Afghanistan Number 21

Alright everyone, I know I have been slacking and haven't posted in about a month, but now that things have calmed down a lot, I am ready to get back to it.  This last month has been pretty crazy.  I have been traveling, working out in one of our yards doing some manual labor, spending time with great people and have awesome conversation with my husband.  The last month of so has been drastically life altering, but also very fast paced.  I have no idea how many weeks I have been here now, but I can tell you I have about six weeks left! So here we go!

Physical: Ok, so this one is disappointing. I missed the Army ten-miler here in Bagram.  It was actually this morning, but I didn't know until 1500  yesterday afternoon (not enough time to recover and hydrate properly).  Plus, I ended up getting a killer headache last night.  So that little nugget has fallen through.  I have been working longer hours again, which was sacrificing my PT time by a lot.  So I made a new routine.  Now, instead of trying to go in the morning or evening, I go in the middle of the afternoon when I have down time.  I think I am going to try to keep this up when I get back to Fort Carson by going to the gym during lunch.  Before I left, I would travel back and forth from home multiple times a day.  To help save on our budget (updated financial goals), we are looking for ways to cut out the little things and this is definitely one of them.  Plus, it has the added benefit of me getting a good workout in during lunch. I have a PT test in a few weeks as well, and my goal is to get another 300 before going back home and eating really yummy food again.  But we will see how it all falls.

Our new 2014 Ford Escape!

Financial: My stocks are doing really well.  I am currently holding two of them that have provided some good gains for me.  Both are kind of plateaued, but they plateaued high enough that I am just keep them.  Right now, I have basically made 50% return on my initial investment.  I could definitely see myself doing this some more, but I haven't had a ton of time to devote to it.  I need to start looking at some potential new buys before the next set or quarterly earnings comes out.  Aside from that, Kevin and I have made some new financial goals.  We just bought our first car together (a 2014 Ford Escape Titanium, which we love!) and have decided we will probably not be moving again next year.  There are several factors going into that decision (like the new car!), but also the fact that I haven't really got to live in my house (or any place) for very long and I would like to take the time to start a garden, redo gutters, redo cabinets, plant some bushes and so on and so forth.  And I don't want to be rushing to do that before next spring.  So Kevin and I have decided to just say in the house we are in and try to get that paid off as quickly as possible.  We are also looking at ways to reduce our budgets.  Aside from trying to drive less, we are also looking at ways we can keep costs down and try to basically live on one income, with the other completely providing discretion to pay extra off the house and do projects and vacations and things.  Basically, we want one income to frame our spending and the other income to frame our saving in such a way that we can give money away, invest and just have fun. 

Our new garden window!

Mental: I finished my Lean Six Sigma project!!! Can you believe it?!  I ultimately reduced my standard deviation (Six sigma) and shifted my mean (lean).  It is now being submitted, and once that is done, I will have a DA 4187 with my skill identifier saying I am a certified black belt for the Army.  Now I just need to pull my project off my computer so that I will have it and all of my reference materials and I am done!!!!  Aside from that, I have been playing more with Microsoft excel and even with macros.  I think I might keep studying excel a bit because I am learning some really interesting things.  I am also going to try to spend the winter reading up on building my first green house and learning some fun gardening tips and tricks.  I think the fact that I haven't seen much green here has given me a very strong desire to decorate my house with lively plants.  I also have a desire to do some manual labor (building cabinets and trying to do gutters and small projects ourselves) after spending the last 7+ months sitting behind a computer.  I really enjoying working with my hands and haven't gotten to do enough of it here.  Plus, I enjoy working on our home.  Kevin has had a new garden window installed and we are having work done on our patio in the next couple of weeks.  I can't wait to get home and join him.  And I look forward to starting new projects and learning new crafts!

Emotional: So this one has been going pretty well.  I think Kevin and I have been connecting so much better as we have started discussing our plans for the next year or so.  Truth be told, earlier in the month, we were in a rather depressing rut and neither of us could really tell why.  I think Kevin just didn't like the sound of two more months and truthfully, I was starting to feel overwhelmed by the idea of making decisions again.  There are limitless possibilities for the future and what is coming next that I felt kind of overwhelmed by the idea of preparing to face it.  But as Kevin and I started moving forward (Kevin got our new garden window installed on the house and is having the patio done next month), things started getting easier.  That's why we decided to by the car (which we are so excited about) and start making plans for what the next year holds.  And things are really starting to come together.  Kevin is loving his job and I am loving mine.  And though there are definitely no concrete plans right now, there is a pretty good likelihood that I might stay in the Army for longer than my contract.  We have a lot to figure out on that path, but we have decided to wait until I get home and see how I am feeling six months from now before making too many decisions.  For right now, we are both giving up control of a lot that we like to hold on to just to imagine the world of possibilities.  We have decided that both of us are going to stop worrying about what we "should" or "shouldn't" do and start focusing on loving God, loving each other and loving others and living a life that is going to bring him the most glory.

