Life: Two trimesters down, one to go!

It's officially my last trimester! 26 weeks later and I figured it was about time for another update.  It feels good to be over the hump of knowing that if Joshua comes, he can survive.  Obviously, I want him to wait and develop fully and healthily but it is very comforting to know that he can come at any time.  In a couple of weeks, the Army restricts my work hours to no more than 8 hours a day, no more than 40 hours a week.  And yes, I am supposed to work up until my delivery day (unless the doctor's give me bed rest).

At this point in the pregnancy, I have been enjoying the normal symptoms of nosebleeds, heart burn, sciatic pain and low energy levels.  I have gained 20 pounds exactly  as of this morning and Joshua is kicking like crazy.  Kevin felt the kicking for the first time last week but it was off and on.  Now, if Joshua is kicking towards my front, my stomach moves noticeably.  It has become very distracting because now when I feel him kicking, I automatically want to look and see if I can see it.  Mostly he seems to like kicking me in the back, stomach and bladder.  

We've already put the crib together and got the bedding and wall decorations. We are waiting until we pick his dedication verse and then we will stencil it on his way and put the decals around it.  I am currently studying the book of Joshua during my daily readings for inspiration.  We have a few possibilities already, but our intention with the verse we choose is to help define the character we want our children to have.  

We have also been doing a fair amount of reading and have made a few "decisions" about life when Joshua comes and how we want to raise him.  I put "decisions" in quotes because these are mostly just the things we intend to try first.  For instance, we have just started talking about doing a birth plan and my current preference is to attempt a natural birth.  However, I am not opposed to getting anesthetic if that's how I feel once contractions start.  Similiarly, we have decided that once Joshua gets here, we intend to do the 90 Minute Baby Sleep Program.  Additionally, Kevin and I have decided that our child care choice is to use a nanny.  We will be waiting until his arrival is much closer to hire someone, but we will be using Sittercity to make our selection.  The last thing we have decided is that we are dropping most every commitment that we have outside of our jobs.  Since most of Joshua's time is going to be spent with the nanny, we both feel that it is really important to spend our time off with Joshua.  Not to mention the fact that unlike in most American sitcoms, we are expecting our life to change and revolve around fulfilling Joshua's needs.  Now, that's not to say we won't add things back to our social calendar as we feel able, but it will only be after we are sure that those things fit in the parameters of the type of parents we want to be.  

I think that's about it.  Just three short months left until Joshua is here and I think it will go fast and then slow.  Mostly because Kevin and I are taking a trip to Florida with my family at the end of the month and we are taking a trip back to Illinois in August (for a friend's bridal shower!) and a trip in early September for my baby shower.  And after all that traveling in the period of about a month, we will be coming home just to wait until Joshua arrives in mid-October.  

Baby: It's a...!!!!!

We are officially 21 weeks which means we are over halfway to meeting our sweet baby!  And as we passed our 20 week mark, we had our twenty week ultrasound.  And with that comes our first chance to see our baby's gender.  And the great news is... It's a boy!!!!

20 weeks, 11 oz and due on October 18th!

Now, for those of you who haven't heard, Kevin guessed the gender within 5 minutes of the second line appearing on the stick!  He very boldly declared that it was a boy and hasn't wavered from that since. His mom was, from my understanding, just as certain as he was.  Meanwhile, my mom was quite certain we were having a girl.

I was pretty much just on the fence in the beginning of the pregnancy.  When we had our first ultrasound between weeks 11 and 12, the first thing I said when I saw baby was "wow, look at him!"  But that is as close as I ever got to guessing the gender.  And even then, I didn't feel any certainty.  And while Kevin was still guessing it was a boy, we both knew we wouldn't have any disappointment either way.

Farney family (Kevin's Dad is center)

Now the next question is always, do we have a name picked out and if so, are we telling people.  The answer to both is yes.  Not surprisingly, we had our names picked out before we even got pregnant.  Our son's name is Joshua David Farney.  It was a pretty easy choice.  In Kevin's family, the boys' middle names are normally named after a family member.  And this being the first baby boy since Kevin's Dad has passed, we knew we wanted to name him after him.  So, that is where the middle name David came from.  We also knew we wanted to name our children after people in the bible, with names that have meanings that we hope our children strive for.  We want the names to help shape the identity and personality of our children.  Aside from David being the name of Kevin's Dad, it also means "beloved" which is very fitting for our little boy.  After picking the middle name, we went through a lot of options for the first name before finally landing on Joshua, which means "YAHWEH is salvation".  We thought both names not only had rich meaning, but are also named for two very strong biblical figures whose lives' are worth emulating.  So there it is, Joshua David Farney (or J.D. if he so chooses).

