Life: We're expecting our first child!

Alright, I know I have suspiciously absent from blogging for the last few months.  At first, it was just the business of having friends and family coming to visit and hitting the slopes during any down time we had, but then that reason changed.  On February 13th, Kevin and I found out that we are expecting our first child.We kept the news mostly to ourselves until week 8 and decided that after we told our family, we wouldn't put anything online until we reached our second trimester (when the risk of miscarriage is greatly reduced).

Baby's first rattle- From my mom

13 weeks

We have had our first ultrasound and our due date has been set for October 19th.  It is hard to believe that we will have a baby  before the holidays even hit.  (If you didn't know, Kevin and I had decided to stop preventing children at the new year and had thus expected to it take the average 3-6 months to get pregnant. Instead it took less than 45 days). Kevin declared it as a boy the first night we found out while I wasn't feeling either way.  I still really don't feel any one way, but when we first saw baby moving and playing on the ultrasound, I said, "Wow! Look at him." So we shall see.  Neither of us are really hoping one way to another, but I think it is fun to try to guess.  We have every intention of finding out the sex at our 20 week appointment.

Assorted books- from my mom

Book from Aunt Heather

The Army has been both frustrating and extremely helpful during this time.  I didn't have my first appointment until week 8 and that was just an intake appointment (no ultrasound, just some lab work and family history) and I had my first ultrasound in week 11.   The Army is pretty good about not doing an unnecessary testing (unlike a regular physician who can get away with charging insurance companies for extra ultrasounds that don't really have a purpose) which is both good and frustrating.  Naturally, I would have wanted to see baby much earlier, but at the same time, I appreciate the idea of not indulging everyone of my wants.  I have also been going to pregnancy physical training instead of my normal unit PT.  This includes one day a week of prenatal yoga, one day of pool PT, two days of either cardio or light weight training and one day of classes.  The classes are taught my nurses and midwives that cover a range of topics from how STDs can affect pregnancy and delivery to nutrition to delivery methods.  It really helps that instead of having a bunch of extra appointments during the day, most of our education occurs during our regular hours and I know that if I have a question, I will see a nurse that week (though with my step mom and best friend both being doctors, I normally just text one of them when I have a question).

Soft ducky- from my mom

For those wondering, and since I have already been asked, this doesn't change anything about me being in the Army.  I got pregnant with every intention of staying in.  Technically, my commitment is up next May, but I plan on staying in past that at this point.  Yes, I can get out of the Army now that I am pregnant but no, I am not planning to.  Even if I change my mind after baby's here, (which I know some of you may be hoping for) I will at least stay in until next May and fulfill the commitment I first made.  Kevin and I timed it this way so that we would almost be forced to try and make things work with us both working.  I am not the type of person to quit because something is tough, but I will quit if I decide this is something I don't want to do anymore.  If I am being perfectly honest, I cannot imagine that I won't want to be in the Army after baby is here.  I love my job and though I am

Baby's first piggy bank- from my mom

sure I could find success elsewhere, I appreciate the structure and responsibility that doesn't exist outside our military.  If I am not in the Army, I will probably be a stay at home mom, at least for a while.   So, the question will be "do I want to be at home with baby more than I want to be in the Army?"  At this point, Kevin and I are planning on me being in until 2017/18.  If plans change, they change.  If I go for twenty years, then awesome.  If I decided I am done after my four, then so be it.

Baby's first ducky- from my mom

As far as my first trimester of pregnancy, I started getting morning sickness at week five and by week six, I had already moved into nausea with vomiting.  I have experienced a few other symptoms too (congestion, nose bleeds, fatigue, cravings, food aversions and pretty much everything in between too) and that has changed some things around our house.  For instance, I haven't been cooking much and Kevin has had to do some of the grocery shopping.  But things are slowly returning back to normal.  In fact, yesterday we hiked 12 miles to the top of a mountain and back (about 4500 ft in elevation change).  I plan on continuing to hike, but I am not sure that we will be doing any more mountain climbing as I get bigger (mostly because of the risk of falling on the snow and ice that is still up around the 10,000 ft mark).  We cut our ski season short this year in part because of the risk of falling (not much for me), but more because the morning sickness pretty much killed any desire I had to get up early and be in a car for two and a half hours.  The only weird food things have been that for the first time in my life I don't want anything to do with vegetables (which I normally love) and have only really been able to do raw carrots and I haven't really wanted chocolate (super weird for me).  I have craved McDonald's (so weird!) and Chipotle (not surprising!).

Kevin and I hiking

Bible- from my mom

Kevin and I have only bought a couple of things for baby.  The first is a bag I intend to use as a diaper bag.  I bought it during a thirty-one benefit party for Caring-for-Carter.  I bought a bag called the city weekender (may look small in the pic but it is definitely a bag for an adult with enough room for a couple of changes of clothes, etc.).  I figured it was perfect since I didn't really need or want a new purse, and this is the type of thing I can use on weekend trips after baby doesn't need a diaper bag anymore.  The second item we bought is a play yard.  We decided to buy this early since our 8 month old niece will be staying with us in a couple of weeks and we didn't have any place for her to stay.  We pretty much went with the most expensive model because it packs compactly and will be perfect for our trips back to Illinois.  It has a removable bassinet with a stand, a changing table, storage under the changing table area, a raised bassinet and then the normal play pen for when baby gets bigger.  I sent my sister-in-law a picture to let her know we have a place for our niece to sleep and she told me that her and her husband were planning on getting us a pack in play as a gift so that they could use it during their visit!  I just had to laugh that we had the exact same idea, I was just faster at ordering.  Also bought were onesies to announce we were expecting to aunts and uncles, and some bottles, blankets, jammies and a toy to tell my mom.  But none of those things are here with me and I don't have pictures, sorry.

Baby's first onesie- from Michelle

We have also had a few people already starting to buy baby gifts.  My friend Michelle technically got the first baby gift (but she was also told early as I felt horribly guilty.  I am supposed to be a bridesmaid in her wedding on October 18th and baby is due the next day!)  Naturally, since we met in college, she bought baby's first Illini gear.  My mom came in second with a silver rattle, a duck toy (we are going pond themed for the nursery since it is gender neutral), and a piggy bank.  Since then, I only know of one toy that has been bought by my mom and a bunch of books.  My mom and sister have made it their mission to create baby's library.  