Spiritual: Well, obviously this one is tied to my current emotional state as well.  Basically, the idea of giving up control of what I want versus what I think I should want has been very relieving.  Telling Kevin that I might want to stay in the Army was very difficult, but mostly because of the church, not because of Jesus.  I feel like within Christianity, we tend to limit the roles for women into what we see as best for her family or manageable.  Telling women I am in the Army is usually stomached in the same manner as me saying I'm sick or I have cancer.  They want to tell me that's horrible (and some do) and that they can't wait for me to get out.  Even my most well intended friends ask me about deploying and having kids to just get out of it.  It is inconceivable to them that I love this.  It's even crazier to them that I am really good at it.  But I let myself fall in that box too.  I told myself I couldn't stay in and be a good wife and mother.  Every day, I think that is less and less true.  Would there be hard parts? Yes. Is moving around all the time easy? No.  But would my kids and husband get to experience things that others might never get to? Yes.  Can we use it as the opportunity to bring our family closer together? Yes.  But most importantly, does it bring more glory to God to live the life he first put on my heart as a twelve year old girl and has reaffirmed many times since? Does it bring more glory to God for me to live my life in such a way that it ties together the unique characteristics God decided to ordain me with?  And does it bring God more glory when I live out the things that interest me and help them to grow and develop my family?  It might seem simple to just say yes and move on, but I am spending time with these questions.  I am leaning more towards them than I am away.  I am breaking down my own religious rules and trying to find the truth in the center of the Gospel.  I am done telling Christ how Christians are supposed to live.  When I look at biblical women, I see women who work and serve.  Ruth was a laborer, Esther was into politics and the proverbs 31 woman ran a very successful business (and all in the Old Testament too!).  Maybe my primary job can be wife and mother even if I don't spend all my time doing those things from home.  I don't know.  We have a lot of exploring to do, but I figured I would share with you where we have explored to thus far.

Wife: Our Engagement Story

So, today is my four year engagement anniversary.  Now, I am not normally a sappy person, but I figured it might be fun instead of doing my normal post this week, to share with you guys the story of how Kevin proposed to me.  Below, you can read our version of the events, each from our own perspective written the next day.  I have not edited this story since August 14, 2009.  And for the record, my husband forever set the standards high!

Our Story

Engagement Night

Her perspective

So, I guess the story kind of begins this past Sunday when Kevin got back from Jamaica after his mission's trip. He said this Thursday was special, or something of that sort. Thursday was in fact our 11 monthiversary (as Kevin called it) but we hadn't really celebrated any other month. So at that point I kind of got suspicious. But at the same time, it was a Thursday night and we both had to work the next day and Kevin's best friend was going to be in town one night only, so I wasn't really counting on it at all. That day, Kevin and I emailed each other throughout work about our evening plans. Kevin planned the whole evening and didn't tell me anything about it. He made some offhanded comment about possibly having    reservations and maybe he'd bring me flowers. At that point, I became more suspicious, but had decided that maybe if he showed up at my door with flowers, I would let myself dare to hope. He did in fact show up at my door with flowers. There were two of them that he had picked outside his work 2 hours prior. They were dead. My hope was pretty much dead as well. The we walked into the kitchen where my Dad was. I knew that Kevin had told all of my parents the night he intended to propose. My Dad was also leading Amplify (our church's adult singles bible study) later that evening, which Kevin usually attends. My Dad turned to Kevin and said "I see you are not going to amplify tonight, loser!" And I immediately thought, "Well, Dad didn't know Kevin was skipping amplify... can't be tonight." We leave the house and Kevin says that he did in fact make dinner reservations, however they were not until later (slightly to my disappointment since I was starving) and that he wanted to show me something first. He took me up to Grand View Drive to a beautiful spot where you can see the Illinois River for miles. Before we got out of the car he said he had a story to tell me and I had to listen to the whole thing. We went and sat on the bench and we opened up this journal he had written for me from "my perspective" over the course of the summer. See, I worked as a camp counselor and I had decided early on that I wouldn't keep a journal over the summer, even though I wanted to, since I wouldn't have time. Kevin decided that he would keep one for me. So every day this summer, he wrote down the high lights and even some of the low spots from this summer. Some of the stuff, I never thought, nor would I have ever said. But he added his colorful embellishments to make me smile. Other times, he wrote down exactly what I had thought and said; in fact, there were times I interjected with my thoughts and he would read the next line and it would be verbatim. And every week this summer, Kevin sent me a one page long poem in the
mail. I thought that they were just individual poems to brighten my week. He included them in this journal he had made. And when he got to August 13th, he actually wrote down all of the things that were going to happen that day. He included in this portion of "my writing" that I finally realized it was in fact, one big poem, and not several smaller ones. He then read them all together and came to the spot where I had thought it ended. At this point, he said, "I have written more." All throughout the poem, he spoke of how much he loved and wanted to marry me. And these last few verses were no different. He stood up and by that point, I had pretty much checked out. By the end of the poem, he
had fumbled around, pulled out the ring shakily, was down on one knee, and for the last line said, "Candice Carnahan, will you marry me?" At this point, without even seeing the ring, I said "yes." I don't actually remember this but Kevin told me what I said, because I had completely checked out and was totally floored. I hugged him. And then actually looked at the beautiful ring and put it on. And as we were leaving, he kissed me for the first time ever, and called me his fiancee. I was, at this point, completely floored. I had no clue what to think or say. In fact, I almost ran into his car I was so floored. I have since found out that this poem was broken up into different parts. Each part focused on some attribute of myself that Kevin adores. He focused each part on how it relates to our marriage and what it will bring to it. I never got the hint at all and never realized it until he showed me all of the poems with each poem labeled with its focus the next day.
Then we went to this beautiful restaurant in Peoria Heights called Seven. We walked in the door and Kevin turned to the manager and said, "I believe you have reservations for me." He never gave his name or anything. And then the guy just said of course and took us back to this booth. As we were walking up to it, I saw a little present sized bag on the table. And as we got closer, I saw my disciplor/ bible study leader from school, Megan, and her husband, Erik, (they just got married on
Aug 1st) and was once again completely floored. I loved that they were there and it couldn't have been more perfect. They stayed for a bit and gave us a book that helped them out during their engagement. We told them the story to some degree and got to share with them how happy we
were. There was also a beautiful full bouquet of fragrant flowers, which were much prettier than the dead ones he had showed up at the door with.
After awhile, they left and we had dinner together. I was so excited I was no longer hungry. I ended up only had a few bites of my food (fillet mignons with garlic mashed potatoes mmm...). I couldn't hardly eat anything at all. As we left the restaurant, we got stopped by several people asking what the occasion was and asking to hear the story. So, here it is...