20 weeks!

As a quick pregnancy update, I will say that the morning sickness is completely over (Praise the Lord!).  However, it has been pretty much replaced with acid reflux.  It doesn't seem to matter what I eat, some days it is just worse than others.  Most of the time it is manageable, though if it gets much worse, I am probably going to need to start sleeping in a chair instead of my comfy bed.  It has already stopped me from running (which was upsetting my stomach even more), so that's a bummer.  Aside from that, I am experiencing low back pain and a slight return to my energy levels. I am extremely thankful not to have swollen feet, stretch marks or spider veins and am hoping none of those are coming.  I also started feeling flutters at my 18th week.  My placenta has a front position (though off centered to the right) so I mostly feel baby's movements when his feet are on my left side.   The movements are becoming more pronounced and I can feel a larger variety of movements every day.  Kevin, of course, is really looking forward to when he will be able to feel Joshua moving too!

We are still planning on a pond themed nursery (turtles and froggies and ducks! Oh my!) with mostly green and yellow.  I might go a little crazy every time I see something with a frog or turtle, but I haven't bought anything since we found out (mostly because Kevin has been the voice of reason on the matter)!  I have spent a fair amount of time on Pinterest, and etsy.com looking at nursery ideas though.  It's really addicting!  I also started registering for a few items at target.com (though will probably add a lot more when baby is closer to coming home).  And last night, we went to Babies R Us to do our main registry.  I won't lie, it is really hard to look at all the cute baby stuff without buying anything!  In case you are interested in seeing all the cute things I have found, all the links are posted below.  It is going to be hard to be patient and wait for baby showers, but I am sure Kevin will help keep me sane/ practical!

BabiesRUs - Baby Registry
Target
Etsy
Pinterest

Life: We're expecting our first child!

Alright, I know I have suspiciously absent from blogging for the last few months.  At first, it was just the business of having friends and family coming to visit and hitting the slopes during any down time we had, but then that reason changed.  On February 13th, Kevin and I found out that we are expecting our first child.We kept the news mostly to ourselves until week 8 and decided that after we told our family, we wouldn't put anything online until we reached our second trimester (when the risk of miscarriage is greatly reduced).

Baby's first rattle- From my mom

13 weeks

We have had our first ultrasound and our due date has been set for October 19th.  It is hard to believe that we will have a baby  before the holidays even hit.  (If you didn't know, Kevin and I had decided to stop preventing children at the new year and had thus expected to it take the average 3-6 months to get pregnant. Instead it took less than 45 days). Kevin declared it as a boy the first night we found out while I wasn't feeling either way.  I still really don't feel any one way, but when we first saw baby moving and playing on the ultrasound, I said, "Wow! Look at him." So we shall see.  Neither of us are really hoping one way to another, but I think it is fun to try to guess.  We have every intention of finding out the sex at our 20 week appointment.

Assorted books- from my mom

Book from Aunt Heather

The Army has been both frustrating and extremely helpful during this time.  I didn't have my first appointment until week 8 and that was just an intake appointment (no ultrasound, just some lab work and family history) and I had my first ultrasound in week 11.   The Army is pretty good about not doing an unnecessary testing (unlike a regular physician who can get away with charging insurance companies for extra ultrasounds that don't really have a purpose) which is both good and frustrating.  Naturally, I would have wanted to see baby much earlier, but at the same time, I appreciate the idea of not indulging everyone of my wants.  I have also been going to pregnancy physical training instead of my normal unit PT.  This includes one day a week of prenatal yoga, one day of pool PT, two days of either cardio or light weight training and one day of classes.  The classes are taught my nurses and midwives that cover a range of topics from how STDs can affect pregnancy and delivery to nutrition to delivery methods.  It really helps that instead of having a bunch of extra appointments during the day, most of our education occurs during our regular hours and I know that if I have a question, I will see a nurse that week (though with my step mom and best friend both being doctors, I normally just text one of them when I have a question).

