Parenting: Our daily nanny log

 Less than a month left until our due date and things are coming together nicely.   This past week I ordered some nursing clothes which I plan on including in the go bag as well as just wanting some tank tops and such for once Joshua is here.  I also had my 36 week appointment this week and did all of the pre-admitting for the hospital and scheduled my last four appointments.  The nursery is all set up and thank you cards are out for all the gifts.  We did our labor and delivery class last Sunday and are feeling a little  bit more preapred as far as what to expect.  

I still need to build a go bag (the diaper bag is already done since none of that stuff needs to be used between now and whenever we go to the hospital).  Next weekend we plan on clearing out our registries for the items left.  Then the last thing we need to do is actually post our nanny job.  We plan on posting the job on sittercity.com  which only allows you to post a job three months out.  Since we want the nanny to start in January, it means we need to wait until the first week of October to post the job.  If we don't have someone hired by December we will probably also post on care.com since that should cast a wider net.  We have decided that we are considering paying extra for housekeeping as well.  We also broke down what we are expecting to pay which came out to about $8.50-$10.00/ hr with cleaning or $8.00-$9.50/ hr without.  

We also have the nanny log mostly done.  It took me a little bit to get used to the idea since it felt weird to me to have a log but I am glad we are doing it.  Especially since the nanny will come in the mornings when I am home and leave when Kevin gets home.  It just helps with continuity and keeping track of Joshua's schedule.  We decided to use google forms to keep track but we will just have one copy printed out and laminated for her to take notes on during the day.  Then the nanny won't need to be jumping on the computer for every update, she can just update it at the end of the day and it will automatically go into a spreadsheet.  Hopefully, this will help us avoid rushed conversations at the end of the day.  Below is the link to the nanny log.  Feel free to give it a try.  If you have any suggestions, feel free to leave your comments below.  (Please note: this will change when we move to solid foods. We also decided to leave diapers off as it just didn't seem necessary early on).
Joshua's Day Log

Parenting: Choosing Childcare

I guess it is probably time for another blog post.We are at 31 weeks and this little boy is already running out of room.  I wasn't sure what to write about since there isn't much change in my current situation.  I am due in about 2 months and Joshua seems to be growing healthily.  I have no concerns really to speak of and while most of the pregnancy symptoms really suck, it's still not that bad (though I am ever expanding). This week I did get Joshua's room a little more organized and cleared a space in our kitchen cabinets and linen closets for the addition of his things.  We are only a couple of weeks away from the baby shower and gifts are already starting to roll in! 

So, I figured instead of sharing how little things are changing, I will share some of the planning we have done in preparation for Joshua's arrival.And the question we get most is about what we intend to do for childcare.  So in this post, I will cover how we have chosen a nanny.  In a later post, I will cover things like how we intend to evaluate the job and also walking through our hiring process (we are still a couple of months from hiring anyone). 

How did we decide to get a nanny? Well it was a number of factors.  The first was really that we can afford it.  Money wasn't the main drive for wanting a nanny, but it was a show stopper.  If we couldn't afford it, then we weren't going to go any further.  So, Kevin and I looked at our budget from this year and looked at the money we are saving and have determined that by shifting the money we are saving to pay for the nanny, we have more than enough to cover the cost of a nanny.  To make sure we could afford a nanny, we factored how many hours we expected her to work in a week (aiming high at 40), then multiplying that by the minimum wage (our state's minimum wage  is higher than our federal).   We then spread it out over the course of a year because we want to pay more of a salary than hourly.  I have normally at least two extra days  off each month and we are actually expecting that the nanny will probably work closer to 35- 37 hours a week as Kevin and mine's schedules overlap. So realistically, their pay will average more than a dollar over minimum wage but we figured it would be better if our nanny just got the same paycheck every time so that she has a steady income and doesn't need to worry about what happens on my short work weeks. It's also worth noting that in our area, a starting nanny makes approximately 50 cents under minimum wage (which is illegal technically) so what we are able to offer is actually competitive in our area.  (We recognize that as we move, that may no longer be the case and we may need to explore other options).  