Engagement Night

His Perspective

(Written by Kevin the day after)
I’m engaged now! Yesterday I was very anxious all day and couldn’t eat breakfast as a result. Work seemed to drag on forever also…it never seemed to end! I randomly decided to pick some wildflowers to give to Candice when I picked her up. It helped me perpetuate the idea that this was just a special night (our eleventh monthiversary in fact) but not too special. I really wanted her to be surprised! By the time I made it to her house they were dead, drooping, and shriveling... really quite pathetic looking. This was disappointing, but Candice never expected her proposal evening to start with dead flowers! While we were at her house her dad called me a loser for skipping Amplify (bible study)! That helped me surprise Candice also. :) Candice knew that her parents knew when I was going to propose and she thought her dad was being serious… In the end she had her suspicions but given it was a Thursday and we are both working she still didn't know for sure.
We drove up to Peoria Heights. I wanted to drive all the way up Grandview Drive but ended up taking a wrong turn. After a few corrections and guesses, we made it to the scenic point with the parking and picnic spot up on the hill. It was beautiful! I was afraid it was going to be too hot, but it was shaded with a nice breeze, absolutely perfectly cool and wonderful! Then I told her that we were early and had awhile to wait for our reservations. I told her that I really wanted to tell her a story. So I grabbed the journal and we went and sat on the bench over-looking the river.
As I started reading she realized what I had done with the journal. She was surprised and loved it! The journal was very quirky and corny in a lot of places but she laughed a lot and was very happy. A few times she would make a comment about something, and then the next line in the journal was exactly what she had just said! She certainly realized what was happening as I kept reading. A few times she couldn't even look at me... but she was still paying attention! She was also surprised that I put all those stickers in it! The journal also had a lot of quirky grammar issues and spelling issues that made it that much more perfect and Kevin-esque. As you can tell I’m not a great writer.
At the end of the journal I finished it with an entry from August 13th... that day! In that entry, I explained things in present tense like she was just realizing them as she was! Perfect! Things like "Now I know why he was so tired all the time." I spent many late nights trying to finish everything and of course she knew nothing about it! She also had no idea that all the poems were one big poem about her and the many reasons that I love her.
I finished it all by restating all of the poems in order and ending with 9 extra lines in which I proposed. As I said the last line, I couldn't find the ring in my pocket! With tears coming, I proposed. She barely glanced at the ring as she said "yes" and hugged me. At this point we were both (I thought, she refutes this point!) quite openly crying. We probably hugged for 30 seconds, 1 minute, 5 minutes, I don't really know. After that, still openly crying and chin trembling, I said "You still haven't looked at the ring!" I picked up the forgotten ring off of the bench and she put it on. Perfect fit!
I told her that I loved her and carried her to the observation point, skirt and all! We (or maybe just me) were still crying... saying that we loved each other. At thus point it was already 7:30. As we walked to the car I decided to kiss her. That was not part of my original plan. I then called her my fiancee for the first time, after I kissed her for the first time! She almost ran into the car after that! Perfect!
We drove to a parking lot behind the restaurant and parked. She didn't know where we were or where we were going. I walked her to the strip and into Seven on Prospect, a Cosmopolitan Grill. As I walked up to the manager, Joe, he looked and smiled. I said, "I believe you have a reservation for me." Without saying my name he nodded and walked us, slowly and carefully, to our booth.
And then Candice realized that Megan and Erik (close friends from U of I) were hiding in our booth waiting for us! There was also a large bouquet of lavender and white flowers. The look on Candice's face was priceless. For the next 15 minutes she barely said anything except for "wow" and nervous laughter. She just gazed into my eyes in the most loving manner. She was very surprised and very thrilled that Megan was there. They gave us a book about marriage by John Piper. Candice was very surprised and distracted and could not concentrate on anything for a length of time. Between the proposal, kiss, ring, being called fiancee, flowers, Megan & Erik, she had a lot going on that she couldn't process! :) Perfect!
The waitress gave us about 20 minutes to get settled and to order. Candice finally got around to telling Megan the story. It was a great time of joy, laughter and happiness.
We finally ordered. Fillet Mignon medium-rare for Candice. Chicken and goat cheese for me! First we had some bread, warm and crispy on the outside, warm and soft on the inside with and awesome olive/antipasto topping!
The food was delicious and the calling/texting of people had begun! Erik took a photo of Candice's ring on her hand for us. Candice called her mom first and texted Heather the first picture. I called home, talked to Dad as Mom wasn’t home just then. Candice was starving when we left her house early in the evening but she only had two or three bites of her meal! I guess she had a lot on her mind right then… By that time all my surprises were over and I was certainly hungry and ready to eat.
We took some pictures at the restaurant and I spilled lemonade all over myself. Megan and Erik had to go drive down to Champaign so they left early and did not eat. While we were leaving, I stopped the manager and thanked him very much for all his help, in the middle of the restaurant. As people noticed the huge bouquet of flowers, the conversations around us slowly stopped and the looks on people's faces slowly changed from curiosity to wonder as they realized what had happened earlier tonight! After walking out, some random guys saw the flowers and asked what the occasion was. So we told them and they were very interested in the story! Afterwards one of the guys asked for Candice's name. It turns out that two of the guys knew Rob, her step-father. We finally got back to the car and drove to Amplify to meet Jill and Aaron. Jill took the flowers and our leftover food back home for us. We ended up catching Jill outside the building and Candice told the story for the 3rd time of the night.
Then we went inside and talked to Aaron along with some of Aaron’s friends and Amplify leaders (including my bible study leader). Story telling #4 was to Aaron (her father) and that group. Then I stepped over to officially introduce Candice as my fiancee to several of my peers and friends that were in the same room. Since it was a loud room filled with people, they didn’t hear the story. So Candice was able to tell the story for a fifth time to our group of friends there. Some of my friends were in Morton that evening and I wanted to catch them that night also, so we left soon after that.
As we left for Morton, I carried Candice outside and that got some stares and another "congratulations!" from some women on the street. On the way to Morton, I called Stephanie and let Candice talk to her for #6! Then I call Michael and told him all about it. Mom called me while we were at the Waterhouse (Amplify). I went to Jordan’s mom’s house and he gave me two bear hugs; one for me and one for Candice (he didn’t know if it was appropriate to hug Candice). #7 was to Justin and Jordan. That was the last one that evening.
I was emotionally, physically and in every way exhausted after leaving the restaurant. As you now know we still saw many other people throughout the night and did a lot of driving. After getting back to Candice’s house (back in Peoria) around 11:45, we laid down for a while together. I fell asleep. Perfect!
Here is a list of things that I didn’t plan on but made the night that much better:
Wildflowers – more specifically dead wildflowers
Aaron’s comment about me skipping Amplify
Missing the Grandview drive turn
Grammar errors and misspellings in the journal
Crying
Kissing
Carrying Candice in a skirt
What I said to the manager
Garlic mashed potatoes in a wine glass
Spilling lemonade all over myself
Megan and Erik’s gift
Random people that stopped and talked to us!