Afghanistan: Number 22

Me covered in filth at Sharana last month

Hey everybody.  Time for my twenty second post from this lovely country with less than six weeks until I am home!!  It's been a pretty awesome week and  am excited to share some updates.  The first of which is that I have pretty much packed everything up!  At least, kind of.  I have basically gone through and packed in such a way that I am sure all my stuff is going to fit.  Tomorrow, I will finish my Christmas shopping, load up the last bit of stuff, and then create my packing list.  Later this week, I will be loading two tuff boxes and a duffle bag into our containers.  After they get approved by customs, then our stuff will get shipped home.  My room will feel pretty empty once I load my stuff in the container, but I think I am good with that!

Mental: Lean Six Sigma is almost completely closed out for me!  The last bit is just getting my 4187 signed (saying that I officially completed the course) and then having it put on my records.  I don't know how long this will take, but it's not really in my hands. My part is done.  All in all, I saved the army over $10.7 mil in direct savings and over another $34 mil in cost avoidance.  It feels good to be done.  Plus, I have helped another black belt candidate finish his project, my section NCOIC finish his green belt project, my NCO finish his green belt project and then as needed helped three other NCOs with their green belt projects (two of which I am pretty sure are complete).  So, not only am I glad to be done, I am also glad to be able to help others reach that finish line as well.

The incline

Physical: So, I got a chance to do a sort of practice PT test while I was traveling this past week.  I thought about fully taking my PT test there because the altitude is much lower, but I am glad I didn't.  I did do push ups and the run route though I didn't do sit ups because doing that seemed like a poor choice on the road.  I managed to max both, but I was sucking on the run.  I think the fact that it was much hotter and there was a lot of sand and dust in the air, coupled with the fact that I was running a route I never had before in the dark made me run about 30 seconds slower than I have been in Bagram.  But even still, I think if I had run it in the morning during day light, I still would have been struggling to breathe.  So I will take my APFT next week with everyone else.  I am pretty confident I will get a 300 again and am really happy with that.  The goal though is to make sure it sticks when I get back.  I have already been thinking about my workouts and I think I am going to make sure I incorporate the incline ( which I have never done before and my goal is to be able to walk straight up it without stopping, and once I can do that, then run it) and also yoga into my workouts.  I will be doing PT in the mornings with my unit, but I want to make sure I am hitting the gym during lunch.  But the other part is making sure I don't eat a bunch of crap.  Unfortunately, we are coming back at pretty much the best food time of the year and after eating DFAC food all the time (I had steak the other night and I know that wasn't cow meat), it will be all to easy to gorge myself.  So a strict workout routine will have to be on the menu as well.

Financial: I don't have any real new updates here except that I am sitting at about a 50% gain on my initial investment.  I have two stocks that are doing quite well and I intend to hold on to them awhile longer.  Part of me is debating holding on to them longer term since I have already had them a month and a half and they have only been doing well for me.  I don't think either of them has dipped below my original buy price since I first picked them up.  But we shall see what they do in the next couple of weeks.  I might just hold them through their next earnings reports if they are looking promising.  Kevin and I are also about to hit that fun time of year where we discuss next years budget and savings plan.  It'll be nice to start figuring out what we want to do over the next year or so and set some solid goals with regards to our house, car and family.

Emotional:  I am not really sure how to categorize this next part, so I am going to put it here.  Right now, it is looking very likely that I will be going to a new unit when I get back to Fort Carson.  I don't have a specific job locked in at this point, but there are a few possibilities and all of them would be very good for me.  I got my first look at my annual review yesterday (even though it isn't due until November) and things are looking very promising.  I have been performing very well and because of that, my leadership is looking at giving me the opportunity to change units when I get back.  I am excited to take on a new job and am really ready for the change. I look forward to experiencing something brand new.  But there is a lot of unknowns that come with that.  I obviously don't have the job position taken yet, and nothing is really a guarantee until you have it in hand (and with the Army, even that may not mean much).  So with that, I also don't know what the hours will be like.  But the unknown makes it exciting for me.  It's one of the things I love about the Army, I can never really get bored.  I get to change jobs every year or so, change locations every few years and get a lot of unique opportunities.  I am slowly realizing that I actually really enjoy being in the Army, and I am surprisingly good at it.  It seems odd that this job that I picked when I was twelve really has ended up being such a good fit for me.  And though I do not know what the future holds (I have already been offered a job on the civilian side that looks potentially very appealing), I can say that I hope that whatever I end up doing, I bring God glory.

Spiritual: So, to be honest, I have been lacking a bit here.  I have been struggling to motivate myself to read my bible.  Right now, I am in Ezekiel, where he talks about the temple.  And just like reading Numbers or Leviticus, I just struggle to stay motivated and keep reading.  And that is not good, because I am actually supposed to be reading twice a day and recently, I have only been reading once.  So, now that I am nearly packed and don't have a lot of work on my plate, I am going to buckle down and get myself caught back up to where I am supposed to be.  Thankfully, I have not been struggling in my prayer life the way I have in my reading.  I have still been praying nightly and as a quick update, am still praying for my friend who doesn't know the Lord.  It has been nearly 200 nights of praying for him and it doesn't seem like any progress has been made.  But, I am starting to wonder if this prayer is not for him, but for me.  Maybe this is one of those things God has called me to just to teach me diligence and self control.  I will continue to pray for him as this deployment nears its end, but I have come to terms with the fact that this, like many of my other prayers, is not mine to demand an answer to.  Like so many other times, I am learning that patience is precious and that demanding answers doesn't make them come any sooner, and most frequently, just makes me look foolish.  So I will just have to learn some patience and love.

Afghanistan: Number 12

So here we are, in week 16.

As you may know, a lot has been happening here in Afghanistan. Mostly, we have moved half of my unit from Kandahar to Bagram.  As the plans officer in my battalion, this movement was mostly collaborated by myself and my boss, the operations officer.  There have been a lot of moving pieces and a lot of effort by many people and my shop has been working to make sure all of those efforts are in line with what the commander wants, tailored to best accomodate the mission and tweaked to fit everyone's preferences.  It has been busy, but we are here and our mission never stopped despite the movement of half the battalion. 