We also knew we wanted to set the agenda for our childcare every day.  We know we want Joshua read to every day, have tummy time and occasionally be taken on a walk.  As he gets older we want someone to work on sign language with him as well as other mile stones like talking and walking. For daycare, depending on where you go  determines what sort of care your child gets.  But no matter where you go they set the agenda, and you sign on for how they want to do things.  And part of setting the agenda for us is doing a daily nanny log.  (See next blog post!)

Other factors included wanting a flexible schedule as some days Kevin goes in early and some days he stays later and the schedule will be different as I have field exercises, training, etc.  without needing to worry about dropping Joshua off somewhere in the morning or picking him up.  We also didn't want to have to worry about what to do if Joshua gets sick and they wouldn't allow him in daycare for a few days.  I have seen many Soldiers in a rough place because every time they took their child to daycare during the winter, it seemed like their kid would get sick and then they would loose childcare for a few days (that they were still paying for of course) and it was just a vicious cycle.  Now, one of the cons to hiring a nanny is that if she calls in sick, there isn't an automatic backup.  But Kevin's schedule is very fluid and he can take time off most of the time with almost no notice, so we are willing to assume a little bit of risk there. 

So for us, a nanny was an easy choice of child care.  Though it is also worth mentioning that being in the military, it is very hard to find a day care off base that runs the same hours I do (which is a need for us because occasionally Kevin travels for work).  And on post, I would have to pay significantly more because I am an officer and Kevin makes good money (you pay based on your income, not based on the childcare being received). So day care would only be a little bit cheaper for us anyway. 

Life: Two trimesters down, one to go!

It's officially my last trimester! 26 weeks later and I figured it was about time for another update.  It feels good to be over the hump of knowing that if Joshua comes, he can survive.  Obviously, I want him to wait and develop fully and healthily but it is very comforting to know that he can come at any time.  In a couple of weeks, the Army restricts my work hours to no more than 8 hours a day, no more than 40 hours a week.  And yes, I am supposed to work up until my delivery day (unless the doctor's give me bed rest).

At this point in the pregnancy, I have been enjoying the normal symptoms of nosebleeds, heart burn, sciatic pain and low energy levels.  I have gained 20 pounds exactly  as of this morning and Joshua is kicking like crazy.  Kevin felt the kicking for the first time last week but it was off and on.  Now, if Joshua is kicking towards my front, my stomach moves noticeably.  It has become very distracting because now when I feel him kicking, I automatically want to look and see if I can see it.  Mostly he seems to like kicking me in the back, stomach and bladder.  

We've already put the crib together and got the bedding and wall decorations. We are waiting until we pick his dedication verse and then we will stencil it on his way and put the decals around it.  I am currently studying the book of Joshua during my daily readings for inspiration.  We have a few possibilities already, but our intention with the verse we choose is to help define the character we want our children to have.  

We have also been doing a fair amount of reading and have made a few "decisions" about life when Joshua comes and how we want to raise him.  I put "decisions" in quotes because these are mostly just the things we intend to try first.  For instance, we have just started talking about doing a birth plan and my current preference is to attempt a natural birth.  However, I am not opposed to getting anesthetic if that's how I feel once contractions start.  Similiarly, we have decided that once Joshua gets here, we intend to do the 90 Minute Baby Sleep Program.  Additionally, Kevin and I have decided that our child care choice is to use a nanny.  We will be waiting until his arrival is much closer to hire someone, but we will be using Sittercity to make our selection.  The last thing we have decided is that we are dropping most every commitment that we have outside of our jobs.  Since most of Joshua's time is going to be spent with the nanny, we both feel that it is really important to spend our time off with Joshua.  Not to mention the fact that unlike in most American sitcoms, we are expecting our life to change and revolve around fulfilling Joshua's needs.  Now, that's not to say we won't add things back to our social calendar as we feel able, but it will only be after we are sure that those things fit in the parameters of the type of parents we want to be.  