Spiritual: Exegesis Regarding the Doctrine of Covenants- Part 3

My First Exegesis Regarding the Doctrine of Covenants: To Include the Covenant of Friendship- Part 3 of 3
By: Candice C. Farney

So what is a covenant friendship? Should we care?

Fifth covenant: Covenant between Friends
The last covenant I know of is one that I have never seen explored. Jonathan was the son of Saul; the first King of Israel.  Saul fell out of favor with the Lord and the Lord called Samuel to seek out David.  Saul became very jealous of David and made several attempts on David's life, with David escaping each time. At least twice, David proved to Saul that he had the opportunity to kill him but chose not because Saul had been anointed by God. During all this time, there is a back story between David and Jonathan. Jonathan is about to lose his kingdom to David and he doesn't care (1 Samuel 18:1-4, 1 Samuel 19:1, 1 Samuel 20:42, 1 Samuel 23:15-18).  Their story starts in 1 Samuel 18:1-4:

"As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.  And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father's house.  Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul.  And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt."

There are two very intense sayings here. The first is that their souls were knit together. The second was that Jonathan loved David as he did his own soul. And out of response to this love, Jonathan made a covenant to David. However, we see indications that this was not necessarily reciprocated by David. David did not reciprocate Jonathan's actions and might not have initially shared in Jonathan's love. So this initial covenant may have just been made by Jonathan to David and not both ways.  After David ran away from Saul, Jonathan volunteered his services to David. He told David that he would find out his father's plot against David and make it known to him. After Jonathan discovered that Saul intended to kill David and that David had done nothing wrong, Jonathan went to David. In 1 Samuel 20:41-42, we see their exchange;

"… David rose from beside the stone heap and fell on his face to the ground and bowed three times. And they kissed one another and wept with one another, David weeping the most. Then Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, because we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring, forever.’” And he rose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city."

There is no doubt that David reciprocated Jonathan’s love. Heck, he even wept the most. Plus, Jonathan affirms that they both were sworn to each other. This would seem to indicate that they made the covenant to each other, at least this time, if not before. There covenant was then reaffirmed in 1 Samuel 23:15-18,

"David saw that Saul had come out to seek his life. David was in the wilderness of Ziph at Horesh.  And Jonathan, Saul's son, rose and went to David at Horesh, and strengthened his hand in God.  And he said to him, “Do not fear, for the hand of Saul my father shall not find you. You shall be king over Israel, and I shall be next to you. Saul my father also knows this.”  And the two of them made a covenant before the Lord. David remained at Horesh, and Jonathan went home."

This may have been a reaffirming of their first covenant, or superseding it as they grew in love. We see here that not only are they dedicated to the protection of each other (demonstrated by the gesture of giving the other their weapon) and the livelihood of each other (demonstrated by the giving of the shirt off one’s back) but also the eternal dedication of even their offspring to each other. This is a very deep and intense love. After Jonathan dies in battle, in 2 Samuel 1 we see David fasting and weeping. He even says that Jonathan's love exceeds the love of women. Then in 2 Samuel 9 we see David giving Jonathan's son the same honor at his table that he gives to his own sons, despite the fact that Jonathan's son was a cripple. He restored his father's land and even gave him laborers to work the land for him. David loved Jonathan's son out of the abundance of love he had for Jonathan.   They expressed this love for each other through covenant and both were blessed by it.

What should a covenant friendship look like or mean?
The next question I had was what would a covenant friendship look like? What do I know about other covenants that could give me insight into this type? From here on out, these are mostly my extrapolations and thoughts on the matter. Consider it advice and let it weigh with that limited authority in your life. A covenant friendship is a commitment to love the other person more than you love yourself. Whatever you have that they need is available to them to include your time, money and resources. I am available to my husband all the time, for whatever he needs. Just as I try to be available to God at all times. I don't do this perfectly but I try to do better every day. This is the same way that we need to love anyone that we are in covenant with. This love is not conditional upon how we feel or our selfish desires. It is about being as unselfish as we can.