The living conditions here are much different than they are in Kandahar.  Kandahar had lots of space and hot dry weather (talking 115 during this past week).  Bagram is a balmy 90 degrees during the day, humid, cool at night and everyone lives in relatively close proximity to each other. There isn't much for privacy here and you never really are alone.  And with the weather being better, more Soldiers spend their free time outside than they did at Kandahar.  But aside from that, Kandahar looked like a dessert.  Most days, we expereinced some degree of a sand storm and it was hot and dry and brown.  There wasn't any grass and very few trees and green things.  Bagram is practically an oasis by comparison.  We are surrounded by beautiful snow capped mountains and there is grass and tress every where.  Everyone seems more light hearted here and I hope it lasts.

But on to my usual goal updating post:

Mental: My Lean Six Sigma projected is still going strong, but I am not so much.  I find it hard to get motivated right now as I am not entirely sure of my next steps.  I have measured all that I wanted to measure and need to have it run through minitab (program lean six sigma people use).  Our master black belt (instructor) did a first pass through my data, but we were in two locations and didn't talk before hand, so it doesn't accurately reflect what I am trying to measure.  But even still, analyzing the data will be much harder.  I know what my data is telling me, I just don't understand why.  For instance, if you are paying a contractor for a service and they fail to provide that service, you would expect that they wouldn't get paid, or they would only get paid for the service they provided.  But, from what I see in my data, they get paid about the same as if they had provided that service.  So I can tell there are things not happening the way I would assume that the would, I have to start explaining why.  And with almost 11,000 lines of data spanning about 50 columns worth of data, it is hard to start looking at individual pieces.  Probably because that sounds exhausting and I am feeling lazy. 

Emotional:  I find it hard to provide a solid update here, but I always feel that way.  I am finding better balance in my life here and am on a much better schedule work wise.  I am not working the crazy hours I was before and I have been trying to take more time to relax.  I feel better rested and at peace.  But on the other hand, I am hitting the slump of just wanting to go home.  I want to sleep in my own bed, with my husband's arms arround me and my puppies at my feet.  I want to eat the food I cook and wear the clothes I choose.  I have found that having more time to myself leads to more thoughts of home and I can tell by talking to Kevin, he is getting pretty burnt out on this whole deployment thing too.  We have been here for four months now with about five left to go.  I am definitely ready to see the half way point in the next couple of weeks and am hoping it goes fast after that.  I am trying very hard to live in the moment and not wish time away and have to remind myself of that pretty much every day.

Spiritual: So, I have been praying and reading my bible daily for over 100 days, almost 120.  I have found that this is the reason behind my joy and peace.  It is so relaxing to just stop and pray over my current situations, my family, my friends and my husband.  It keeps things in perspective to take the time each night to remember who God is, what He is capable of and what He has already done for me.  It is soothing to know that no matter where I go, I am never alone and no matter what I have or don't, I am never in need.  My cup overflowth and I find myself so blessed despite my circumstances.  I am blessed with a new found love for my Savior, a new appreciation for what he has done, a new perspective on my sin and a new joy that is based solely on him.  I am also blessed with good leadership, a hard working unit, and some pretty awesome new friends.

Financial: So, I currently don't own any stocks and haven't been doing any trading in the last couple of weeks.  Now that I am settled, I will probably start up again, but probably not with much vigor until the new iteration of earnings reports comes out.  I am currently sitting at a 20% profit on my intial investment, which is still pretty exciting.  I am wondering how much it will grow as I continue building it over time. 

Physical: Since arriving at Bagam, I have decided to run the Army ten-miler.    Normally, it is a race run every year in D.C., normally around Columbus Day weekend.  Since we clearly can't go to that, Bagram is hosting there own.  Ten miles is too easy and I could probably do that now, but not very fast.  My guess is that I could do it between and 9 and a 9:30 min/ mile pace right now.  My goal is to get that down to 8 min/ mile.  My friend, Jeremiah, is helping me train in the evenings.  We have run a couple of times in the last week.  The first run was 4 miles in 34 minutes (8:30 min/ mile).  Whenever I am not sure where my run time is, I start by running four miles.  Army standard is 4 miles in under 36 minutes for both males and females.  So even though I jumped about 4,500 ft in elevation when I moved to Bagram, I am still meeting the Army standard, so the rest is gravy.  The second night, we ran 3 miles in 24 minutes (8:09 min/ mile).  Other than that, I have been doing more yoga to help stretch out my legs and hips.  We also hit the gym for about 15 min of abs and upper body after each run.  I am expecting to see a lot of improvement and am happy to have a solid goal in front of me.

Army: Afghanistan Number 10

Post 10: Week 13

 Ok, I know I have been slacking the last couple of weeks, but I am finally getting back to writing again.  It has been a crazy last couple of weeks.  I have been working on some big projects at work between creating a brief for our brigade commander (and eventually his boss) and working on lean six sigma.  Plus rocket attacks, lack of sleep, football games, cook outs and everything else in between.  It has been a busy couple of weeks.  Plus, it has been nearly in the 100’s around here, and with the heat has come a new form of laziness. I am not looking forward to how July will feel around here.  But, cookies from the St John’s Lutheran church, and cards from the cedar ridge elementary school and tri-valley school (from Bloomington, IL: see pictures), plus a video chat with my pen pals (a fifth grade class from Everglades Elementary School in Okeechobee, FL)  have all been refreshing to my spirit and have given me renewed strength even in this crazy heat.  But, true to my style, here I go again.

Mental: Oh Lean Six Sigma.  This has been a chore.  I have been pouring over a spreadsheet that started with over 40,000 lines of data for my measure phase.  The spreadsheet tracks how we move containers around Afghanistan to include which carriers we use and how much they get paid.  I ended up pulling 400 lines of data out of it, focusing on only the lines that had been completely filled in.  I have been paying special attention to how far something travels and how much we are paying to move it.  Our Master Black Belt (instructor) put my data into minitab (program used to create histograms, pareto charts, etc.) and I am now moving into my analyze phase.  It is hard to know what to focus on and what not to.  There seems to be a lot of things that don’t add up or don’t prove some of my original assumptions about how we move things around. 

