My First Exegesis Regarding the Doctrine of Covenants: To Include the Covenant of Friendship- Part 3 of 3
By: Candice C. Farney
So what is a covenant friendship? Should we care?
Fifth covenant: Covenant between Friends
The last covenant I know of is one that I have never seen explored. Jonathan was the son of Saul; the first King of Israel. Saul fell out of favor with the Lord and the Lord called Samuel to seek out David. Saul became very jealous of David and made several attempts on David's life, with David escaping each time. At least twice, David proved to Saul that he had the opportunity to kill him but chose not because Saul had been anointed by God. During all this time, there is a back story between David and Jonathan. Jonathan is about to lose his kingdom to David and he doesn't care (1 Samuel 18:1-4, 1 Samuel 19:1, 1 Samuel 20:42, 1 Samuel 23:15-18). Their story starts in 1 Samuel 18:1-4:
There are two very intense sayings here. The first is that
their souls were knit together. The second was that Jonathan loved David as he
did his own soul. And out of response to this love, Jonathan made a covenant to
David. However, we see indications that this was not necessarily reciprocated
by David. David did not reciprocate Jonathan's actions and might not have
initially shared in Jonathan's love. So this initial covenant may have just
been made by Jonathan to David and not both ways. After David ran away from Saul, Jonathan
volunteered his services to David. He told David that he would find out his
father's plot against David and make it known to him. After Jonathan discovered
that Saul intended to kill David and that David had done nothing wrong, Jonathan
went to David. In 1 Samuel 20:41-42, we see their exchange;
There is no
doubt that David reciprocated Jonathan’s love. Heck, he even wept the most.
Plus, Jonathan affirms that they both were sworn to each other. This would seem
to indicate that they made the covenant to each other, at least this time, if not
before. There covenant was then reaffirmed in 1 Samuel 23:15-18,
This may have been a reaffirming of their first covenant, or superseding it as they grew in love. We see here that not only are they dedicated to the protection of each other (demonstrated by the gesture of giving the other their weapon) and the livelihood of each other (demonstrated by the giving of the shirt off one’s back) but also the eternal dedication of even their offspring to each other. This is a very deep and intense love. After Jonathan dies in battle, in 2 Samuel 1 we see David fasting and weeping. He even says that Jonathan's love exceeds the love of women. Then in 2 Samuel 9 we see David giving Jonathan's son the same honor at his table that he gives to his own sons, despite the fact that Jonathan's son was a cripple. He restored his father's land and even gave him laborers to work the land for him. David loved Jonathan's son out of the abundance of love he had for Jonathan. They expressed this love for each other through covenant and both were blessed by it.
What should a covenant friendship look like or mean?
The next question I had was what would a covenant friendship look like? What do I know about other covenants that could give me insight into this type? From here on out, these are mostly my extrapolations and thoughts on the matter. Consider it advice and let it weigh with that limited authority in your life. A covenant friendship is a commitment to love the other person more than you love yourself. Whatever you have that they need is available to them to include your time, money and resources. I am available to my husband all the time, for whatever he needs. Just as I try to be available to God at all times. I don't do this perfectly but I try to do better every day. This is the same way that we need to love anyone that we are in covenant with. This love is not conditional upon how we feel or our selfish desires. It is about being as unselfish as we can.
A covenant friendship is also a commitment to pray. You can love people best by lifting them up before the Lord in prayer and supplication. I pray intentionally at least twice a day for my husband, our marriage and also my relationship with God. It would then follow that if you covenant yourself with another you should commit yourself to pray for them at least daily. A covenant friendship is also a commitment to their family. You love their children with the same love and care that you show your own. This is how David did it, and as he was a man after God's own heart, this is our best example. Thus, you must be just as available to their family as you are to your own. A covenant friendship will have repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation. I am argumentative in nature. I enjoy a good argument. But many times I have to remind myself that I love my husband more than I love being right. In any moment of discord, I will stand back and evaluate every way that I can think that I have been unloving. It doesn't matter if my point was a good one or if I was right. I love the person more than the win. We have to be able to approach our covenanted friend with humility and be the first to ask forgiveness. It opens doors and creates more vulnerability and more room for love. A covenant friendship will probably contain a lot of the other parts of covenant that marriages typically take on such as: accountability, honesty, openness, sensitivity and confidentiality. Honestly, I think you have a lot of freedom to choose what the premises for this type of covenant should look like because we don't see a lot of structure in it. I would say model it as best you can after David and Jonathan and then add to it as you feel called.