A covenant friendship is also a commitment to pray. You can love people best by lifting them up before the Lord in prayer and supplication. I pray intentionally at least twice a day for my husband, our marriage and also my relationship with God. It would then follow that if you covenant yourself with another you should commit yourself to pray for them at least daily. A covenant friendship is also a commitment to their family. You love their children with the same love and care that you show your own. This is how David did it, and as he was a man after God's own heart, this is our best example. Thus, you must be just as available to their family as you are to your own. A covenant friendship will have repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation. I am argumentative in nature. I enjoy a good argument. But many times I have to remind myself that I love my husband more than I love being right. In any moment of discord, I will stand back and evaluate every way that I can think that I have been unloving. It doesn't matter if my point was a good one or if I was right. I love the person more than the win. We have to be able to approach our covenanted friend with humility and be the first to ask forgiveness. It opens doors and creates more vulnerability and more room for love. A covenant friendship will probably contain a lot of the other parts of covenant that marriages typically take on such as: accountability, honesty, openness, sensitivity and confidentiality. Honestly, I think you have a lot of freedom to choose what the premises for this type of covenant should look like because we don't see a lot of structure in it. I would say model it as best you can after David and Jonathan and then add to it as you feel called.

There is one other suggestion that I would like to make. Don't cross gender lines. Again, I revert to all things being permissible, but not all things beneficial. I am not saying you couldn't make a covenant across gender lines outside of marriage, I just think this would probably cause more tension than good. This doesn't seem like the type of thing that is above reproach. When people see it they may not understand. I cannot imagine how I would have felt if I found out my husband was in a covenant with another girl before we got married. I definitely don't know how I would feel if he entered one now. If you feel called towards someone of the opposite sex, consider covenanting your families, after considering it and discussing it with your spouses.   If either spouse is uncomfortable with this then out of respect for that spouse, do not enter the covenant.  I have definitely had my share of moments where I am reminded that the spouse of a friend's opinions and feelings matter just as much, if not more, than your friends. You want to be a blessing to their marriage, not just to one of them individually. Thus, you need to love and respect both of them and their wishes.

In Conclusion

In conclusion, I do not think that the final three covenants discussed are required.  Actually, technically none of the covenants are required.  If they were, then you wouldn’t have a choice in the matter.  Salvation, however, hinges on our accepting the new covenant.  And through our faith and acceptance of it, God is glorified.  The marriage covenant is not required and even somewhat discouraged by Paul (1 Corinthians 7).  However, it can bring God much glory by way of putting on display Christ’s relationship with the church and showing the world the kind of sacrificial love that our Savior showed us.  Making a covenant with yourself not to sin is not required either.  We see only one example in the bible of someone doing this, and that is Job.  And after he proved his faithfulness and dedication to God, the Lord restored him to twice what he had before.  Covenants between nations are few and far between and are also not required.  But we do know that not keeping this type of covenant is going to result in God turning His face away from us on this earth.  And covenant friendship is not commanded by God.  But we do see Him blessing it.  Both Jonathan and David were blessed by each other and by God through the covenant they joined.  A covenant is really a commitment before God to keep His commands very intentionally towards another person, knowing that God will hold us accountable.  Covenants bring Him glory. Again, if they were mandatory, this would not be so.  God gives us the freedom to respond to His call to love by entering a covenant.   I encourage you to consider enter into any of these covenants, if you feel so called.  It is yet another chance to be obedient to God by loving others and bringing Him more glory.  Covenants are a means to love deeper and more intentionally by abiding in a closer commitment with the Lord.


To you Lord, be all glory, honor and praise.



For the full version, visit this link.


Here are some references that I read and that through. Feel free to do the same. http://www.padfield.com/2004/covenants.html http://www.cephasministry.com/water/bible_believers_god_made_three_covenants.html http://www.gotquestions.org/bible-covenants.html
http://www.messianicassociation.org/ezine17-af.covenants.htm
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Books,%20Tracts%20&%20Preaching/Printed%20Books/Dr%20Jack%20Hyles/Blue%20Denim%20and%20Lace/blue_denim_and_lace-chap_5.htm http://faithencounter.org/covenant.htm http://gracethrufaith.com/selah/eternal-security/the-covenant-relationship/

Spiritual: Exegesis Regarding the Doctrine of Covenants- Part 2

My First Exegesis Regarding the Doctrine of Covenants: To Include the Covenant of Friendship- Part 2 of 3
By: Candice C. Farney

What covenants are we most familiar with? What is revealed about these covenants?

First Covenant: God and man
When you Google "covenant" this is probably what is going to come up first. I say that because this was what came up first for me. There are many Christian and Jewish scholars that discuss the different covenants that God creates with men. Many theologians smarter than I have covered the topic and I would highly suggest you study some of those texts if you are interested. However, just because other's cover it, doesn't mean I won't. And honestly, there are a couple of points that I disagree with. Typically, commentators identify these are the major covenants between God and man: Edenic (Hosea 6:7), Adamic (Genesis 2-3), Noahic (Genesis 9), Abrahamic (Genesis 15), Aaronic (aka Priestly covenant from Numbers 25), Mosaic (Exodus 24), Davidic (2 Samuel 7) and the new covenant (Jeremiah 31:31-39 and Ephesians 1:11-14). This is not an exhaustive list.  But these are the most commonly identified covenants (though not all of them are called covenants specifically in the bible).  The only one I will cover in depth here is the covenant that each of us may enter into: the new covenant.