Physical: So, as shameful as this is, I haven’t been doing much PT recently.  Any free time I have gotten has pretty much been spent relaxing.  After the last couple of days of getting 9 hours of sleep (amazing right?!), I plan on doing some yoga tomorrow morning, and starting to get back into a regular run/ workout routine so that will be good.  I have been learning to play football and am actually not bad at throwing.  My accuracy has increased a lot and I enjoy the excuse to be outside.  I also have learned what an in, out, slant and hook are.  I guess that’s what happens when you spend this much time with a bunch of guys. 

Financial: So… I may have gotten a tiny bit greedy, but not really.  I currently have one stock that is not performing where I had hoped it would and missed my target price before falling. There was another one that was in the same boat but I ended up selling it for about a 5% profit.   I haven’t lost anything  yet, but on the one I am hoping it will build up a little bit more before I sell.  I set more reasonable limits and am expecting to sell it in the next couple of days.  The hard part is knowing what to invest in next.  Fewer and fewer earnings reports are coming out and that has been my primary method of choosing.  Normally, I look at the earnings report dates and focus on stocks that have EPS greater than 1.00 and are below $30/share.  I may need to rethink this strategy as the earnings reports become scarcer but we shall see. 

Emotional: So, I wish I had something brilliant and inspiring to say on this one.  I wish I could say that I had some marvelous epiphany and had great words of wisdom to share on this one, but I don’t.  All I can say is that I still am struggling to find how to be a good wife when I am in Afghanistan.  I know I am making some progress, but it never feels tangible.  I know even blogging has not only helped my husband to see where I am at, but has made it easier for others to share with him and join in our struggle.  But at the same time, I feel absolutely torn in many directions. Having just past the 1/3 mark, the next 2/3 feels like it will take forever.  My desire to be home and move on with my life is strong and yet, I like it here.  I have found joy in my circumstances and wonder if returning to my previous distractions will take me away from that joy.  I am afraid of losing what I have gained and I am already concerned that the change won’t be lasting.  I have grown as a person immensely here, but I still don’t like change.  It is easier to maintain everything if my circumstances don’t change.  I think that is my hardest emotional struggle right now.  I feel like I am trying to run in two different directions.  I want to stay here and live in the joy I have found and I want to be home and live in the happiness of my home and my marriage and my comforts. 

Spiritual:  I have continued in my scripture readings daily.  I am trying to now read at least twice a day.  I am trying to read through the new testament again as I am reading through the old.  (The old levitical laws of throwing blood around altars still grosses me out, so I found balancing it with the new testament gives me a stronger desire to keep reading as I find the hope the new testament brings).  And my prayers have changed for the better too.  I have been trying to spend more time focusing on asking for forgiveness.  I have never been oblivious to my sin, but I have never taken the time to truly reflect on it and thank God for his mercy and forgiveness and for giving me the power to overcome any of it.  What made me realize I needed to do this was really thinking about Is loving people and wanting to love people better in all circumstances, not just when it is easy.  But I also made the connection to Luke 7:36-50.  It is when Jesus tells of how those who are forgiven little, love little and loves who are forgiven much, love much.  But the difference between those two people (those that are forgiven little and those that are forgiven much) is their attitudes.  If I am never spending time reflecting in how much I need forgiveness, or I take it for granted, I am not going to love very much.  And it is not that I need forgiveness any more or less than the next person because we all have the same need for forgiveness.  God isn’t saying that some people get more forgiveness than others.  The difference is in our attitudes towards God and our realization of how much WE need HIS forgiveness.  I need to spend more time contemplating the things I have already been forgiven for and not take for granted that fact that I am forgiven.  And when I ponder these things in my heart. I can see more and more of God’s love for me and humanity and my desire to live in joy and peace and love other’s grows exponentially.  I need to be forgiven much so that I can love much and love genuinely. 

But there is something else I have been realizing too.  Since I was 14 years old, I have pretty much always had a guy in my life.  And I have always let my faith be dictated by those men.  If they weren’t as spiritual as me, I would hinder myself to “let them catch up” and I, without realizing it, refused to grow in my relationship with the Lord without someone there to grow with.  Even as I got married, I have never wanted to strike out on my own and have my own relationship with the Lord.  I have always rather been dependent upon my husband to fill that need (which isn’t fair to him because it makes him responsible for something I am accountable for).  Since coming to Afghanistan, I am finally stepping on my own, without input really from anyone.  I am running as if to finish my race well and have grown so much since I have gotten here.  And even though I have had multiple conversations (and arguments) regarding faith and the gospel, it hasn’t really caused any growth for me.  It hasn’t encouraged me or discouraged me towards the Lord and I believe it is because he doesn’t intend for it to.  The longer I am here, the more convinced I am that God pulled me out of my comfort zone to finally teach me to rely on him first.  I couldn’t let go of that control and so he put me in the situation where I would have to.   But there are people here I could rely on for spiritual growth, this time it is only about me and Him.  I no longer feel or see a connection between any one person’s spiritual growth and my own and never have I been more FREE.  Never have I been more at peace nor found more joy in my circumstances.  And it is not that Kevin’s spiritual journey isn’t relevant to me; it is that I am no longer dependent upon it.  And my concern is that, upon returning that I would lose what I have found.  That my strength would again be found in my husband and not from God.  I want to protect what I have found and I want to keep it.  I think most people feel that way when they do mission trips (I know I did).  At the end, you don’t want to go home because you don’t want to lose the growth you found because you have never been so reliant upon him and you know that once you get home and back into your routine, you will likely lose it because you won’t have needed God in the same way that you did before. 

But, I have 6 months to figure out how to let this time change me radically and how to make it so strong and firmly apart of who I am that changing my circumstance doesn’t shake who I have become. 

Army: Afghanistan number 6

Lewis doing his silly run (Kevin sent me this pic today. I miss them)

So hello everybody.  I have officially been in Afghanistan for 7 weeks and it has actually been flying.  We have about 31 weeks left to go though, so I still have a ton of time left.   Not much interesting has happened this week and all has been relatively quite for  my unit.  My biggest frustration is not being able to cook.  As people most yummy looking recipes to Facebook (you know who you people are), I have taken to emailing them to myself and labeling them in recipes I want to try.  I miss having my fully stocked kitchen to go home too. 

