Family: Sad reflections

I don't wish to speak out of turn, and normally I wouldn't post anything under the circumstances, but my father-in-law recently passed away.  I wasn't sure if I really wanted to blog about such a close and personal time for our family, but I decided to anyway.  I am not going to reflect on the life of the man that I didn't know as much about as I now wish I had, nor am I going to reflect on my experiences with him. Instead, I want to reflect on one small part of his legacy. The thing I guess I have learned from him the most is that even though your children might have completely different goals, dreams and preferences in life doesn't mean that they can't grow in expressing the values you instill in them.

From my husband and his two older siblings, I have seen nothing but charity, generosity and big hearted-ness (not really a word, I know) along with valuing education, self-improvement and all three truly being self-starters.  They are all successful in their careers, have continued their education past baccalaureate degrees and have moved out on their own successfully.   There are other traits they share as well, but I think these are the most predominant from what I have seen from these three.

This has led me to contemplating Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."  I don't have any children of my own, but as I spend more time with my husbands family, I realize the truth in this verse.  It doesn't say to be a bible thumping parent nor to let your children do whatever want and give them whatever they want.  It's actually training your child to be an adult who does what is right because it is right.  (And being in the Army, the word training really stands out.  Training is continual, and is never complete.  There is always more to do as perfection will never be reached.)  This will be your legacy, and my father-in-law has left an amazing one.  The example he set for his family has not influenced my husband to become the man that he is, but will also effect my parenting some day as I hope to raise children who know what is right and have the strength to do it.  I hope, pray and will strive to raise my children in a similar way so that some day they will be as generous and as driven as my father-in-law's children.

I wish I had had more time on this earth with him but I am truly grateful to have known him. My heart aches not just because of his death, but because of the large hole that has been left in our family.  Things will never truly be the same again but I am thankful for the lessons he has taught me, and more importantly, for the way he raised his son, my husband.