now, this is not saying that the unbelieving spouse is saved and Paul makes that clear in verse sixteen. The non-believing spouse is just entering a marriage and cannot be bound by the covenant because they cannot make one before a God in whom they do not believe. This is why Paul starts by saying the believer cannot leave. Is it going to be frustrating covenanting yourself to a person that has not covenanted themselves to you? Yes. Is it going to cause friction? Most likely. Does that give you license to leave? No. Why? Because you make them holy (1 Corinthians 7:14). This does not mean you tell your unbelieving spouse to leave you so that you can be free of your covenant. It just means that if they want to break their vow, then it will release you from the covenant.

On this note, there is one excuse that believers like to make to justify their divorce from a non-believing spouse. That God didn't want them to enter that marriage in the first place. This is the first of two times I will say this, covenant beats command. The reason Paul tells you that you cannot leave is because you entered a covenant that God didn't want you to enter in the first place. But let me back up. Multiple places in the bible give the same command; believers are called to marry other believers, not unbelievers. The bible talks about this in many terms; including being equally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14-18, Deuteronomy 7:3; Joshua 23:12; Ezra 9:2; Nehemiah 13:25; 1 Corinthians 7:39). The idea comes from farm work where you would yoke two oxen (or other large animals that would pull your plow) together and put them to the plow. You would want two of equal size and strength so that they both pull equally and at the same speed. If one was significantly weaker, it would pretty much be dragged by the stronger and could damage both animals in the end. In life, you want your partner to plow at the same speed as yourself. You don't want to be the strong one dragging the weaker one along until they quit and you don't want to be the weak one holding someone back; especially in their faith. It's about going in the same direction, at the same speed, neither pulling the other.  Instead walking along side each other, and sharing the weight of the load. So how does covenant beat this command? We have already been told that failing to obey God's command and marrying a non-believer does not give the believer the right to leave. The covenant you enter, even against God's command, you must honor because that still gives God more glory. This does not mean that God is required to bless you in your disobedience. It just means He gets more glory by your fulfilling your promise to Him and others in spite of your disobedience to His command.

Third Covenant: Covenant with the Oneself
The third covenant from the bible most commonly talked about comes from Job. The book of Job talks about Job’s faithfulness to God in a very hard to endure circumstance.  He was a man who had lost everything, but was still worshipping God. When a friend asked him what sin he had committed that would make God punish him, he answered that he hadn’t sinned at all.  And in explaining part of his righteousness in Job 31:1, Job tells us he made a covenant with his eyes to not look at any woman lustfully. This is a covenant of purity. This reveals knowledge that isn't again revealed until Jesus brings it up in Matthew 5:28, when He says that even looking at a woman lustfully means you have committed adultery. Job is merely trying to indicate that he knows he is blameless before the Lord but his covenant to himself for purity is an inspiration to many.  His example reveals that you can covenant with yourself before the Lord to not sin. This would be another way to love God and bring Him glory, by following His commands.  The problem is that most people don't have the intestinal fortitude to make this kind of intense commitment even if it is to free themselves from a sin they cannot escape. If you are taking your sin seriously and are truly ready to give it up, make a covenant with yourself before God to never do it again. Choose loving God and others over loving yourself and your sin.  This type of covenant may not be necessary for all types of sin, but it may be for you if there is a specific sin that you have been tempted by for years.  However, do not enter this covenant rashly.  You need to be very honest with yourself and if you are really ready to give up your sin and never turn back to it.  Because, again, if you make a covenant and you break it, it will not go well with you.

Fourth Covenant: Covenant between peoples/ tribes
The fourth covenant covers covenants between people groups or tribes. These types of covenants can be found in the Old Testament but there is one that stands out to me the most. It is found in Joshua 9. Joshua was leading Israel to the lands God promises after Moses died and Joshua was tricked into entering a covenant with the Gibeonites, a people God commanded them to destroy. After realizing this, Joshua made them forced laborers for Israel, but honored his covenant. Again, covenant overrides command. If it did not, we would have seen God rebuke the Israelites for allowing the Gibeonites to live, as He did whenever the Israelites did not fully fulfill His commands to destroy other tribes.  As a matter of fact, 2 Samuel 21 we see that years after Joshua died we learn that King Saul killed some of the Gibeonites. Though we do not know why, we do know that God punished Israel with a famine that lasted at least three years and passed the point of Saul's death. The reason I chose to focus on this covenant is that not only does it show covenant beating commandment, it shows how covenant transcends time. The original maker of the covenant was long since dead and the violator of the covenant had also died, but God still held the nation of Israel accountable through famine. And we already know that famine is one of the ways God says He will punish those that break a covenant. Even though God never wanted them to enter this covenant, He still expected them to honor it.