So here is my weekly update, broken down in my usual style, but I am adding a new category:

Financial: Yes! You read that right, but probably not the way you think.  Kevin and I are the most financially stable we have ever been.  We have only a loan for the house, an emergency fund (but we are constantly putting more towards that), some sort term savings (a savings account through the Army that accrues 10% on up to $10,000) and all of our long term investments covered (stock in his company, 401k, Wroth IRA).  So, as we continue trying to multiply what God has given us, I am trying my hand at trading stocks.  I won't be putting any real money in until mid-April, but we have set aside $2,000 to get me started.  I have already started tracking some since Mar 19th and am not doing too bad.  I don't really plan on day trading or anything like that, but I want to get it started.  I have a good mentor in my unit that has been doing this for awhile and made a lot of money over the passed few years.  He also challenges me to learn about different types of investing (yes, I know what short selling is and how it is one way to make money in a bearish market!) and I am learning a lot.  I am not sure how I will continue to provide updates on this new goal of mine (which is why I haven't written about it before) but I find find a way. 

The only piece of advice/ caveat I can say is this, only put in what you are completely willing to use.  Kevin and I have decided on $2,000 because we won't miss it (in generic terms).  We are already counting it as a loss and plan to never see it again.  I sincerely hope that won't be the case, but if we treat it like it is, even if all of our stock prices drop, we will have the time to hold out and wait for the market to improve.   

Emotional:  To be honest, I don't know that I am doing any better on the wifely front.  This week, I have definitely spent more time talking to Kevin and intentionally setting more time aside for him.  I have been praying for him more specifically and intentionally.  And I have been spending more time each day just reveling in the wonderful husband that I have, but I hardly feel like it is enough.  I know that it is really hard for Kevin when I am gone. And even though this has already turned into a period of growth for both of us, it is very hard to feel like a good wife when I am so far away and very wrapped up in my mission here.  Sometimes, I really wonder if it is possible to be a good wife when I am so far away and I wonder how women in business that involves frequent travel do it.  (Please keep in mind, my definition of a good wife is not just based on fidelity or something based on culture.  My definition can be found in Proverbs 31, Ephesians 5, etc. etc.)

Mental: So, lean six sigma projects are well kicked off and I am already working on my problem statement.  My project is focused on the way things are moved around Afghanistan.  Basically, a long story short is, everything moves in containers and we don't have a very good grasp of what moves, when and to where.  And since the Lean Six Sigma process is all about reducing waste and increasing efficiency, my job to took get a better picture of how things are moving, and then streamline those processes.  It's kind of sad, but my life currently revolves around metal 20 foot containers.  Heck, I even live in one!

Physical:  Alright, so my goal here is a pretty simple one, I have decided that first and foremost, I want to get back to a 300 on my P.T. test.  That means 45 pushups, 78 situps (I think, I always go over in this category), and run 2 miles in under 15:36.  I am pretty close on my pushups, way over on situps (I normally do over 95) and I think I am close on my run.  I think I am going to start doing P.T. tests every couple of weeks to track my progress.  Once I get back to a perfect score (300), then I will focus on strengthening my core and going back to Crossfit.  And, like I have said every week, I really need to get back to my yoga.  I think I am going to try to do yoga every other night or so and do some core and upper body strengthening routines.

Spiritual: First, a praise.  I prayed every night of March without missing!  I am very proud of myself for that.  It is an accomplishment for me, and even more so in that I journaled all of them.  I look forward to reading in the future and seeing all the answered prayers.   Kevin and I have also started a new reading program together.  We are reading through the bible chronologically and I am actually really enjoying it (not something I usually feel in the old testament).  We are about 8 days in, but I think this is something I will have no problem continuing.  It is set up so that we will read through the whole bible in a year, but I am guessing at some point, we will double up so that we will be done before I come home.

Army: From Afghanistan, Update Number 3

Alright, I am going to try to keep this short since I need to go to bed.  But since I am due for another update, here it is.  I have been in Afghanistan almost a month now, and I am honestly enjoying it.  As much as I worried about not being able to (or maybe just not wanting to) find joy and peace away from my husband, I can honestly say that I have.  I love Kevin as much now as I ever have and I hope that we can continue to find ways to connect.

A lot of people have been asking how they can pray for me while I am here and I guess the biggest things to pray about are: that God would bless my marriage over the distance, and for safety as I should start traveling out on missions very soon.  But don't worry too much, my commander is only allowing me to go out on the ones that he deems as safe. But, by the end of the month, I should have already traveled at least once to a closing base.

So here are my updates in my four goals format:

Physical- I have continued doing Crossfit 3 nights a week and I really have been enjoying it.  This week will be my last week of beginners classes and once I am done, I intend to diversify my workouts with cross fit, gym time, running and yoga.  I am actually hoping to suppliment my Crossfit workouts this week with some yoga too.  The biggest challenge for me doing crossfit right now is my lack of flexibility, especially when it comes to my hamstrings and quadriceps.  And if I can work on stretching more and increasing my flexibility, it should make my form better, and the workouts more beneficial.

Spiritual-  I have had a solid week of prayer journaling! I feel bad that this is the accomplishment it is, but prayer is definitely something I have a hard time with.  I have also been going to church on Sunday, bible study on Tuesday and tomorrow I will even get to attend a prayer breakfast.  I feel really blessed by the chaplain services here and am grateful for them.  The down side is I am still not in good reading habits.   I wake up intending to read the bible, but once I go to conduct personal hygiene and get back to my room, I have forgotten or just gotten distracted.  This is definitely something I need to work on.  My husband is in the process of getting us a couple of books that we can read through parts of the bible together (my small group back home just did this where we read through the new testament in 8 weeks and I loved the format and was really encouraged to read it without chapters and verses).  So hopefully that will help.  I am also thinking I need to just read at night before praying.  I think the mornings would be more beneficial, but I would get the most benefit out of just reading the bible period, so I need to work on that.

For those of you who aren't on facebook/ didn't see, I had my roommate cut off my pony tail so I can donate my hair to locks of love.