Soft ducky- from my mom

For those wondering, and since I have already been asked, this doesn't change anything about me being in the Army.  I got pregnant with every intention of staying in.  Technically, my commitment is up next May, but I plan on staying in past that at this point.  Yes, I can get out of the Army now that I am pregnant but no, I am not planning to.  Even if I change my mind after baby's here, (which I know some of you may be hoping for) I will at least stay in until next May and fulfill the commitment I first made.  Kevin and I timed it this way so that we would almost be forced to try and make things work with us both working.  I am not the type of person to quit because something is tough, but I will quit if I decide this is something I don't want to do anymore.  If I am being perfectly honest, I cannot imagine that I won't want to be in the Army after baby is here.  I love my job and though I am

Baby's first piggy bank- from my mom

sure I could find success elsewhere, I appreciate the structure and responsibility that doesn't exist outside our military.  If I am not in the Army, I will probably be a stay at home mom, at least for a while.   So, the question will be "do I want to be at home with baby more than I want to be in the Army?"  At this point, Kevin and I are planning on me being in until 2017/18.  If plans change, they change.  If I go for twenty years, then awesome.  If I decided I am done after my four, then so be it.

Baby's first ducky- from my mom

As far as my first trimester of pregnancy, I started getting morning sickness at week five and by week six, I had already moved into nausea with vomiting.  I have experienced a few other symptoms too (congestion, nose bleeds, fatigue, cravings, food aversions and pretty much everything in between too) and that has changed some things around our house.  For instance, I haven't been cooking much and Kevin has had to do some of the grocery shopping.  But things are slowly returning back to normal.  In fact, yesterday we hiked 12 miles to the top of a mountain and back (about 4500 ft in elevation change).  I plan on continuing to hike, but I am not sure that we will be doing any more mountain climbing as I get bigger (mostly because of the risk of falling on the snow and ice that is still up around the 10,000 ft mark).  We cut our ski season short this year in part because of the risk of falling (not much for me), but more because the morning sickness pretty much killed any desire I had to get up early and be in a car for two and a half hours.  The only weird food things have been that for the first time in my life I don't want anything to do with vegetables (which I normally love) and have only really been able to do raw carrots and I haven't really wanted chocolate (super weird for me).  I have craved McDonald's (so weird!) and Chipotle (not surprising!).

Kevin and I hiking

Bible- from my mom

Kevin and I have only bought a couple of things for baby.  The first is a bag I intend to use as a diaper bag.  I bought it during a thirty-one benefit party for Caring-for-Carter.  I bought a bag called the city weekender (may look small in the pic but it is definitely a bag for an adult with enough room for a couple of changes of clothes, etc.).  I figured it was perfect since I didn't really need or want a new purse, and this is the type of thing I can use on weekend trips after baby doesn't need a diaper bag anymore.  The second item we bought is a play yard.  We decided to buy this early since our 8 month old niece will be staying with us in a couple of weeks and we didn't have any place for her to stay.  We pretty much went with the most expensive model because it packs compactly and will be perfect for our trips back to Illinois.  It has a removable bassinet with a stand, a changing table, storage under the changing table area, a raised bassinet and then the normal play pen for when baby gets bigger.  I sent my sister-in-law a picture to let her know we have a place for our niece to sleep and she told me that her and her husband were planning on getting us a pack in play as a gift so that they could use it during their visit!  I just had to laugh that we had the exact same idea, I was just faster at ordering.  Also bought were onesies to announce we were expecting to aunts and uncles, and some bottles, blankets, jammies and a toy to tell my mom.  But none of those things are here with me and I don't have pictures, sorry.

Baby's first onesie- from Michelle

We have also had a few people already starting to buy baby gifts.  My friend Michelle technically got the first baby gift (but she was also told early as I felt horribly guilty.  I am supposed to be a bridesmaid in her wedding on October 18th and baby is due the next day!)  Naturally, since we met in college, she bought baby's first Illini gear.  My mom came in second with a silver rattle, a duck toy (we are going pond themed for the nursery since it is gender neutral), and a piggy bank.  Since then, I only know of one toy that has been bought by my mom and a bunch of books.  My mom and sister have made it their mission to create baby's library.  

