Life: Two trimesters down, one to go!

It's officially my last trimester! 26 weeks later and I figured it was about time for another update.  It feels good to be over the hump of knowing that if Joshua comes, he can survive.  Obviously, I want him to wait and develop fully and healthily but it is very comforting to know that he can come at any time.  In a couple of weeks, the Army restricts my work hours to no more than 8 hours a day, no more than 40 hours a week.  And yes, I am supposed to work up until my delivery day (unless the doctor's give me bed rest).

At this point in the pregnancy, I have been enjoying the normal symptoms of nosebleeds, heart burn, sciatic pain and low energy levels.  I have gained 20 pounds exactly  as of this morning and Joshua is kicking like crazy.  Kevin felt the kicking for the first time last week but it was off and on.  Now, if Joshua is kicking towards my front, my stomach moves noticeably.  It has become very distracting because now when I feel him kicking, I automatically want to look and see if I can see it.  Mostly he seems to like kicking me in the back, stomach and bladder.  

We've already put the crib together and got the bedding and wall decorations. We are waiting until we pick his dedication verse and then we will stencil it on his way and put the decals around it.  I am currently studying the book of Joshua during my daily readings for inspiration.  We have a few possibilities already, but our intention with the verse we choose is to help define the character we want our children to have.  

We have also been doing a fair amount of reading and have made a few "decisions" about life when Joshua comes and how we want to raise him.  I put "decisions" in quotes because these are mostly just the things we intend to try first.  For instance, we have just started talking about doing a birth plan and my current preference is to attempt a natural birth.  However, I am not opposed to getting anesthetic if that's how I feel once contractions start.  Similiarly, we have decided that once Joshua gets here, we intend to do the 90 Minute Baby Sleep Program.  Additionally, Kevin and I have decided that our child care choice is to use a nanny.  We will be waiting until his arrival is much closer to hire someone, but we will be using Sittercity to make our selection.  The last thing we have decided is that we are dropping most every commitment that we have outside of our jobs.  Since most of Joshua's time is going to be spent with the nanny, we both feel that it is really important to spend our time off with Joshua.  Not to mention the fact that unlike in most American sitcoms, we are expecting our life to change and revolve around fulfilling Joshua's needs.  Now, that's not to say we won't add things back to our social calendar as we feel able, but it will only be after we are sure that those things fit in the parameters of the type of parents we want to be.  

I think that's about it.  Just three short months left until Joshua is here and I think it will go fast and then slow.  Mostly because Kevin and I are taking a trip to Florida with my family at the end of the month and we are taking a trip back to Illinois in August (for a friend's bridal shower!) and a trip in early September for my baby shower.  And after all that traveling in the period of about a month, we will be coming home just to wait until Joshua arrives in mid-October.  

Wife & Life: Choosing Not to Have Children.... Even When You Desperately Want Them

So, after two years of marriage, baby fever has set in in full swing.  With so many married couples having children, being pregnant or are trying to have kids, it's hard to not want to join them.  Especially with certain parents putting the pressure on!
To be honest, my marriage is amazing! And if it weren't, we probably wouldn't feel so ready to have children.  But the worst part is, we aren't having children because of me. As much as I want them and feel ready, I am just not at a point in my life where children are an option.  choosing to be in the Army has made that difficult.

Now, I am not saying women in the military shouldn't have children, because the Army does some amazing things to help take care of their children.  But as an officer, I know that my days can be incredibly long regardless of my intent to get out on time.  And the longer I stay in, the longer days I will work.  When you work 11-14 hour days, babies don't fit in well.  Ignore the whole not being able to sleep part (though that is a deterrent as well), by the time I get home, my baby would already be asleep.  I would rarely get time with my child and even when I did, I would be too exhausted to truly enjoy it.

And though I could get past all of this, because most days aren't that bad.  But joining the Army is a commitment.  So long as I am in the Army, I need to expect deployments.  To join the Army and hope to never deploy nor fight for your country is saddening.  Even if we weren't at war in Afghanistan (as soon we won't be), you never know when America's Army will be called upon again and as long as I am in the Army, I want to be ready and prepared for that moment.  And I couldn't be a woman who leaves my children and husband at home to go and fight a war.  My heart wouldn't be in it, and I owe it to my Soldiers to want to be there with them.

So, I plan to serve my four years and get out.  I figure as I am close to my contract being up, we will quit preventing children and shortly after start actually trying.  Then I will get out when I have our first child.  At that point, I will be a stay at home mom, work on my MBA and start my own business from home, but that will come in a later blog.

As for now, I will live vicariously through friends and family (and I really look forward to being an Aunt!)