Emotional- I feel like Kevin and I are connecting well and talking frequently, but I am not sure how good of a wife I have been this past week.  It is hard for me to come up with ways to be a better wife to my husband.  I pray for him daily but I want something more.  I want him to feel loved, appreciated, cherished and respected even when I am on the opposite side of the world, and I am honestly not sure how to do that.  I am open to suggestions if anyone has them.  Most people just think of sending gifts home, and though that is nice every now and again, my husband and I tend neither to love nor feel loved by giving gifts and spending money.  And given that Kevin's love languages are probably physical touch and quality time, I am not sure how to love him best from here.  I think I need to find new ways to make him feel loved based on what I can do, like words of affirmation and small gifts, instead of trying to be the same wife I would be back in the U.S.

After pic of me with my new hair cut.

Mental-  So, I have been listening a little bit to my real estate lectures (law and practice- blech!) but I haven't written it into my schedule very much.  I am still kind of waiting to find out if I will get to do a Lean Six Sigma Black Belt project, because I want to do that and it might be better for me in the long run.  And if I take up what is left of my free time doing that, then I am going to have a huge break in my real estate classes and I will probably want to start over from the beginning since I haven't gotten that far anyway.  That way, the material is also the freshest in my mind when I get home and want to take the exam.  

Army: About Time I Posted Again

Alright, so here is my second update from Afghanistan.  Life is going pretty good and I am finally getting into the swing of things.  The work isn't as hard as it was when I first got here and the hours aren't as long.  Starting next week, I should get a couple of mornings off a week, which is great, because I love to sleep!!!!

But I want to keep my update in terms of my goals so whoever is reading this (and my counter keeps going up, so I know you are out there!) can help keep me on track.  I'll consider it my online accountability.

Emotional- So, my emotional goal really ties in with my spiritual one.  This week, I have really tried to be a good wife by praying for my husband every day and spending the time to reflect on him.  For his birthday, even though even when I am stateside we don't normally do much, I decided to surprise him by ordering cupcakes to be delivered to his work.  It doesn't seem like much to me, but I want to continue to try and find ways to love my husband better when I don't have a lot of time to do it.  And I also don't want to get into a habit of trying to compensate my time with money spent on him (afterall, it is OUR money anyway, so spending it on him doesn't make a lot of sense). 

Spiritual- I have reached my goal this week of praying every night.  I have said I want to journal, but I didn't expect I would turn to e-journaling.  I want to get back to putting my prayers on paper, so I need to set aside time coming up to copy my old ones down from my tablet and writing them in the beautiful leather bound journal my Dad gave me for Christmas.  I have also been working on reading my bible every morning, which I have to admit, I am not very good at.  After our small group just finished reading through the new testament, I am just not sure what to do next.  I have been trying to focus on Galatians since that is what our bible study (our Chaplain just started it this past Tuesday!) is going through. 

Physical-  So this week, I have started doing CrossFit and I love it! I love the intensity and our beginners classes are great.  The instructors are volunteers who all instruct at gyms back in the U.S. who love what they do and want to share it with others.  They take the time to explain what right looks like, what wrong looks like, what muscles you should feel movements in, and which muscles you shouldn't.  I do an hour every Monday, Wednesday, Friday and my boss has been really supportive (so long as I have my work done, of course!).  I have completed 3 out of the 9 beginner classes.  Once I finish with these, I think I will do CrossFit Tuesday and Thursday mornings, Monday and Friday run 3+ miles, Wednesday hit the gym for a core workout, and keep Saturday as an open workout for whatever I feel like doing.  Sunday is my day of rest of course.  I am intrigued to see what CrossFit will do for my P.T. test score.

Mental- So my mental goal has shifted a bit.  I still want to get my real estate classes done (which I haven't had much movement on this week), but I have found I have an amazing opportunity here.  I have the opportunity to become a Lean Six Sigma black belt.  The jist is, I will be working on a project for the next 6 months that measures efficiency in some part of the Army system and I will get to mathematically find a way to fix it and potentially truly change it.  For a Lieutenant, this is my best dream.  I love the possibility of influencing the Army in a postive way and truly changing things.  I am sure as I get into, I will slowly become more  negative as it takes more time away.  But, I should come out on the other side which will give me a certification I can use in the civilian world.  I haven't had a black belt project approved, but if I do, that average salary on the outside is somewhere around $120,000.  If I get bumped down to a step below or a green belt project (which I don't think will happen, but it definitely could), the average salary goes down to about $90,000 in the civilian world.  And I really think it could help me start my own business.  So I am excited about that and will be putting a lot of my effort towards it.  Once it is finished, I will hit my real estate classes hardcore. 

Army: First Blog From Afghanistan

So here it is, my first blog from Afghanistan, now that I have internet in my room.

I don't have much for you all, mostly because this whole past week and a half has been a blur.  I've been in Afghanistan for about a week now and most of my time has just been spent learning my new job and getting to know those who work around me.  I actually have an NCO who works specifically for me now.  The work has been easy because the outgoing unit is still here so there are two people working every job.  But that also makes our work space very crowded and there isn't really enough room for everyone at once.   But it is fine, because once the unit we are replacing leaves, things will get much more difficult.

I also have plenty of amenities.  There is a pizza hut, burger king, and I think popeyes right next to where I live.  The board walk has lots of electronics and food (there is even a TGI Fridays), but I am avoiding spending money on junk for now.  Soldiers spend there paychecks on a lot of crap around here.  And everyone has old school prepaid cell phones.  Unfortunately, they don't have many girly product options, like soaps, lotions, chap stick, body spray, make up removing clothes, etc, so feel free to send that sort of stuff if you would like.  

Yes, everyone has cell phones here. Even me!

Aside from that, everyone talks about deployment goals.  People say that during deployments, they want to get buff or learn a language, or something along those lines, so here are my goals:

Spiritual: I want to get in the habit of praying every day, and not just for my food. I am not usually good about praying and I know that it is probably the best way to love people.  To just sit down and pray for the people I can't always talk to whenever I want, and rely on God to take care of them and me.  To do this, I have actually started a prayer journal so I can keep track of my prayers and after the deployment is over, I can see which ones God has answered.

Mental: I want to complete my real estate courses online.  This should be a pretty easy goal.  I haven't gotten any farther into it since I left, but that was because I didn't have internet.  I am hoping to get my next lesson done this weekend.