The new covenant- The new covenant first appears in the Old Testament when God reveals it as a promise to the Prophet Jeremiah (Jeremiah 31:31-39).  God tells Jeremiah that even though Israel turned from her husband, the Lord and breaks her portion of the covenant. As an aside, this metaphor is an interesting one and later is revealed in Ephesians 5 that Christ is the head of the church as a husband is the head of his wife. Keep this in mind as I will come back to it. However, God has remained faithful and continues to fulfill his end. Under the new covenant, the law will dwell within God's people and it will be written on their hearts. This seems to allude to the promised indwelling of the Holy Spirit. Even if it doesn't, remember that Christ said that the law is based on love. So when God says the law will dwell within us, He is literally saying that we will be indwelt with love for God and love for others. It is under this new covenant that Christians live. God describes a covenant that reaches to the ends of the earth and expands for the rest of time. But in the New Testament, we learn that there is one ‘way out’ of this covenant. There is one thing that cannot be forgiven and will break any covenant that one has with God. It is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit (Matthew 12:22-32 and Mark 12:22-30). These instances are specifically mentioned twice in the bible and both times are said from the mouth of Christ. I will not get into specifics on the subject because blasphemy against the Holy Spirit really deserves volumes with all the theories and implications in these verses. The important thing to know is that, because the result is losing salvation, it must break the covenant that should result in salvation.  For the purposes of the doctrines of covenant, it is just important to know that God does provide a way that this covenant can be broken. But we still see the purpose of entering the new covenant is to the praise of His glory in Ephesians 1:11-14.

Second Covenant: Husband and Wife
The second most talked about or referenced biblical covenant is the one of husband and wife. This covenant starts in the Garden of Eden itself. Genesis 2 provides our first definition of marriage, a man and woman that leave their families in order to create their own. We know that God intends this to be a covenant because He calls it that in Malachi 2:14. The covenant of marriage literally is the joining of two people into one person. Jesus says in Matthew 19:6 "So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let not man separate.” We see many conditions of the covenant of marriage given in the bible. Entering this covenant requires one man, one woman and God. It requires leaving the original family unit and making a new one together. It is not called to separate.

But, just like the new covenant, there is a ‘way out’ provided. Technically, there is one provided in the Old Testament and one provided in the New Testament. The first way to break the covenant of marriage is covered in Deuteronomy 24:1-4, Matthew 5:32 and Mark 10:4  saying that if one spouse commits adultery on the other it gives the non-adulterous spouse the right to offer a certificate of divorce and break the covenant. Now, to put it bluntly, God doesn't want to see divorce in any circumstance ("let not man separate!"). But God being a loving God understood that adultery is so painful to the faithful spouse that there heart would be hardened (Mark 10:5).  So God allows them a way out without the guilt being on their head. For my husband and I, we decided when we got married to supersede this covenant. We acknowledged that God doesn't want us to divorce in the worst of circumstances. That He can be brought glory even through adultery. So we decided that we will not divorce in the case of adultery. When we made our covenant, we said that the only case in which we would divorce is if one of us had a repeated sexual relationship with another person that we are not willing to give up. It doesn't matter if it is caught nor confessed. So long as the adulterous spouse is willing to give up the relationship and stay in the marriage, then we both will. We will live in love and forgiveness and we will stick around and figure it out to bring God glory. Because God is a God of healing and reconciliation, we trust that He would heal our marriage. Not that either of us has any worry about the other cheating. Because we know that our line for divorce is so far back, I can honestly say that we have more freedom in our marriage than pretty much any other we know. My husband and I can confess our every sin to the other and know that the other won't leave. Even more so, each of us is willing to have the other confess their sins to us and love each other and help each other through it. I have almost as much freedom in my covenant with my husband as I do in my covenant with Christ, which is fitting because the covenant of marriage is supposed to reflect the covenant Christ made with the church (Ephesians 5). It is the kind of love that casts out all fears and doubts (1 John 4:18).

Now, on the topic of divorce (or breaking the covenant of marriage), the Apostle Paul gives one other acceptable circumstance for divorce.  Paul says that if a believer is married to an unbeliever and the unbeliever leaves, then the believer is released from the covenant (1 Corinthians 7:12-16). Paul comes to this conclusion saying that an unbelieving spouse is made holy by their oneness with the believing spouse. Now, this is not saying that the unbelieving spouse is saved and Paul makes that clear in verse sixteen. The non-believing spouse is just entering a marriage and cannot be bound by the covenant because they cannot make one before a God in whom they do not believe. This is why Paul starts by saying the believer cannot leave. Is it going to be frustrating covenanting yourself to a person that has not covenanted themselves to you? Yes. Is it going to cause friction? Most likely. Does that give you license to leave? No. Why? Because you make them holy (1 Corinthians 7:14). This does not mean you tell your unbelieving spouse to leave you so that you can be free of your covenant. It just means that if they want to break their vow, then it will release you from the covenant.

On this note, there is one excuse that believers like to make to justify their divorce from a non-believing spouse. That God didn't want them to enter that marriage in the first place. This is the first of two times I will say this, covenant beats command. The reason Paul tells you that you cannot leave is because you entered a covenant that God didn't want you to enter in the first place. But let me back up. Multiple places in the bible give the same command; believers are called to marry other believers, not unbelievers. The bible talks about this in many terms; including being equally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14-18, Deuteronomy 7:3; Joshua 23:12; Ezra 9:2; Nehemiah 13:25; 1 Corinthians 7:39). The idea comes from farm work where you would yoke two oxen (or other large animals that would pull your plow) together and put them to the plow. You would want two of equal size and strength so that they both pull equally and at the same speed. If one was significantly weaker, it would pretty much be dragged by the stronger and could damage both animals in the end. In life, you want your partner to plow at the same speed as yourself. You don't want to be the strong one dragging the weaker one along until they quit and you don't want to be the weak one holding someone back; especially in their faith. It's about going in the same direction, at the same speed, neither pulling the other.  Instead walking along side each other, and sharing the weight of the load. So how does covenant beat this command? We have already been told that failing to obey God's command and marrying a non-believer does not give the believer the right to leave. The covenant you enter, even against God's command, you must honor because that still gives God more glory. This does not mean that God is required to bless you in your disobedience. It just means He gets more glory by your fulfilling your promise to Him and others in spite of your disobedience to His command.