Army: Afghanistan number 11

Post 11: Week 15
Ok, so I know, it is about dang time that I posted again.  Today, I want to start with a few shout outs of things I have missed back home in the states.  First off, I want to congratulate my sister on completing grad school and heading out to Wyoming to to be the assistant stage manager for a musical called South Pass  that my dad will also be staring in.  I also want to congratulate my brother on his high school graduation.  I know he is waiting expectantly on a couple of job offers and is also looking at going back to school in the fall.  Whatever he chooses to do does not matter to me, because I am very proud of him.  These are just two big moments in my siblings lives that I am unfortunately missing as I sit in the sand box.

But on another note, I am moving to a different base next week.  Our battalion is jumping locations and I am trying to plan/ manage a lot of moving pieces (with a lot of help of course).  But I just got back a couple of days ago from our leader's recon and am feeling pretty comfortable with the plan.  That being said, my next update will not be until I am settled in my new location.  So here is my update:

Physical: So, somewhere along the way, I have lost approximately five pounds in the past couple of weeks.  I am feeling really healthy and good, even though I am noticing several knots reappearing in my neck and shoulders (see old post for reference).  Kevin sent me some peppermint oil though, so hopefully that will help and I can avoid some very painful headaches.  As for PT, I have been mostly focused on push ups and situps but not nearly in the frequency with which I need to be. Now that the highs are in the 100's every day here, I feel like my desire to work out has diminished greatly.  Plus, I really need to get packing so that I am prepared to move next week. Hopefully while I am packing and unpacking, I can find my motivation to work out.  I am sure it is around here somewhere.. it is just a matter of finding it.

Mental: So, now that I am getting farther into Lean Six Sigma and I am understanding the class materials better, I am taking a second look at my data and doing a bit of recapturing.  The jist of what I am doing is trying to take as many trucks off the road as possible and creating efficiency in our movements.  Taking trucks off the roads takes Soldiers off the roads and I think everyone can understand why we would want to do that.  But aside from that, putting trucks on the road costs money, usually to the tune of several thousand dollars for each trip.  So what I am looking at is getting the right stuff, to the right location, the first time.  And I finally feel like all of that is starting to come together.

Emotional:  I don't even know where to start with this one.  Work has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster, but that is hardly surprising given our plate right now.  Relocating a battalion is no simple feat and this one looks like it will be taking a majority of my time for awhile. But at the same time, I have been relaxed.  I am really at a place of comfort in my job.  Nothing I am given feels challenging any more and I have confidence in my success.  I am ready for the next job or task the Army has for me and I look forward to it.  As far as being a wife goes, I am experiencing frustration at living a different life than my husband.  I normally cycle through this every now and again after I process the inevitability of the situation.  There are days when I am very ready to be home and there are days when I am really glad to be here.  I can say that there are a lot of people I look forward to meeting when I get home, to include families and babies.  There are new people in Kevin's life that I am very interested in meeting and some that I have only communicated with online.  And of course, babies are just babies and I look forward to holding them all!!!!

Financial: So, I just sold off another stock today at a 15% profit.  Unfortunately, that leaves me currently stock-less and between trying to get ahead on my Lean Six Sigma project while also preparing to move, I don't think I will be picking any new ones up in the next couple weeks.  But, since earnings reports have lulled, I am not too worried about it.  My overall gain since starting just over 6 weeks ago has averaged to 20% or so and I am good with that.

Spiritual: So, I have been praying and reading my bible every night for the last three months and I am very grateful for how much growth I have seen.  When I look at my prayers from when I first got here, I can see a lot more selfishness and a general brevity.  Along the way, God has taught me to spend more time thinking about him and less time thinking about myself.  And I have learned  a lot of humility in praying for forgiveness of my sins, my shortfalls and my weaknesses.  It has given me a new found love for other people as I realize how much Christ has saved me from myself.  He is made perfect in my weaknesses so why I am not willing to admit all the more that I have so many of them.

Wife: Preparing for Deployment (Part 1)

So, as I am preparing to leave for Afghanistan in less than a month, there are many things that bog down my mind.  There are the regular thoughts about how life will be down-range, and wondering if the time will go by fast. But probably my biggest question is "How am I going to be a good wife when I am in Afghanistan?"  "How do I not feel like I am single when I am living on my own?" and "How do I make my husband feel like he has a wife that loves him from the other side of the world?"