Emotional: I want to learn to be a better wife to my husband.  The most honest thing I can say about this time is that we are likely going to grow apart.  That's just how it is.  It's like going from being married and sharing every aspect of your life with someone, to something less than dating, where we can talk for short periods of time almost daily, but can't even be in the same room together.  This will be emotionally taxing.  While I was at NTC, I felt terrible because I felt like I was single, not like a wife.  (Not for any other reason than I didn't get to talk to my husband much and I felt like I wasn't really able to share my life with him).  So, I want to have realistic expectations, but I also want to find new and more creative ways to be a good, loving, respectful wife to my husband while I am far away from him.

Physical: So don't laugh, but I want to get a six-pack this deployment.  Mostly, I just want to tone my muscles, but my measure of success is a six-pack.  I already have a pretty flat tummy, so I figure it's not that far off.  Plus I have always had good core strength.  But we will see!

That's all I have got for now.  I am hoping to keep you all updated on my goals as I continue through this deployment!


Also, I think I am going to cut my hair.  It seems like the perfect time!

Life: The things that keep me healthy

So,  this blog is a pretty simple one.  It covers a few of the products that I use to stay healthy.

The obvious one is the Army.  With our workouts, which we call PT (physical training), every morning for an hour and a half, you think it would be easy to stay healthy.  And this was once true, but since I work for the battalion, I find myself working during PT more often than I would like.  And since I have to be at the office by 0545 now, and am lucky to get off by 1700 , it doesn't give me much time at home to get the things I need to (especially for deployment) done and still get plenty of sleep!  So, when given the opportunity  I almost always sleep in.  Plus, I am not a morning person! I would much rather stay up late and wake up sometime after the sun, than be on the Army's schedule.  And, even though some say I will get used to it, I have been getting up at or before 6 multiple days a week for ten years and I still haven't "gotten used to it"  I don't think I ever will.  Anyway, most of the Army's workouts (especially in my unit) includes a lot of running.  I know for my age, weight and body type, a mile run burns about 105 calories.  So, the Army is great for just burning calories, but since it doesn't always happen, I have to add other things to my life.  (If you want help tracking your runs, walks, hikes or just about anything else, I recommend downloading the free Endomondo app from either the play store, or the app store).  

When I can't get P.T. into my daily routine, I love doing Yoga.  My sister-in-law put me on to an amazing website to help, too.  I always found that if I did dvds that I wouldn't keep it up, because eventually I would get bored doing the same routines.  And finding time going to classes is way more difficult than making sure I get to do PT.  Plus, most gyms and studios charge (and that's frequently about $10/ class).  But yogaglo.com is different.  With Yogaglo, you can pick any time duration from 5- 120 minutes, you can pick your level, your style of yoga, a specific instructor, a specific body part... whatever you want! And it is only $18/ month (and you can cancel anytime).  Plus there are literally thousands of videos because they are uploading them all of the time from a studio in California.  You can schedule them for yourself, pick your favorites and add them to your queue.  And for me, yoga has been such a big part of my recovery (see 

Health & Exercise: Yoga daily, Health & Exercise: Yoga Update and Health & Exercise: Learning to Read Your Body to read more about why I do yoga and how amazing it has been for me).  

But that isn't all, of course.  Occasionally, I find myself putting on a few pounds (I fluctuate up and down about 5 pounds during the year).  And when I get to the higher end, I like to retrain my body.  The problem for me is, I work out a ton for awhile, and I get used to eating the calories to back it up.  Then I go through lulls of not working out as much, or eating really unhealthily and it puts on the weight.  Now, a few pounds may not bother most people, but my thought line is that a few pounds can add up fast.  Most people who are overweight don't notice until it is too late, or maybe they just don't want to.  It is much easier to maintain the weight that you are comfortable with, than yoyo-ing constantly.  So, when I start to realize I am adding the pounds back on, or I am just eating too much, I start counting calories.  I like to use Loseit!  You can use their website or their apps to help you track meals and exercise, create weight loss goals, and even create your own recipes so you know how many calories are in your home cooked food.  You can also add friends (making you more likely to achieve your goals).  I mostly like to track calories to retrain my body for how much food I should be eating and to get comfortable "eating less" which is actually the correct amount for my desired healthy weight.  Plus, since it's not really dieting, you can feel free to cheat! If there is a potluck, or your celebrating a birthday dinner, don't worry.  Eat whatever and then go back to tracking the next day!

And last but not least, my husband and I recently started getting Organic Groceries delivered to our door, thanks to our friend Jordan.  Door to Door Organics charges a flat rate for boxes of varying sizes.  You pick the size box you want, how frequently you want it delivered and if you want fruits, vegetables or both.  You can create lists of vegetables you don't like, or ones you love and they try to accommodate.  And you can sub out items for ones of similar values if you want to change something.  Plus, you can then add additional fruits, vegetables, meats, bakery items, or dairy if you want.  And, for all of their food, you know that it is organic, but you can also find non-GMO, locally grown or made in the USA organic foods.  It is always fresh and wonderful! I would highly recommend checking them out.     

And last but not least, when my neck and shoulders are out of sorts, or the stress is piling on, I love getting Nueromuscular Massages from Parker at The Shade Tree Massage Therapy.  Her prices are great for the amazing work she does.  I will definitely be missing her while I am deployed!

Health & Exercise: Learning to Read Your Body

So, this is an odd blog post, but it was something Kevin and I were talking about and he suggested I blog about it.

The photo that brought Vietnam into American homes.

I have always been amazed by some of the worlds most exclusive societies.  Mostly, that of devote monks.  I'm sure you've heard stories of them: those that can control their heartbeat down to almost deathly levels, those that can control their body temperature regardless of the temperature outside, those that walk on hot coals, those that can withstand any pain, etc.  The most infamous in our time would be Thich Quang Duc who set himself on fire (also called self-immolation) to protest the treatment of Buddhist's in South Vietnam by the Catholic government in the middle of a busy town square.

The amount of self-control these people have generated and the degree to which they are in tune with their bodies has always fascinated me.  The ability to manipulate the body with the mind is astounding.  Even something as simple as the placebo effect shows how much power the mind has over the body.