Third Covenant: Covenant with the Oneself
The third covenant from the bible most commonly talked about comes from Job. The book of Job talks about Job’s faithfulness to God in a very hard to endure circumstance.  He was a man who had lost everything, but was still worshipping God. When a friend asked him what sin he had committed that would make God punish him, he answered that he hadn’t sinned at all.  And in explaining part of his righteousness in Job 31:1, Job tells us he made a covenant with his eyes to not look at any woman lustfully. This is a covenant of purity. This reveals knowledge that isn't again revealed until Jesus brings it up in Matthew 5:28, when He says that even looking at a woman lustfully means you have committed adultery. Job is merely trying to indicate that he knows he is blameless before the Lord but his covenant to himself for purity is an inspiration to many.  His example reveals that you can covenant with yourself before the Lord to not sin. This would be another way to love God and bring Him glory, by following His commands.  The problem is that most people don't have the intestinal fortitude to make this kind of intense commitment even if it is to free themselves from a sin they cannot escape. If you are taking your sin seriously and are truly ready to give it up, make a covenant with yourself before God to never do it again. Choose loving God and others over loving yourself and your sin.  This type of covenant may not be necessary for all types of sin, but it may be for you if there is a specific sin that you have been tempted by for years.  However, do not enter this covenant rashly.  You need to be very honest with yourself and if you are really ready to give up your sin and never turn back to it.  Because, again, if you make a covenant and you break it, it will not go well with you.

Fourth Covenant: Covenant between peoples/ tribes
The fourth covenant covers covenants between people groups or tribes. These types of covenants can be found in the Old Testament but there is one that stands out to me the most. It is found in Joshua 9. Joshua was leading Israel to the lands God promises after Moses died and Joshua was tricked into entering a covenant with the Gibeonites, a people God commanded them to destroy. After realizing this, Joshua made them forced laborers for Israel, but honored his covenant. Again, covenant overrides command. If it did not, we would have seen God rebuke the Israelites for allowing the Gibeonites to live, as He did whenever the Israelites did not fully fulfill His commands to destroy other tribes.  As a matter of fact, 2 Samuel 21 we see that years after Joshua died we learn that King Saul killed some of the Gibeonites. Though we do not know why, we do know that God punished Israel with a famine that lasted at least three years and passed the point of Saul's death. The reason I chose to focus on this covenant is that not only does it show covenant beating commandment, it shows how covenant transcends time. The original maker of the covenant was long since dead and the violator of the covenant had also died, but God still held the nation of Israel accountable through famine. And we already know that famine is one of the ways God says He will punish those that break a covenant. Even though God never wanted them to enter this covenant, He still expected them to honor it.

But how do we enter this type of covenant when we no longer have tribes and we are not diplomats that can tie our country's fate to another?  My thoughts on the best fulfilling of this type of covenant would be to create covenants between churches. As long as that church believes in the fundamental principles of the Gospel, then the small differences don't matter for the sake of covenant. By covenanting churches together, we not only learn to love each other better, but we can expand our reach to God's glory! Consider this: a church in the heart of a big city and a big church in the heart of a suburb. The church in the suburb probably has a lot more money (and is likely wasting some of it on the finer things it does not need) and the church in the city has a big mission. By partnering these churches, you can extend the reach of both.  You partner in saying neither church will let the other die but both churches will receive what they need to preach the Gospel. The big church might seem like it is helping the small church more, but really, both would be a blessing to each other. In seeing the Gospel spread and the word alive, the suburban church will grow and be blessed. They actually receive more by being a part of a Gospel that grows. Churches should be looking for new methods to expand their Gospel reach and I think partnering with other churches would be a perfect way to do that. Aside from giving monetary support, each of the churches should find ways to serve the other instead of their own and partner together in love.


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Spiritual: Exegesis Regarding the Doctrine of Covenants- Part 1

My First Exegesis Regarding the Doctrine of Covenants: To Include the Covenant of Friendship- Part 1 of 3
By: Candice C. Farney

The Back Story:

So recently in my readings of the Old Testament, I came across a passage I am sure I had read before but that struck me in a new way. The other day, I was reading 1 Samuel and the story of David and Saul when I picked up on something that before, I must have just read over. It was regarding the relationship between Jonathan and David. Specifically, I was reading 1 Samuel 18:1-4, 1 Samuel 19:1, and 1 Samuel 20:42. These passages talk about Jonathan loving David as himself and the two making a covenant between each other. Now, I have read of many covenants in the bible, two greater known (between God and man and between a husband and wife) and two lesser known or focused on (covenants between tribes/ people and covenants with ourselves) but I had never seen this kind of covenant between two people outside of marriage.

Please note: these are just my thoughts and extrapolations.  I include as many scripture references as I can think of to explain my thoughts.  Anything that comes from scripture is authoritative; my recommendations are not.  I encourage you to consider all of these things and weigh them against what you know.  If something makes sense to you, then use it.  If it doesn’t or you disagree, don’t heed it.  Again, these are just my interpretations and should be considered as such.

What is covenant and why does it matter?
First, we must understand the definition of covenant. Covenant derives originally from the word "to cut." We know that people use to cut a calf in two and walk between the parts (see Genesis 15:7-17 and Jeremiah 34:17-19) Covenant is created and recorded by God. To put it mildly, it is a promise to God that you are bound to keep for all of time. It is defined by God because it is created and held by God. The gist is that it is a promise to love another more than ourselves; to be willing to lay down your life emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally, financially, etc. for another person or group of people. It is a willingness to completely put another's life ahead of yours. We are called to this regardless. It is commanded by Jesus to "And he said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.'" (Matthew 22:34-40) Jesus did this by dying on the cross for the sins of all mankind regardless of the world loving Him. We are called to love with this same kind of sacrificial love. Some may disagree that covenant is about this kind of sacrificial love.  However, all I can say is that if Jesus says all of the laws of the Old Testament are dependent upon these two commandments then the laws regarding covenant must depend on this love as well.