The answer to this question isn't singular.  The first answer is prayer.  I am slowly learning that the best way to love my husband, is to spend time each day praying for him.  Though I will be able to call him frequently, I am already realizing that no matter how much we talk it will never be enough.  I can't talk to him about everything in the time we will have, so the best way to love him, is to pray that God will take care of him and comfort him every moment I am not there.  The joy and peace that brings unity is only going to come from God.

The second answer is to spend time each day dedicated to thinking about my husband and reveling in the man who stole my heart.  It's about taking the time to remember who my husband is and all he's done for me.  I am sure some of the moments in my life I will revisit often include the day he proposed, our wedding day, the trips we have taken and the things we have done together.  Spending time remembering the wonderful things my husband has done for me is going to help remind me not only why I fell in love with him, but also why I will always love him.

The third answer is doing a bible study or marital study together.  Hopefully it will not only strengthen our marriage, but also give us something in common.  That way not only will we always have something to talk about, but we can be connected by something even when we can't talk.

And the fourth answer I have come up with is the reason for why this blog is Part 1.  I recently was inspired to make Kevin as many meals as I could before I go. This all started on Sunday afternoon.  I had recently started canning my own salsas, which Kevin has loved.  I gave a jar to my Dad for Christmas and on Sunday, he was telling us that he didn't have tomatoes to make chili, so he added what was left of my jar of salsa and that it turned out really well.  So I started thinking that instead of just salsa, I could can a chili mix.  I added all of the spices, tomato, onion, and peppers.  So now all my husband has to do is brown a pound of hamburger, a can of beans and a can of chili mix.  He can make it in a crockpot or on the stove.  So it is really simple, and he can still have a homemade meal.  (For the record, my husband is a terrible cook :-) )  Plus, I already made a pot of chili to make sure the mix is good and it turned out great!

But of course, that got me thinking of other recipes I could do this with where Kevin just has to cook some meat and add a mix or sauce.  And the more that I thought about it, the more I realized the implications.  I could make a bunch of pre-made meals so that meals that take longer to cook won't take as long.  Or when I eventually I become pregnant, I could pre-make some of my favorite meals so I need to worry about cooking after the baby comes.  Life will only get busier, so pre-making meals just keeps sounding better and better.

So, again, there will be multiple parts to this blog that will include recipes that I try and enjoy, as well as at least one post of how you can do your own canning at home easily!

Wife & Life: Choosing Not to Have Children.... Even When You Desperately Want Them

So, after two years of marriage, baby fever has set in in full swing.  With so many married couples having children, being pregnant or are trying to have kids, it's hard to not want to join them.  Especially with certain parents putting the pressure on!
To be honest, my marriage is amazing! And if it weren't, we probably wouldn't feel so ready to have children.  But the worst part is, we aren't having children because of me. As much as I want them and feel ready, I am just not at a point in my life where children are an option.  choosing to be in the Army has made that difficult.

Now, I am not saying women in the military shouldn't have children, because the Army does some amazing things to help take care of their children.  But as an officer, I know that my days can be incredibly long regardless of my intent to get out on time.  And the longer I stay in, the longer days I will work.  When you work 11-14 hour days, babies don't fit in well.  Ignore the whole not being able to sleep part (though that is a deterrent as well), by the time I get home, my baby would already be asleep.  I would rarely get time with my child and even when I did, I would be too exhausted to truly enjoy it.

And though I could get past all of this, because most days aren't that bad.  But joining the Army is a commitment.  So long as I am in the Army, I need to expect deployments.  To join the Army and hope to never deploy nor fight for your country is saddening.  Even if we weren't at war in Afghanistan (as soon we won't be), you never know when America's Army will be called upon again and as long as I am in the Army, I want to be ready and prepared for that moment.  And I couldn't be a woman who leaves my children and husband at home to go and fight a war.  My heart wouldn't be in it, and I owe it to my Soldiers to want to be there with them.

So, I plan to serve my four years and get out.  I figure as I am close to my contract being up, we will quit preventing children and shortly after start actually trying.  Then I will get out when I have our first child.  At that point, I will be a stay at home mom, work on my MBA and start my own business from home, but that will come in a later blog.

As for now, I will live vicariously through friends and family (and I really look forward to being an Aunt!)