I think that's about it.  Just three short months left until Joshua is here and I think it will go fast and then slow.  Mostly because Kevin and I are taking a trip to Florida with my family at the end of the month and we are taking a trip back to Illinois in August (for a friend's bridal shower!) and a trip in early September for my baby shower.  And after all that traveling in the period of about a month, we will be coming home just to wait until Joshua arrives in mid-October.  

Baby: It's a...!!!!!

We are officially 21 weeks which means we are over halfway to meeting our sweet baby!  And as we passed our 20 week mark, we had our twenty week ultrasound.  And with that comes our first chance to see our baby's gender.  And the great news is... It's a boy!!!!

20 weeks, 11 oz and due on October 18th!

Now, for those of you who haven't heard, Kevin guessed the gender within 5 minutes of the second line appearing on the stick!  He very boldly declared that it was a boy and hasn't wavered from that since. His mom was, from my understanding, just as certain as he was.  Meanwhile, my mom was quite certain we were having a girl.

I was pretty much just on the fence in the beginning of the pregnancy.  When we had our first ultrasound between weeks 11 and 12, the first thing I said when I saw baby was "wow, look at him!"  But that is as close as I ever got to guessing the gender.  And even then, I didn't feel any certainty.  And while Kevin was still guessing it was a boy, we both knew we wouldn't have any disappointment either way.

Farney family (Kevin's Dad is center)

Now the next question is always, do we have a name picked out and if so, are we telling people.  The answer to both is yes.  Not surprisingly, we had our names picked out before we even got pregnant.  Our son's name is Joshua David Farney.  It was a pretty easy choice.  In Kevin's family, the boys' middle names are normally named after a family member.  And this being the first baby boy since Kevin's Dad has passed, we knew we wanted to name him after him.  So, that is where the middle name David came from.  We also knew we wanted to name our children after people in the bible, with names that have meanings that we hope our children strive for.  We want the names to help shape the identity and personality of our children.  Aside from David being the name of Kevin's Dad, it also means "beloved" which is very fitting for our little boy.  After picking the middle name, we went through a lot of options for the first name before finally landing on Joshua, which means "YAHWEH is salvation".  We thought both names not only had rich meaning, but are also named for two very strong biblical figures whose lives' are worth emulating.  So there it is, Joshua David Farney (or J.D. if he so chooses).

20 weeks!

As a quick pregnancy update, I will say that the morning sickness is completely over (Praise the Lord!).  However, it has been pretty much replaced with acid reflux.  It doesn't seem to matter what I eat, some days it is just worse than others.  Most of the time it is manageable, though if it gets much worse, I am probably going to need to start sleeping in a chair instead of my comfy bed.  It has already stopped me from running (which was upsetting my stomach even more), so that's a bummer.  Aside from that, I am experiencing low back pain and a slight return to my energy levels. I am extremely thankful not to have swollen feet, stretch marks or spider veins and am hoping none of those are coming.  I also started feeling flutters at my 18th week.  My placenta has a front position (though off centered to the right) so I mostly feel baby's movements when his feet are on my left side.   The movements are becoming more pronounced and I can feel a larger variety of movements every day.  Kevin, of course, is really looking forward to when he will be able to feel Joshua moving too!

We are still planning on a pond themed nursery (turtles and froggies and ducks! Oh my!) with mostly green and yellow.  I might go a little crazy every time I see something with a frog or turtle, but I haven't bought anything since we found out (mostly because Kevin has been the voice of reason on the matter)!  I have spent a fair amount of time on Pinterest, and etsy.com looking at nursery ideas though.  It's really addicting!  I also started registering for a few items at target.com (though will probably add a lot more when baby is closer to coming home).  And last night, we went to Babies R Us to do our main registry.  I won't lie, it is really hard to look at all the cute baby stuff without buying anything!  In case you are interested in seeing all the cute things I have found, all the links are posted below.  It is going to be hard to be patient and wait for baby showers, but I am sure Kevin will help keep me sane/ practical!

BabiesRUs - Baby Registry
Target
Etsy
Pinterest