So you may ask what makes a covenant different than just loving others. Covenant is an eternally bound oath before the Lord, and that is quite a commitment. There isn't a way out of it unless predetermined by God in the bible.  You cannot go back on a covenant but you can supersede it by taking the bounds a step further.

Aside from covenants, there are also oaths and vows. Covenants, once entered into, have no contingencies. There is never a point you are released from it. They are binding and they transcend time because God transcends time. Unless there is a prescribed way, given by God, that releases you from that covenant, it will continue. Vows and oaths are, for all intents and purposes, the same thing. If there is a difference, it seems miniscule at best. Vows and oaths are promises made to the Lord but are contingent upon the fulfillment of something; usually either an event or time. In the bible, we see people vowing to the Lord that if He would give them something then they will return it to Him in the form of an offering. We see vows of curses for those that break a fast. We see a man vow up to half his kingdom to a dancing girl that leads to the death of John the Baptist. And we see Jewish leaders vowing not to eat until they kill Paul, which, unless they broke their vow, means they died of starvation (Judges 11:30-3, 1 Samuel 14:24 Mark 6:23, Acts 23:12). There is also a biblical example of a vow that is for a period of time. It is the Nazirite vow where you cannot shave your head, be near a dead body (even if it is a close member of your family), nor drink any fermented drink nor eat grapes. This was usually done for a specific and measurable period of time (Numbers 6:1-21).

Up until this point it may seem like covenants, vows and oaths are all the same thing.  The reason that I argue that these things are different is in the way God describes the consequences for breaking any one of these. This shows a different level of importance between these that makes for a very wide chasm. When it comes to vows and oaths, God wants us to fulfill the vow in haste or the consequence is that you are guilty of sin (Deuteronomy 23:21, Ecclesiastes 5:4, Numbers 30:1-3). Now under Jewish laws, being guilty of sin would likely result in a period of uncleanliness, being unable to participate in certain religious ceremonies and definitely a sin offering. There is no impression given that this reaches a level of severity that it will separate you from God beyond the usual realm of every other sin.

When observing the examples of covenant breaking in the bible, one will find a vengeful God. He does not take it lightly. For instance, there will be panic, diseases that destroy the body and pain the heart and eyes, famine (which probably means there will be death in the land), God will set His face against you (literally being on God's bad side), your enemies will overtake you and overpower you, you will experience God's discipline and you will toil in pain with no fruit born (Leviticus 26:14-36). Elsewhere, we see the additions of God's anger being kindled again the covenant breaker, being forsaken by God; you will be devoured by many evils and troubles that will definitely come (Deuteronomy 31:16-18). To put it lightly, there are many grave consequences. This seems extreme compared to those considered guilty of sin. We know that the penalty for sin is death (Romans 6:23).  Everyone lives in that penalty since Genesis 3 and everyone’s earthly body will eventually perish and become dust.  The difference that we are talking about is the quality of life.  The punishments for breaking covenant are more severe for this life.  Instead of separation from God in eternity, you will experience separation from God here on earth.  Life is not going to go well for you, because the Lord will not be with you.   

On top of that, even when you break the covenant, you are still bound to it unless there is a circumstance where God releases you from it. Just like when Israel turns her back on the Lord time and time again in the Old Testament, the covenant is never dissolved. Basically, there are times when they are living under the terms of the covenant and there are times when they are not. When they aren't, God deals with them accordingly. When they are, God blesses them abundantly. It is not once broken, always broken. And at the same time you cannot break it, even for a time, without punishment.

How does covenant reveal God's glory? Why would I consider entering a covenant?
After understanding how God views covenant, it is hard to understand why one would enter one if they could avoid it. Now obviously, we want to accept God's covenant with us and we also are willing to enter marriage as we are called (go forth, be fruitful and multiply right?!) but after that, most people seem to ignore other covenants. We abide in these two covenants, reap their blessings and say that's enough. But if we want to love God as we are called, we must keep His commandments. 1 John 5:3 says "For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome." And we know that God's love is glorious (Psalm 115:1). When we dwell in this love, we experience a piece of God's glory (1 Peter 1:8-9). Thus, it follows that the more we obey these two commandments by loving both God and man, the more we experience and share God's glory.

Now, God loves us through covenant.   And then He calls us to love each other as He has loved us (Ephesians 5:2).  Thus, it follows that one way for us to show our love is through covenant.  Experiencing God's love is experiencing His glory. Sharing God's love with others is sharing God's glory. And the more we share less of ourselves and more of God, the more He is glorified. We know the promise of John 3:16. That God so loved the world that He gave His only son, so that we will have eternal life (yes, I paraphrased). So we rest in this assurance. But the assurance of our salvation stems from God's love, expressed through the new covenant through Christ, to God’s glory. As Christians, we know what we have been saved from, and we know why. It is very simple. God loved us. God loves us so much that He wants us to share in His glory for the rest of eternity!

Covenant is a step of faith. It is answering God's commandment to love in such a way that we are willing to be called into greater accountability. Accountability is the difference. Entering into a covenant with others tells God that we are taking His commandments very seriously. We step out in faith to grow in our knowledge and understanding of love. We put ourselves in the same situation God has put Himself in with us. We are promising to God that regardless of how the other person responds or acts, we are going to love them. It expands our ability to love as we better understand how God has loved us and thus, we experience even more of His glory. As we commit to loving others more than ourselves, we find ourselves shedding the selfishness of the world and taking on a more holy calling. Covenant is not the only way to love people as God commanded but it is a way to love them with a higher calling and greater accountability to the glory of God.   Christ didn’t need the new covenant to die on a cross for us; it is out of His love for us that He offers us this covenant for our benefit.  The covenant, like all covenants, is merely a means to love deeper and closer.  It is love with a commitment. 


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