There is one other suggestion that I would like to make. Don't cross gender lines. Again, I revert to all things being permissible, but not all things beneficial. I am not saying you couldn't make a covenant across gender lines outside of marriage, I just think this would probably cause more tension than good. This doesn't seem like the type of thing that is above reproach. When people see it they may not understand. I cannot imagine how I would have felt if I found out my husband was in a covenant with another girl before we got married. I definitely don't know how I would feel if he entered one now. If you feel called towards someone of the opposite sex, consider covenanting your families, after considering it and discussing it with your spouses. If either spouse is uncomfortable with this then out of respect for that spouse, do not enter the covenant. I have definitely had my share of moments where I am reminded that the spouse of a friend's opinions and feelings matter just as much, if not more, than your friends. You want to be a blessing to their marriage, not just to one of them individually. Thus, you need to love and respect both of them and their wishes.
In Conclusion
In conclusion, I do not think that the final three covenants discussed are required. Actually, technically none of the covenants are required. If they were, then you wouldn’t have a choice in the matter. Salvation, however, hinges on our accepting the new covenant. And through our faith and acceptance of it, God is glorified. The marriage covenant is not required and even somewhat discouraged by Paul (1 Corinthians 7). However, it can bring God much glory by way of putting on display Christ’s relationship with the church and showing the world the kind of sacrificial love that our Savior showed us. Making a covenant with yourself not to sin is not required either. We see only one example in the bible of someone doing this, and that is Job. And after he proved his faithfulness and dedication to God, the Lord restored him to twice what he had before. Covenants between nations are few and far between and are also not required. But we do know that not keeping this type of covenant is going to result in God turning His face away from us on this earth. And covenant friendship is not commanded by God. But we do see Him blessing it. Both Jonathan and David were blessed by each other and by God through the covenant they joined. A covenant is really a commitment before God to keep His commands very intentionally towards another person, knowing that God will hold us accountable. Covenants bring Him glory. Again, if they were mandatory, this would not be so. God gives us the freedom to respond to His call to love by entering a covenant. I encourage you to consider enter into any of these covenants, if you feel so called. It is yet another chance to be obedient to God by loving others and bringing Him more glory. Covenants are a means to love deeper and more intentionally by abiding in a closer commitment with the Lord.
To you Lord, be all glory, honor and praise.
For the full version, visit this link.
Here are some references that I read and that through. Feel free to do the same. http://www.padfield.com/2004/covenants.html http://www.cephasministry.com/water/bible_believers_god_made_three_covenants.html http://www.gotquestions.org/bible-covenants.html
http://www.messianicassociation.org/ezine17-af.covenants.htm
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Books,%20Tracts%20&%20Preaching/Printed%20Books/Dr%20Jack%20Hyles/Blue%20Denim%20and%20Lace/blue_denim_and_lace-chap_5.htm http://faithencounter.org/covenant.htm http://gracethrufaith.com/selah/eternal-security/the-covenant-relationship/
By: Candice C. Farney
So what is a covenant friendship? Should we care?
Fifth covenant: Covenant between Friends
The last covenant I know of is one that I have never seen explored. Jonathan was the son of Saul; the first King of Israel. Saul fell out of favor with the Lord and the Lord called Samuel to seek out David. Saul became very jealous of David and made several attempts on David's life, with David escaping each time. At least twice, David proved to Saul that he had the opportunity to kill him but chose not because Saul had been anointed by God. During all this time, there is a back story between David and Jonathan. Jonathan is about to lose his kingdom to David and he doesn't care (1 Samuel 18:1-4, 1 Samuel 19:1, 1 Samuel 20:42, 1 Samuel 23:15-18). Their story starts in 1 Samuel 18:1-4:
"As soon as he
had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of
David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would not
let him return to his father's house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with
David, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the
robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword
and his bow and his belt."
"…
David rose from beside the stone heap and fell on his face to the ground and
bowed three times. And they kissed one another and wept with one another, David
weeping the most. Then Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, because we have
sworn both of us in the name of the Lord,
saying, ‘The Lord shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and
your offspring, forever.’” And he rose and departed, and Jonathan went into the
city."
"David
saw that Saul had come out to seek his life. David was in the wilderness of
Ziph at Horesh. And Jonathan,
Saul's son, rose and went to David at Horesh, and strengthened his hand in God.
And he said to him, “Do not
fear, for the hand of Saul my father shall not find you. You shall be king over
Israel, and I shall be next to you. Saul my father also knows this.” And the two of them made a covenant
before the Lord. David remained at Horesh, and Jonathan went home."
This may have been a reaffirming of their first covenant, or superseding it as they grew in love. We see here that not only are they dedicated to the protection of each other (demonstrated by the gesture of giving the other their weapon) and the livelihood of each other (demonstrated by the giving of the shirt off one’s back) but also the eternal dedication of even their offspring to each other. This is a very deep and intense love. After Jonathan dies in battle, in 2 Samuel 1 we see David fasting and weeping. He even says that Jonathan's love exceeds the love of women. Then in 2 Samuel 9 we see David giving Jonathan's son the same honor at his table that he gives to his own sons, despite the fact that Jonathan's son was a cripple. He restored his father's land and even gave him laborers to work the land for him. David loved Jonathan's son out of the abundance of love he had for Jonathan. They expressed this love for each other through covenant and both were blessed by it.
