Army: Afghanistan Number 9

Well, here we are.  Week 11 post 9.  It has been an interesting week here in Afghanistan.  As we move into the warmer months, the spring offensive is coming under way, which means more rocket attacks in general.  The alarms having been sounding more frequently here and has been interrupting my (and other's) much needed sleep.  That probably the biggest change between my last couple of weeks.  So I shall continue this post in my normal style.

How I feel most of my time in class! (Not really true though)

Mental: So I have moved into the data collecting phase of my lean six sigma project.  I am really going to two directions; how long does it take to move a container from the time of first request to first movement and what types of containers end up at the yard.  The second part is hard to explain, but basically, containers are packed in all sorts of ways before they are sent.  One option is that our teams pack it properly so it moves out of country faster.  The second is that the unit packs it as nicely  as they can, but still don't get it quite right. And the third is basically the unit just throws a ton of stuff in containers and sends it off to close a base quickly.  The second two involve time unpacking, repacking and resending stuff.  So I am looking at processing times for each.  I will be spending time pouring over spreadsheets this week as well as spending time seeing how the containers are processed.  It will be a large amount of work, but I am just glad to actually feel like I am actioning something now. 

Emotional: So, I am still confunded by the idea of how to be a good wife and still be so far away from my husband.  It's not that I think I am a bad wife or anything like that.  But what I don't think people understand about me is the fact that even when I am stateside, I am constantly trying to improve myself.  And I am always looking at how I can be a better wife.  The frustrating part is not feeling like I can do much here.  I have been trying to just speak more openly with Kevin.  Specifically about how I spend my time here.  I talk to Kevin in the mornings and after sleeping, I can barely remember the previous day or distinguish it from any of the others before that.  Plus, since I have already lived through it once, I don't much feel like living through it again.  Whatever irritated me the day before doesn't matter after a good night's sleep and isn't worth bringing up.  This is on top of the fact that I work in a classified environment and most of my day is spent dealing with secret documents, so I can't even explain what I am working on.  But, I finally realized that I wasn't sharing some key life events with Kevin because I had already dismissed them.  I wasn't letting him know how both my professional and my work relationships were progressing.  Relationships that he thought were still damaged had been repaired and relationships he thought were good had been damaged.  The problem with me not sharing this is that it doesn't help him in his praying for me.  He would pray for things that had long since past and wasn't praying for things I currently need.  So, at night, I try to consider what happened during the day that I need to share with Kevin in the morning, regardless of how I wake up feeling about them.  I think of these updates as prayer requests and then I share them with my loving husband. 

Another piece of my emotional well being here in Afghanistan has been an unexpected friend I found in one of the other lieutenants here.  He is the only other married lieutenant in my unit, has five children back at home (the fifth being born last month) and is almost 9 years older than me.  But honestly, I think the thing that draws us together the most is Christianity.  He is one of the very few people here who uses the scripture as his foundation for action.  He gives biblical advice and I think we both challenge each other to do better and be more Christ-like.  I don't get much free time here, but what I have that isn't spent in my room sleeping is probably being spent with him.  I greatly appreciate his friendship and so does Kevin, as it gives me someone to talk to since it can rarely be him.  But, while co-gender friendships have been a regular part of my life for a long time (kind of expected in the army), there is a degree of caution that has to be exercised.  I would never want the appearance of impropriety in my actions and want to avoid rumors where they can be avoided.  It is a delicate balance and one that irritates me frequently.  Regardless, I share this only to share the prayer request that goes along with it: that our friendship would remain pure, drama free, would be above reproach and not subject to any rumors that pervert the truth. 

Physical: So, I would like to say that I have been working out recently... but I really haven't.  More important to my physical health recently is my desire to just get some sleep.  And since I have been getting off slightly earlier, I have been trying to take advantage the opportunity.  But, as I am currently reflecting on the workouts I have not been doing, I acknowledge that I need to make time for it so that I will do it.  Honestly, the largest part of any change you want to make, is changing your schedule to make it fit.

Financial: So last week I started investing.  I bought and sold my first stocks at a profit of about 16%.  I had bought into the company Yandex (YNDX: Russia's google) and sold it shortly after their earnings report came out.  I also bought Arlington Asset Investment (AI) at the advice of someone else, bought in late and likely won't make anything on it.  I will sell it it likely at no profit eventually.  I have also bought into Apollo Global Management (APO) and am currently up about 4%.  Their earnings report comes out next week and it is expected to have some good news.  Truth be told, my methods mostly involve watching earnings report dates compared to EPS and then looking at the last 1-3 years to see if I think it will likely rise and by how much. 

Spiritual: So apart from praying and reading regularly, I have realized this week it is about time to start another spiritual discipline: memorization.  Last week, I realized how much of an effect sarcasm can have.  Constantly joking about certain things in a negative light not only makes others think I am serious, but becomes more of a reality the more I ay it.  So if I start joking negatively about something and keep repeating it, I start to have a more negative attitude.  So I started reading more of what the bible says about being careful with our words.  And this led me to realize that memorizing these verses would not only help me remember, but might also changed my actions as I recalled the verses in more tense situations.  So my first memory verse was Proverbs 15:1 "A soft answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger".  My second memory verse was Proverbs 21:23 "Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble" and today's verse is Proverbs 12:18 "There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." On my wall at work is a list of verses and each day, I read them all, pick the one that speaks to me the most that day and then start memorizing it. As I memorize it, I go back over the verses I learned the previous day. So we will see how long this list ends up.

