Ok, so after some "enlightenment", I have decided to rewrite this blog. This one should be less whiny, and will focus more on what the Army life is really like in the field, and what it's like to be doing your own thing with a family at home.
So, of course, NTC is just a beast of a different color compared to the rest of the Army training, or even deployment. Its a game that is already rigged for us to lose. I'm still unsure why they do that. It's probably to stress us to a point we are unfamiliar with, but I think it's probably more than that. The Army, as a whole, is completely unaccustomed to failure. Mostly because we don't fail, but also because we are not good at it. I have yet it meet a leader that is willing to accept failure, let alone is ok with the idea that failure might occur by any measure (which is usually when they create a higher standard than what the Army has and their is any inkling that it may not be fully met). So I think it gives leaders a chance to understand that failure is a possibility, even when we are trained and our doing our best.
You may be thinking that the game isn't rigged, and that its all just perception, but it really is. Everyone is monitored by these OC's (Observer/ controller) that tell the OPFOR (Opposing Forces) what we are doing and how we are reacting. It's the only thing that makes sense! Because the OPFOR literally know our every move before we make it. The battle was definitely lost.
Now, our unit isn't the warfighters, its the war-supporters. So our quality of life was completely different. The guys on the "front-line" ate MREs for every meal, had to go to the bathroom in bags. They slept on the ground and never showered. We had our own DFAC (technically in a tent) where we were served hot breakfast and hot dinner and was open 24/7 so we could pick up snacks like cereal with cold milk or M&Ms or whatever. We had porta-potties that were cleaned almost daily (there was a rather gross period where some Soldiers did some gross stuff and the cleaners didn't want to clean them but our S-4 took care of that in less than a day). We slept in tents with heat and a/c and worked in similar conditions. The a/c for our work tent didn't work that well, but we still had it. Now, we still didn't have showers, but most people dealt with it by either taking showers while they were out picking up supplies (I can't prove that that happened, but I am pretty sure it did. It doesn't take that long to pick up CL I) or they just used some water from the water buffalo and cleaned themselves with that. And of course, lots of baby wipes and face cleansers were used. I tend to use Clean and Clear face wipes for my face, unscented wipes for everything else, and a dry foam shampoo for my hair. They dry shampoo works better than nothing, and it also helps to style my hair back into the bun. So, all in all, our living conditions we so much better than the guys actually in the fight but were, of course, still terrible to us.
Most of what we did was go and pick up supplies from the TISA, then push them to either the BSA or just all the way to the units that need them. We mostly pushed food supplies, fuel, construction materials, ammunition, and repair parts. There were normally at least two convoys on the road at any one time, and occasionally three or four. My job was to track them and record when they reached certain check points or their location and wait for them to get back on the road. And of course, receive reports if they came into enemy contact. After the first week, the OPFOR pretty well quit hitting us and focused on the frontline battle so it made our lives much easier.
I also got moved from battle captain-ing to planning, which is really my bread and butter. I mostly spent my time working on planning our movement from "the box" back to where we were first received, where there are showers and a PX and gut trucks to feed us. Our battalion was the first to get back and the first to be in line for pretty much everything. We had to make sure that we got everything turned in or we pretty much couldn't leave. So it was really great that we were pretty much ahead of the curve on everything. While we were executing, I got the joy of being the TC (mostly just meant being a passenger) in a HMMWV with no doors and broken heat during a two hour drive in 19 degree weather after sitting in it for three hours before movement. But such is life...
The weirdest part for me for all of NTC though was being so busy and in new place. The long hours were pretty typical and to be expected. What I didn't expect was to not really even think about home nor my husband. It was likely they didn't exist, and nothing really did outside of NTC. I can barely even describe it. But I think it was a mixture of not having the time to think about it, and not really wanting to. I mean, thinking about it makes you sad, and you don't have the time to sit around and mope about things; so you might as well not even think about it. But at the same time, I did feel like a horrible wife. To not even really think about my husband almost made me feel single. It's the first time in a long time where I was really only thinking about myself and having to really put myself first. All I can say is I really didn't like it and much prefer marriage to singleness and am super glad I am home with my husband and puppies!
Our lessons learned from the experience: Overall NTC was a success. We identified our shortfalls, are realigning our section to make the team we are going to deploy with and I can honestly say, I am more excited to deploy because of our leadership. We are expecting some new additions to our team, but I'm sure they will be great, whenever it is that they get here!
(p.s. The images aren't mine. I never took pictures while I was there because I did most of my work in Secret areas which meant no cameras and no phones. So I never carried around a camera and thus, never took any pictures).
I don't wish to speak out of turn, and normally I wouldn't post anything under the circumstances, but my father-in-law recently passed away. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to blog about such a close and personal time for our family, but I decided to anyway. I am not going to reflect on the life of the man that I didn't know as much about as I now wish I had, nor am I going to reflect on my experiences with him. Instead, I want to reflect on one small part of his legacy. The thing I guess I have learned from him the most is that even though your children might have completely different goals, dreams and preferences in life doesn't mean that they can't grow in expressing the values you instill in them.