But how do we enter this type of covenant when we no longer have tribes and we are not diplomats that can tie our country's fate to another?  My thoughts on the best fulfilling of this type of covenant would be to create covenants between churches. As long as that church believes in the fundamental principles of the Gospel, then the small differences don't matter for the sake of covenant. By covenanting churches together, we not only learn to love each other better, but we can expand our reach to God's glory! Consider this: a church in the heart of a big city and a big church in the heart of a suburb. The church in the suburb probably has a lot more money (and is likely wasting some of it on the finer things it does not need) and the church in the city has a big mission. By partnering these churches, you can extend the reach of both.  You partner in saying neither church will let the other die but both churches will receive what they need to preach the Gospel. The big church might seem like it is helping the small church more, but really, both would be a blessing to each other. In seeing the Gospel spread and the word alive, the suburban church will grow and be blessed. They actually receive more by being a part of a Gospel that grows. Churches should be looking for new methods to expand their Gospel reach and I think partnering with other churches would be a perfect way to do that. Aside from giving monetary support, each of the churches should find ways to serve the other instead of their own and partner together in love.


For the full version, visit this link.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Spiritual: Exegesis Regarding the Doctrine of Covenants- Part 1


My First Exegesis Regarding the Doctrine of Covenants: To Include the Covenant of Friendship- Part 1 of 3
By: Candice C. Farney

The Back Story:

So recently in my readings of the Old Testament, I came across a passage I am sure I had read before but that struck me in a new way. The other day, I was reading 1 Samuel and the story of David and Saul when I picked up on something that before, I must have just read over. It was regarding the relationship between Jonathan and David. Specifically, I was reading 1 Samuel 18:1-4, 1 Samuel 19:1, and 1 Samuel 20:42. These passages talk about Jonathan loving David as himself and the two making a covenant between each other. Now, I have read of many covenants in the bible, two greater known (between God and man and between a husband and wife) and two lesser known or focused on (covenants between tribes/ people and covenants with ourselves) but I had never seen this kind of covenant between two people outside of marriage.

Please note: these are just my thoughts and extrapolations.  I include as many scripture references as I can think of to explain my thoughts.  Anything that comes from scripture is authoritative; my recommendations are not.  I encourage you to consider all of these things and weigh them against what you know.  If something makes sense to you, then use it.  If it doesn’t or you disagree, don’t heed it.  Again, these are just my interpretations and should be considered as such.

What is covenant and why does it matter?
First, we must understand the definition of covenant. Covenant derives originally from the word "to cut." We know that people use to cut a calf in two and walk between the parts (see Genesis 15:7-17 and Jeremiah 34:17-19) Covenant is created and recorded by God. To put it mildly, it is a promise to God that you are bound to keep for all of time. It is defined by God because it is created and held by God. The gist is that it is a promise to love another more than ourselves; to be willing to lay down your life emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally, financially, etc. for another person or group of people. It is a willingness to completely put another's life ahead of yours. We are called to this regardless. It is commanded by Jesus to "And he said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.'" (Matthew 22:34-40) Jesus did this by dying on the cross for the sins of all mankind regardless of the world loving Him. We are called to love with this same kind of sacrificial love. Some may disagree that covenant is about this kind of sacrificial love.  However, all I can say is that if Jesus says all of the laws of the Old Testament are dependent upon these two commandments then the laws regarding covenant must depend on this love as well.

So you may ask what makes a covenant different than just loving others. Covenant is an eternally bound oath before the Lord, and that is quite a commitment. There isn't a way out of it unless predetermined by God in the bible.  You cannot go back on a covenant but you can supersede it by taking the bounds a step further.

Aside from covenants, there are also oaths and vows. Covenants, once entered into, have no contingencies. There is never a point you are released from it. They are binding and they transcend time because God transcends time. Unless there is a prescribed way, given by God, that releases you from that covenant, it will continue. Vows and oaths are, for all intents and purposes, the same thing. If there is a difference, it seems miniscule at best. Vows and oaths are promises made to the Lord but are contingent upon the fulfillment of something; usually either an event or time. In the bible, we see people vowing to the Lord that if He would give them something then they will return it to Him in the form of an offering. We see vows of curses for those that break a fast. We see a man vow up to half his kingdom to a dancing girl that leads to the death of John the Baptist. And we see Jewish leaders vowing not to eat until they kill Paul, which, unless they broke their vow, means they died of starvation (Judges 11:30-3, 1 Samuel 14:24 Mark 6:23, Acts 23:12). There is also a biblical example of a vow that is for a period of time. It is the Nazirite vow where you cannot shave your head, be near a dead body (even if it is a close member of your family), nor drink any fermented drink nor eat grapes. This was usually done for a specific and measurable period of time (Numbers 6:1-21).