Army: Afghanistan Number 8

POST 8 WEEK 10: Ok, so it has been a couple of weeks, so I know it is time for a new post.  For the last week I have been out traveling around Afghanistan.  I have been to Kabul, Bagram, Shank, Sharana and back.  I have several places left to go but don’t know yet when I will be traveling again.  The main purpose behind my travels has been my lean six sigma project, but also to meet our Soldiers where they work out of.  Another big reason for the travel was a quick best practices conference to help create some standardization in our operations despite having people all across Afghanistan. 

But, per my usual style, I will give you a broken down update of life in Afghanistan.

Where the Taliban live

Financial: Oh, the frustration.  My plan was to do my investing before I left for battlefield circulation (what we call it when we travel around to see our Soldiers).  Unfortunately, USAA had other plans.  I did not know that it would take a week before the funds I transferred into my USAA account would become available.  So while I was out and about, I only managed to do some investigating once or twice and for a short amount of time.  So now I need to start my research over and find some stocks to invest in this week.  We shall see how it goes. 

Physical: So, I this week I plan on taking another diagnostic APFT.  My run time is improving (I think) but I honestly need to work on my upper body strength the most.  The other day, one of my workout partners decided it was time to do pull ups and dips and I was sad to see where I was at.  I used to be able to do 8 pull ups straight and now I am pulling out about 3.  So I need to work on that more now, since I have about a month before I will probably be taking my PT test.

Emotional: One step forward, two steps back this week.  I haven’t hardly been able to talk to Kevin while I was traveling since I can only really get a hold of him at night his time.  Normally when I would have been able to call him, I was traveling so it made everything more difficult.  But, what I am also struggling through is hearing the issues he is having at home without minimalizing them based off of what I am experiencing here.  For example, there have been some issues at work and with my chain of command that is resulting in some drastic changes on top of some already necessary changes.  2 out of 3 company commanders in our battalion are changing out because their time in command is up and two of our field grades are leaving the unit.  Just like every other Army unit, people are fluid and constantly changing.  And, like any unit experiences, there are ethical issues, moral issues and flat out legal issues we are dealing with on a daily basis.  And it is not that things are terrible here, nor even out of the norm (I think a lot of units experience similar issues down range.  It’s what makes deployments so hard).  On top of that, we get to deal with rocket attacks and the like on a fairly regular basis.   So when Kevin complains about something simple, like his grad school homework load, I find my patience growing very short and my temper rising.  I am guessing this is a similar reaction to what I have heard from before out of other Soldiers.  But, I know I get no excuses and I have to be respectful of my husband regardless. And there really aren't any good excuses for being impatient towards any one, because everyone is going through something and there are many, many people who have it far worse than me.  So for now, I am going to focus on being more patient and loving.  And to also be more open with Kevin about how I feel and what I am dealing with.  It is honestly hard to share what I am going through day to day because after the living the day once (and It is frequently a very long day), I do not want to talk about it and live through it again. 

My Life= Containers

Mental: So…. Lean Six Sigma.  I am finding my motivation leaving me as I sit through more and more two hour classes that start at 8 pm and I have to finish my work after them.  It doesn’t seem that there are enough hours in the day to get everything accomplished and the week before I left, I stayed at work until after 1 in the morning at least 3 days and didn’t get out before 11 pm for the other 4.  So, the idea of tackling something else is mentally draining right now.  But, after actually getting out and talking to the guys on the ground about movements of containers on ground across Afghanistan I realized that my project is a necessary one because there are issues everywhere. So, I guess my motivation has picked up a bit to get back out there and figure out what’s actually happening and how we can save Soldiers time and maybe the Army some money. 

Spiritual: So, despite traveling around the country, I have not missed a night of prayer nor reading my bible.  I am really enjoying the chronological bible, but I am not sure I will ever fully appreciate the genealogy in the bible.  It always just looks like lists of name I can’t pronounce in an order I find hard to understand (multi-echeloned and linear).  But, at least that is broken up by the stories of these people.  I find my prayers becoming more frustrated as I continue to pray for one of the guys in my unit who seems to have no more inclination towards Christianity than when he first got here.  He seems very bitter against God, but is also the type not to share anything personal.   I know that this is a matter of faith and patience on my part, to continue praying and leaving it in God’s hands.  But I think I better understand how God must feel to be constantly revealing His majesty and His love with people and still leaving the choice to them.  To know what’s best for someone and let them make their own decisions is probably also going to be my hardest parenting decision.  To love someone so much and only want the best for them but respecting their right to choose for themselves what they think is best when you know better and then not holding their choice bitterly against them is one of life’s hardest lessons and can only come through unconditional love.