What should a covenant friendship look like or mean?
The next question I had was what would a covenant friendship look like? What do I know about other covenants that could give me insight into this type? From here on out, these are mostly my extrapolations and thoughts on the matter. Consider it advice and let it weigh with that limited authority in your life. A covenant friendship is a commitment to love the other person more than you love yourself. Whatever you have that they need is available to them to include your time, money and resources. I am available to my husband all the time, for whatever he needs. Just as I try to be available to God at all times. I don't do this perfectly but I try to do better every day. This is the same way that we need to love anyone that we are in covenant with. This love is not conditional upon how we feel or our selfish desires. It is about being as unselfish as we can.
A covenant friendship is also a commitment to pray. You can love people best by lifting them up before the Lord in prayer and supplication. I pray intentionally at least twice a day for my husband, our marriage and also my relationship with God. It would then follow that if you covenant yourself with another you should commit yourself to pray for them at least daily. A covenant friendship is also a commitment to their family. You love their children with the same love and care that you show your own. This is how David did it, and as he was a man after God's own heart, this is our best example. Thus, you must be just as available to their family as you are to your own. A covenant friendship will have repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation. I am argumentative in nature. I enjoy a good argument. But many times I have to remind myself that I love my husband more than I love being right. In any moment of discord, I will stand back and evaluate every way that I can think that I have been unloving. It doesn't matter if my point was a good one or if I was right. I love the person more than the win. We have to be able to approach our covenanted friend with humility and be the first to ask forgiveness. It opens doors and creates more vulnerability and more room for love. A covenant friendship will probably contain a lot of the other parts of covenant that marriages typically take on such as: accountability, honesty, openness, sensitivity and confidentiality. Honestly, I think you have a lot of freedom to choose what the premises for this type of covenant should look like because we don't see a lot of structure in it. I would say model it as best you can after David and Jonathan and then add to it as you feel called.
There is one other suggestion that I would like to make. Don't cross gender lines. Again, I revert to all things being permissible, but not all things beneficial. I am not saying you couldn't make a covenant across gender lines outside of marriage, I just think this would probably cause more tension than good. This doesn't seem like the type of thing that is above reproach. When people see it they may not understand. I cannot imagine how I would have felt if I found out my husband was in a covenant with another girl before we got married. I definitely don't know how I would feel if he entered one now. If you feel called towards someone of the opposite sex, consider covenanting your families, after considering it and discussing it with your spouses. If either spouse is uncomfortable with this then out of respect for that spouse, do not enter the covenant. I have definitely had my share of moments where I am reminded that the spouse of a friend's opinions and feelings matter just as much, if not more, than your friends. You want to be a blessing to their marriage, not just to one of them individually. Thus, you need to love and respect both of them and their wishes.
In Conclusion
In conclusion, I do not think that the final three covenants discussed are required. Actually, technically none of the covenants are required. If they were, then you wouldn’t have a choice in the matter. Salvation, however, hinges on our accepting the new covenant. And through our faith and acceptance of it, God is glorified. The marriage covenant is not required and even somewhat discouraged by Paul (1 Corinthians 7). However, it can bring God much glory by way of putting on display Christ’s relationship with the church and showing the world the kind of sacrificial love that our Savior showed us. Making a covenant with yourself not to sin is not required either. We see only one example in the bible of someone doing this, and that is Job. And after he proved his faithfulness and dedication to God, the Lord restored him to twice what he had before. Covenants between nations are few and far between and are also not required. But we do know that not keeping this type of covenant is going to result in God turning His face away from us on this earth. And covenant friendship is not commanded by God. But we do see Him blessing it. Both Jonathan and David were blessed by each other and by God through the covenant they joined. A covenant is really a commitment before God to keep His commands very intentionally towards another person, knowing that God will hold us accountable. Covenants bring Him glory. Again, if they were mandatory, this would not be so. God gives us the freedom to respond to His call to love by entering a covenant. I encourage you to consider enter into any of these covenants, if you feel so called. It is yet another chance to be obedient to God by loving others and bringing Him more glory. Covenants are a means to love deeper and more intentionally by abiding in a closer commitment with the Lord.
To you Lord, be all glory, honor and praise.
For the full version, visit this link.
Here are some references that I read and that through. Feel free to do the same. http://www.padfield.com/2004/covenants.html http://www.cephasministry.com/water/bible_believers_god_made_three_covenants.html http://www.gotquestions.org/bible-covenants.html
http://www.messianicassociation.org/ezine17-af.covenants.htm
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Books,%20Tracts%20&%20Preaching/Printed%20Books/Dr%20Jack%20Hyles/Blue%20Denim%20and%20Lace/blue_denim_and_lace-chap_5.htm http://faithencounter.org/covenant.htm http://gracethrufaith.com/selah/eternal-security/the-covenant-relationship/
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