Up until this point it may seem like covenants, vows and oaths are all the same thing.  The reason that I argue that these things are different is in the way God describes the consequences for breaking any one of these. This shows a different level of importance between these that makes for a very wide chasm. When it comes to vows and oaths, God wants us to fulfill the vow in haste or the consequence is that you are guilty of sin (Deuteronomy 23:21, Ecclesiastes 5:4, Numbers 30:1-3). Now under Jewish laws, being guilty of sin would likely result in a period of uncleanliness, being unable to participate in certain religious ceremonies and definitely a sin offering. There is no impression given that this reaches a level of severity that it will separate you from God beyond the usual realm of every other sin.

When observing the examples of covenant breaking in the bible, one will find a vengeful God. He does not take it lightly. For instance, there will be panic, diseases that destroy the body and pain the heart and eyes, famine (which probably means there will be death in the land), God will set His face against you (literally being on God's bad side), your enemies will overtake you and overpower you, you will experience God's discipline and you will toil in pain with no fruit born (Leviticus 26:14-36). Elsewhere, we see the additions of God's anger being kindled again the covenant breaker, being forsaken by God; you will be devoured by many evils and troubles that will definitely come (Deuteronomy 31:16-18). To put it lightly, there are many grave consequences. This seems extreme compared to those considered guilty of sin. We know that the penalty for sin is death (Romans 6:23).  Everyone lives in that penalty since Genesis 3 and everyone’s earthly body will eventually perish and become dust.  The difference that we are talking about is the quality of life.  The punishments for breaking covenant are more severe for this life.  Instead of separation from God in eternity, you will experience separation from God here on earth.  Life is not going to go well for you, because the Lord will not be with you.   

On top of that, even when you break the covenant, you are still bound to it unless there is a circumstance where God releases you from it. Just like when Israel turns her back on the Lord time and time again in the Old Testament, the covenant is never dissolved. Basically, there are times when they are living under the terms of the covenant and there are times when they are not. When they aren't, God deals with them accordingly. When they are, God blesses them abundantly. It is not once broken, always broken. And at the same time you cannot break it, even for a time, without punishment.

How does covenant reveal God's glory? Why would I consider entering a covenant?
After understanding how God views covenant, it is hard to understand why one would enter one if they could avoid it. Now obviously, we want to accept God's covenant with us and we also are willing to enter marriage as we are called (go forth, be fruitful and multiply right?!) but after that, most people seem to ignore other covenants. We abide in these two covenants, reap their blessings and say that's enough. But if we want to love God as we are called, we must keep His commandments. 1 John 5:3 says "For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome." And we know that God's love is glorious (Psalm 115:1). When we dwell in this love, we experience a piece of God's glory (1 Peter 1:8-9). Thus, it follows that the more we obey these two commandments by loving both God and man, the more we experience and share God's glory.

Now, God loves us through covenant.   And then He calls us to love each other as He has loved us (Ephesians 5:2).  Thus, it follows that one way for us to show our love is through covenant.  Experiencing God's love is experiencing His glory. Sharing God's love with others is sharing God's glory. And the more we share less of ourselves and more of God, the more He is glorified. We know the promise of John 3:16. That God so loved the world that He gave His only son, so that we will have eternal life (yes, I paraphrased). So we rest in this assurance. But the assurance of our salvation stems from God's love, expressed through the new covenant through Christ, to God’s glory. As Christians, we know what we have been saved from, and we know why. It is very simple. God loved us. God loves us so much that He wants us to share in His glory for the rest of eternity!

Covenant is a step of faith. It is answering God's commandment to love in such a way that we are willing to be called into greater accountability. Accountability is the difference. Entering into a covenant with others tells God that we are taking His commandments very seriously. We step out in faith to grow in our knowledge and understanding of love. We put ourselves in the same situation God has put Himself in with us. We are promising to God that regardless of how the other person responds or acts, we are going to love them. It expands our ability to love as we better understand how God has loved us and thus, we experience even more of His glory. As we commit to loving others more than ourselves, we find ourselves shedding the selfishness of the world and taking on a more holy calling. Covenant is not the only way to love people as God commanded but it is a way to love them with a higher calling and greater accountability to the glory of God.   Christ didn’t need the new covenant to die on a cross for us; it is out of His love for us that He offers us this covenant for our benefit.  The covenant, like all covenants, is merely a means to love deeper and closer.  It is love with a commitment. 


For the full version, visit this link.