But I am actually starting to learn that this is far from the realm of only achievable for the extremely devote, it's for anyone. Maybe not at the "set yourself on fire in protest" level, but at the very basic one.  My bouts into massage therapy and yoga have started me on this journey without me realizing.  I'm not going to go into my reasons for needing trigger point massage since I blogged it before (see My Journey into Alternative Therapies) and I know I have blogged a couple of times about my journey into yoga (see Yoga Daily and Yoga Update), but ultimately, these two things have helped me become more in tune with my body and how it feels.  Because of the massage therapy, I am starting to be able to identify which muscles are tight and causing me problems.  I don't know these muscles by name, but i know where they are and where they go (like the muscle that is currently giving me trouble starts in the back of the leg and comes up around my hip towards my abdomen, which, by the way, is very difficult to stretch).  The yoga also helps in this.  While I am stretching, I can actually feel when my muscles aren't opening up and creating circulation properly.  My flexibility has improved, but I am still not fully able to reach each yoga position.  Yet even still, I can tell when my circulation has increased properly in certain muscles, when I need to spend more time in a position and when the stretch needs to go deeper.

I was talking to my massage therapist about this and she told me that this is actually the natural progression for those doing yoga.  (If you are doing yoga and are becoming more flexible  but you aren't more in tune with your body, you are probably doing something wrong.)  But the odd thing was what she told me next.  Parker told me that next I need to work on sending my breath to the areas where I know I need more oxygen rich blood.  Now this is still weird to me, but it is basically identifying which muscles I want to send my breath to, really considering as I breath in and then think about that breath as it enters my body and sort of push it to the area I want.

This is still really odd to me and I haven't really figured it out at all yet, if I even can, but I figured I would give another update and share how far things have come for me.   I will write another update if I manage to figure out how to really direct my breaths and hopefully then I might be able to explain it better.

Health & Exercise: Yoga Update

So, after a week of doing yoga, I thought I would give a brief update.

I am already finding my flexibility improving.  Aside from missing a couple of sessions, I have been pretty good about staying consistent and I am already noticing an improvement.  Now, obviously, it hasn't been miraculous and the splits are still totally out of the question, but I can already feel myself being able to reach farther and stretch more.  I am also at a point of having both the Sun Salutation and Moon Salutation completely memorized.  Last week, I did 2 Sun Salutations and 1 Moon Salutation daily.  This week, I will do 3 Sun Salutations and 2 Moon Salutations daily and see how that goes.

After more work with my Parker, my massage therapist who does my trigger point massage, she says that my muscles are much shorter than they should be in some places.  That happens after lactic acid builds up (from improper stretching after exercise) and then calcifies.  This pushes muscles fibers out of the way and causes them to shorten from the tension.  As those muscles shorten and pull, it is going to pull on the opposite muscles too.  So, for instance, likely my issues started in my pectorals (the muscles in your chest).  As they shortened, they pulled my shoulders forward causing my aforementioned shoulder pain.  My shoulders no being properly aligned pulled on my back muscles and my back muscles pulled on my hips and neck.  

Thus, part of my therapy needs to be not only breaking up the lactic acid and increase circulation, but also stretching and lengthening my muscles.  This is going to make it so that my recovery lasts longer and my body heals properly.  There are many forms of exercise that increase flexibility and give a good stretch but I chose yoga for one reason. It's all stretching! I work out to build muscle and increase endurance but what I really needed was a good stretch and so that is what I am going to focus on.  And so far... so good!

Health & Exercise: Yoga daily

So, I get a lot of questions about what workouts are like for us Army people.  Well, right now, my Army workouts are decidedly lacking in stretching.  Another time, I will post how I have gotten myself into a position where health care professionals believe that stretching needs to be apart of my workout routine but the important part is, it does.

Before, I used to get most of my stretching out of Tae Kwon Do.  I was actually President of the Illini Tae Kwon Do Club in college and was an assistant instructor.  Anyone who remembers me during practice probably also remembers my inflexibility.  I have always been inflexible, but taking stretching out of my workouts has not only made my inflexibility worse, but it has also hurt my overall fitness levels.  (Flexibility is one of the five components of fitness).

But the important part in Tae Kwon Do wasn't about being more bendy than a bendy-straw, it was about constant improvement and effort.  However, I am no longer in a position to continue taking Tae Kwon Do classes because of time and scheduling as well as the money issue.  So, I needed to find a good exercise routine that focused on stretching and, of course, yoga came to mind.

Not knowing much about it except that it has the same principles towards flexibility as Tae Kwon Do, I started asking questions.  I learned the Sun Salutation from a free class on Wednesday mornings at the Iron Horse Physical Fitness Center on Fort Carson.  My massage therapist (who will likely come up again), Parker, also mentioned that there was a Moon Salutation.

So here is the basics of both.  The Sun Salutation is a great set of stretches to help you start the day and increase circulation. It helps boost your energy and a couple of iterations can take less than ten minutes.  Here is a link to the video I use in the mornings: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2VSdskq73g&list=FLT66Y_-UNAry38C3t9Jm6MQ&index=1&feature=plpp_video.  The Moon Salutation is a great way to stretch out before bed without waking yourself up.  It takes less than five minutes to go through a couple of iterations.  In fact, it usually makes me yawn and more ready for bed.  Here is the link to the video I use in the evenings: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1eF-Wl2AlU&list=FLT66Y_-UNAry38C3t9Jm6MQ&index=2&feature=plpp_video.  And of course, all you need is some space to stretch out and a tablet or computer, or even phone with some YouTube access.

Our living room.  My preferred Yoga room for some obvious reasons. 

So, this has just become part of my daily exercise routine.  It only adds about 15 minutes (at most), of exercise to my day, but I am already noticing subtle differences.  However, it means being diligent when I get up in the morning, before physical training (PT) and before I go to bed.  And getting up even a little bit earlier always sucks when you aren't a morning person (which I am not and am convinced I never will be).  But, I figure this is part of what starting a blog is for, some degree of accountability.  As a way for me to hold myself accountable to this new commitment.  And heck, maybe some day I will be flexible enough to post a video of the routine I go through.  But for now, I will just need to stick with it and see how it goes.  And for those of you that need a little boost of energy in the morning or need a chance to clear your head at the end of the day (which is such a stress reliever and can really help you sleep), should give it a try too!